If you’ve ever felt that jolt of panic when your child shares that they've been spending time with "daddy's new girlfriend" or "mommy's new boyfriend"…

…you’re not alone.

That moment can trigger fear, jealousy, grief, and of course, a protective instinct that makes you want to react fast. And sometimes that turns into a moment we later regret.

In this episode, we’ll help you slow down and respond with wisdom instead of emotion. You’ll learn how to make a helpful first impression (even if you don’t feel ready), how to reduce tension that fuels loyalty binds, and move toward a healthier co-parenting dynamic without just pretending everything is “fine.”

You’ll Discover

• What to do when you feel unsettled by your ex's “recoupling”
• How to protect your kids from getting stuck in the middle and stay focused on their well-being
• How to set a healthy tone with the new partner (and your ex), so you can avoid common missteps that often strain co-parenting

Resources from this Episode:

• Episode 229. The Heavy Burdens Kids Carry: Loyalty Binds, Parental Allegiance, and How to Help
• Episode 226. How Two Homes Raise Kids that Thrive: A Co-Parenting Blueprint for Caring Parents [with Jay & Tammy Daughtry]
• Episode 161. How do Healthy Parent/Child Roles Help Avoid the Pitfalls of Parentification? [with Ron Deal & Lauren Reitsema]
• Episode 162. How to Healthy Step-Parent/Step-Child Dynamics Avoid the Pitfalls of Step-Parentification [with Ron Deal & Lauren Reitsema]

For Stepparents:

• Episode 44: Why does my Husband's Ex Think I'm the Enemy?
• Episode 45: How to Cooperate More with Your Spouse's Uncooperative Ex
• Episode 91: Is Your Husband's Hostile Ex-Wife Invading Your Life, Stealing Your Joy and Confidence?
• Episode 170. Co-Parenting Pitfalls for Bio and Step Parents: How to Avoid "Milestone Mishaps"

Ready for some extra support?

We're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Resources

Episode 230. Everyday Decisions, Big Tension: The Hurtful Patterns That Create Blended Family Division

Episode 203. How to Make Better Decisions and Solve Problems as a United Team

Episode 49. Should Your Highest Priority be Your Marriage…or Your Kids?

Episode 103. 4 Revealing Myths About 1 on 1 Time Between Parent and Their Bio-Kids (Part 1 of 2)

Episode 147. Do Sensitive Conversations End up Creating Conflict in Your Relationship?

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We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/free-call

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Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Ever tried to make a seemingly straightforward family decision (something that should be easy) only to feel the tension rise, opinions harden, and lines get drawn? You’re not imagining it. In blended families, decisions can feel like loyalty tests.

In this episode, we walk through a realistic scenario with a blended couple facing a decision dilemma: Do we prioritize a new experience that one side of the family is excited about… or protect a familiar tradition the other side values deeply? And that’s where things get complicated. Because it’s often not really about the decision itself. It’s about what the decision represents: loyalty and priority.

That’s when a hurtful pattern shows up that we call a Tenuous Triad:

• One parent becomes the Trapped Teammate (torn between spouse and kids),
• Their spouse becomes the Stranded Stranger (feeling unheard, powerless, devalued, overlooked),
• And the children become Confounded Kiddos (confused, unsettled, and often emotionally loud as they express what they want).

And once that triad forms, couples can get stuck in predictable traps:

• Impatience (“Why can’t we just move forward?”)
• Fear and guilt (“My kids are hurting and I'm to blame if they're disappointed.”)
• Lack of empathy (“You don’t get what this means to them.”)
• Lack of unity (“We aren’t leading together.”)
• Parent-child allegiance (“I have to side with my kids.”)

Our goal is to help you name what’s happening so you can stop reacting to surface-level conflict and start leading from a place of clarity and unity.

You’ll Discover

• What a Tenuous Triad is and why it often forms around everyday decisions
• How the Trapped Teammate / Stranded Stranger / Confounded Kiddos dynamic can quickly create biological “sides” in the home and ongoing disconnection, resentment, and hurt
• How to shift from reaction and contention to calm, united leadership as a couple

Resources from this Episode:

• Simple Step Episode: Managing Loyalties & Priorities in Your Home
• Episode 59. Why Are You Stuck in a Parent-Child Allegiance? (Part 1 of 2)
• Episode 179. Conquer Fear and Embrace Your Blend with Confidence and Clarity
• Episode 180. Break Free from Guilt and Blend with Authenticity and Security
• Episode 119. 6 Tips to Grow Empathy and Create More Connection in Your Marriage
• Episode 72. The Best Way to Create Healthy, Bonded Relationships
• Episode 50. How to Openly Communicate What You Really Want
• Episode 203. How to Make Better Decisions and Solve Problems as a United Team
• Episode 49. Should Your Highest Priority be Your Marriage…or Your Kids?
• Episode 103. 4 Revealing Myths About 1 on 1 Time Between Parent and Their Bio-Kids (Part 1 of 2)

Ready for some extra support?

Connect with us to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession