Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!!

In this episode, Noelani sits down with therapist Kirsten Cheong, LMFT, Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician, for a grounded and validating conversation about what it really means to grow up with a narcissistic or emotionally immature parent. They explore how anxiety, perfectionism, fawning, hypervigilance, and overthinking often trace back to childhood environments where safety depended on reading the room, staying small, and keeping a parent regulated.

Kirsten shares how her early clinical work with adults in addiction treatment and children in foster care helped her see the long-term throughline of trauma, especially the way childhood emotional abuse often shows up later as relationship anxiety, people-pleasing, and internalized fear. She explains why many high-functioning adults look calm on the outside while internally spiraling, and how that pattern can be a survival strategy rooted in narcissistic family systems.

Together, Noelani and Kirsten talk about fawning as a nervous system response, the impact of walking on eggshells, the way narcissistic parents block healthy individuation, and how survivors often struggle with authenticity because they were never allowed to safely become themselves. They also discuss the “introjected parent,” that harsh internal voice that keeps policing behavior long after the parent is no longer present.

The conversation also goes deep into no contact. Kirsten shares why she created her guide for cycle breakers considering no contact with family, especially for those carrying guilt, shame, and cultural conditioning around being a “good daughter” or “good son.” Both Noelani and Kirsten are clear that no contact is a personal choice, not a mandate, but they name how life-changing it can be for people leaving abusive family systems.

They also talk honestly about the limits of AI in healing work, the importance of finding a therapist who truly understands narcissistic abuse, and why feeling cared for in a therapeutic relationship matters so much for survivors.

In This Episode, We Talk About

• How anxiety and perfectionism can grow out of narcissistic family systems
• Why high-functioning survivors often look fine on the outside but are overwhelmed inside
• Fawning, hypervigilance, and constant scanning for danger
• The long-term effects of walking on eggshells
• Why narcissistic parents see autonomy and authenticity as a threat
• The “introjected parent” and the critical voice survivors carry inside
• How guilt keeps adult children stuck in abusive patterns
• What it can look like to choose no contact
• Why therapy with the right fit matters so much in narcissistic abuse recovery
  
  

About the Guest

Kirsten Cheong is a licensed therapist in California and a Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician. She specializes in working with high-functioning, anxious, perfectionistic adults, especially daughters of narcissistic mothers and survivors of emotionally immature family systems.

Resources Mentioned

• Beyond Mommy Dearest - Noelani Pearl Hernandez
  • Beyond Mommy Dearest Instagram
  • Beyond Mommy Dearest Website
  • Drop in Session Special - $19.99
• Kirsten’s Guide for Going No Contact with Family
  • Kristen's Instagram

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Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!!

When Healing Goes Deeper: Understanding Trauma Beyond the Mind with Heather Cypel

In this episode, we sit down with Heather Cypel, an intuitive psyche specialist, energy body specialist, and sacred union coach. Heather’s work focuses on the connection between the energy body, the psyche, and the physical experience, and how unresolved patterns can shape how we think, feel, and move through the world.

Heather’s journey into this work began through her own healing. After experiencing health challenges that traditional medicine couldn’t resolve, she turned to energy work and became deeply committed to understanding the relationship between human behavior, the psyche, and the energetic body.

With a background in history, anthropology, and a lifelong study of human behavioral patterns, Heather now helps others explore the deeper layers of their experiences and begin shifting patterns at the energetic level.

✨ About Her Work

Heather offers a range of services designed to support emotional, relational, and energetic healing. Her work centers on creating space for clients to understand their patterns, release what feels stuck, and reconnect with themselves in a more intentional way.

Her services include:

• Energy sessions focused on the energy body and stored patterns
• Exploration sessions and coaching around emotional and behavioral dynamics
• Relationship and sacred union coaching
• Classes and trainings on energetic and spiritual concepts
• Trauma-focused energy recordings to support release and integration

Her approach is rooted in the belief that healing happens when we begin to understand what we’ve been carrying… and allow it to move.

🔗 Connect with Heather

• Website: https://www.heathercypel.com/about-heather.html
  
  
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heather.cypel/
  
  

🌿 What We Explore in This Episode

• The energy body as a blueprint for lived experience
• How trauma can become stored and show up as patterns
• The connection between the psyche, energy, and behavior
• What it looks like to begin releasing what’s been held

💛 Support the Podcast

If this episode resonated with you, make sure to follow and subscribe to Beyond Mommy Dearest so you don’t miss upcoming conversations.

You can also follow us on Instagram for more trauma-informed content, reflections, and updates from the community.

Your support helps us continue creating these conversations and reaching more people who need them.

Support the show

Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!!

Narcissistic Abuse & the Nervous System: Why Healing Feels So Hard (and Why You’re Not the Problem) | With Alea Coburn

🎧 Show Notes
What is the real cost of healing after narcissistic abuse?

In this deeply honest and emotional episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, Noelani sits down with Alea Coburn to talk about what it actually feels like to heal after growing up with a narcissistic and emotionally neglectful mother.
We explore the concept of choosing peace at the cost of aloneness, and why for many survivors, being alone can feel safer than being unseen, dismissed, or emotionally erased.

Alea shares her personal story of survival, including the physical impact of trauma on her body, experiences with performative care, and the moment she realized she could no longer stay in relationships that compromised her well-being.

Together, we unpack:
Why narcissistic abuse is so difficult to name
How shame gets internalized in daughters of narcissistic mothers
What “social invisibility” does to your nervous system
The difference between real care and performative care
How trauma shows up physically in the body
Why anger is not toxic, but a source of wisdom
Red flags in relationships that survivors often miss
The emotional cost of staying vs. the courage it takes to leave
This episode is raw, validating, and at times intense, but it is also deeply empowering.

If you’ve ever felt like you were “too much,” “too sensitive,” or responsible for your own pain, this conversation will help you begin to untangle what was never yours to carry.

💬 Key Takeaways
You are not too much. You were unmet.
Your body is not broken. It is responding to what you lived through.
Anger is not the problem. It is information.
Being alone is sometimes the first step to no longer being invisible.
Healing may feel isolating, but it is also where you begin to come home to yourself

🧠 What We Talk About
Narcissistic mothers and emotional neglect
Nervous system dysregulation and trauma responses
Shame, identity, and overcompensation
Performative care vs. real support
Physical symptoms of emotional abuse
Red flags in relationships
Boundaries, anger, and self-trust
Choosing aloneness as a path to healing

🔗 Work With Alea + Learn More
Alea Coburn is a truth-teller, pattern seer, abuse survivor, and advocate who helps women rebuild trust, intuition, and health after narcissistic abuse, gaslighting, and systemic trauma.
Her work is for women who feel unmet, unseen, and ready to reclaim themselves.
✨ Connect + Explore:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rusticpeach/
Website: aleatamar.com
Substack: aleacoburn.substack.com
YouTube: youtube.com/@aleacoburn
Self-Reprogramming Toolkit + Offerings: Available via her website
Live Event: Building Attunement For Her (2nd Run – April 3)

🔗 Resources + Links
Follow the podcast: Beyond Mommy Dearest
Work with Noelani: www.beyondmommydearest.com
Follow the instagrm: https://www.instagram.com/beyondmommydearest/

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