In this episode of Behind Beliefs, Behaviors and the Brain, the conversation looks at how words can shift meaning and change the tone of a relationship. It covers common moments when what was said gets twisted, when tone sends a different message, or when boundaries are turned into something uncomfortable.

I also explain why these moments are often felt before they can be clearly named and offers simple ways to respond. Grounded in trauma-informed communication, this is a thoughtful listen for anyone who wants clearer, calmer conversations, one conversation at a time.

Key Takeaways:

When Words Are Turned Against You - Sometimes manipulation doesn’t look loud or obvious. It can show up when someone takes what you said and quietly changes its meaning, whether on purpose or through their own filters and biases.

The Slippery Slope of Twisted Words - Sometimes people take a simple statement and turn it into something you never said. This kind of thinking, often called a slippery slope, changes the meaning of your words and can quickly turn a normal conversation into conflict.

The Hidden Way Tone Can Turn Your Words into Weapons - Your exact words can be repeated back to you, but the tone changes everything. A calm boundary or simple request can come back sounding sarcastic, sharp, or dismissive.

The Real Message Behind How It’s Said - Only a small part of communication is the words themselves. Most of what we understand comes from tone, body language, and context.

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Facebook: www.facebook.com/DrMaiysha

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Hosted by: Dr. Maiysha Clairborne

Communication is the foundation of everything and everything happens in communication. If you’re ready to take your communication to the next level, our Communication That Transforms course dives deep into creating psychological safety, handling crucial conversations, navigating conflict, and cultivating trust in a way that truly leaves the people in your life feeling seen, heard, respected and valued. It will transform how you lead and how you show up in all of your relationships . Learn more and register at www.mindremappingacademy.com/ticc. If you are a leader and your employees or teams are struggling with team dynamics, consider taking them through our new “Communications That Transforms” group cohort.

See the full course breakdown and get a free preview of key modules to experience the value. Go to https://mindremappingacademy.com/course-catalogue and schedule a call with Dr. Clairborne at www.mindremappingacademy.com/corporate-programs

In this episode of Behind Beliefs, Behaviors, and the Brain, I explore how joy, love, and connection shape the way we communicate, especially in uncertain and stressful times. Using the Super Bowl halftime show as a real-world example, I unpack why only a small part of communication is about words and how our nervous system responds to what we see, feel, and experience. I also share why being intentional about what we consume mentally matters, how joy and laughter build resilience, and what it looks like to lead from love without losing boundaries or accountability. Tune in to learn practical ways to cultivate trust, strengthen relationships, and bring more humanity into your leadership and everyday life.

Key Takeaways:

Only 20% Is Words – The halftime show sparked a lot of conversation about language, but it highlighted something deeper about how communication really works. Most of what we communicate happens through presence, emotion, and meaning, not just words. Even without saying it directly, the performance conveyed a message of love, community, and hope, reminding us that what we show often speaks louder than what we say.

Why Accessing Joy Builds Resilience – When the world feels chaotic and filled with painful events, connection helps, but joy and love matter just as much. They help us hold onto our strength and stay grounded in uncertain and frightening times. Moments of celebration, community, family, and shared history can communicate hope and meaning without needing many words, reminding us that resilience is often built through what we choose to lift up and celebrate.

Choosing Joy on Purpose – We cannot ignore what is happening in the world, but we also need to intentionally look for small wins, bright spots, and reasons to celebrate. Just like physical health depends on what we consume, our resilience and mental well-being are shaped by what we take in, and joy and laughter play a powerful role in helping the nervous system recover from stress and trauma.

Helpful Resources

• Leading with Joy and Boundaries – Many leaders feel pressure to stay serious all the time, especially when things feel heavy or uncertain. But teams are shaped by what leaders consistently allow and model, including what they mentally and emotionally consume. Being intentional about creating small moments of joy, offering genuine acknowledgment, and still keeping clear boundaries helps build trust, safety, and resilience without losing accountability.

• Balancing Accountability and Joy in Leadership – Strong leadership is not just about metrics, boundaries, and seriousness, but also about being intentional with joy, acknowledgment, and leading from love. When leaders learn to hold both at the same time, teams become more trusting, safer, and more resilient, creating cultures where people can perform well without losing their humanity.

Follow Dr. Maiysha on Social media

Facebook: www.facebook.com/DrMaiysha

Instagram: www.instagram.com/DrMaiysha

YouTube: www.YouTube.com/DrMaiysha

Hosted by: Dr. Maiysha Clairborne

Communication is the foundation of everything and everything happens in communication. If you’re ready to take your communication to the next level, our Communication That Transforms course dives deep into creating psychological safety, handling crucial conversations, navigating conflict, and cultivating trust in a way that truly leaves the people in your life feeling seen, heard, respected and valued. It will transform how you lead and how you show up in all of your relationships . Learn more and register at www.mindremappingacademy.com/ticc. If you are a leader and your employees or teams are struggling with team dynamics, consider taking them through our new “Communications That Transforms” group cohort.

See the full course breakdown and get a free preview of key modules to experience the value. Go to https://mindremappingacademy.com/course-catalogue and schedule a call with Dr. Clairborne at www.mindremappingacademy.com/corporate-programs

As I continue revisiting trauma and the many ways it shows up in our lives, this conversation focuses on how trauma can influence the roles we unconsciously step into during moments of stress, conflict, or emotional threat. The persecutor. The victim. The rescuer.

These roles are not personality traits. They are learned survival strategies. And when we are under pressure, especially when our nervous system is activated, we can default to one of these roles without awareness.

In this episode, I unpack how the Drama Triangle shows up in families, friendships, workplaces, and teams, how these roles shift depending on context, and why these dynamics can be retraumatizing when they go unnamed. I also share how awareness, emotional regulation, and intentional communication can help us step out of these patterns and move toward repair and healing.

The roles of persecutor, victim, and rescuer emerge when the nervous system perceives threat. These roles are often learned early and reinforced over time, especially in environments where safety, attunement, or accountability were inconsistent.

You may occupy different roles in different relationships. Someone who feels victimized in one environment may become a persecutor in another. These shifts often happen automatically when emotional regulation is low.

When trauma goes unaddressed, the Drama Triangle can become a default pattern. We carry it from relationship to relationship, workplace to workplace, unless we become aware of it.

Before the mind has words, the body signals what is happening. Tension, urgency, defensiveness, or shutdown are often the first clues that we are being pulled into the triangle.

Rescuing may feel helpful, but it can reinforce dependency and prevent accountability. Stepping back is sometimes the most supportive and regulated response.

We cannot change a pattern we do not recognize. Naming the dynamic internally or out loud creates space for choice rather than reaction.

• Recognizing the Triangle in Everyday Interactions - Pay attention to moments when you feel compelled to fix, blame, defend, or withdraw. These urges often signal that a role is being activated.
• Stepping Out Instead of Playing Along - Breaking the triangle does not require confrontation. It requires awareness, regulation, and the willingness to respond differently than you normally would.
• Repair Requires Emotional Regulation - True repair can only happen when the nervous system is regulated enough to engage honestly. Slowing down allows for reflection, accountability, and behavioral adaptation.

Facebook: www.facebook.com/DrMaiysha

Instagram: www.instagram.com/DrMaiysha

Youtube: www.YouTube.com/DrMaiysha

Hosted by: Dr. Maiysha Clairborne

Communication is the foundation of everything and everything happens in communication. If you’re ready to take your communication to the next level, our Communication That Transforms course dives deep into creating psychological safety, handling crucial conversations, navigating conflict, and cultivating trust in a way that truly leaves the people in your life feeling seen, heard, respected and valued. It will transform how you lead and how you show up in all of your relationships . Learn more and register at www.mindremappingacademy.com/ticc. If you are a leader and your employees or teams are struggling with team dynamics, consider taking them through our new “Communications That Transforms” group cohort.

See the full course breakdown and get a free preview of key modules to experience the value. Go to https://mindremappingacademy.com/course-catalogue and schedule a call with Dr. Clairborne at www.mindremappingacademy.com/corporate-programs

As we begin a new year that often focuses on hope and forward movement, I talk about the global and personal grief many people are carrying beneath the surface and share why allowing grief is important for our emotional and nervous system health. We also explore how joy and gratitude can coexist with grief, and how community- and trauma-informed communication supports us through complex emotions.

Tune in for an honest conversation about allowing your feelings and staying connected one conversation at a time.

Key Takeaways

Grief Is Present Even in Fresh Starts There is a shared global grief many people are carrying beneath the surface. This grief includes both tangible losses and the loss of expectations about how life and the world were supposed to look. Acknowledging this reality allows for a more honest and grounded way to move into a new season.

Multiple Truths Can Exist at the Same Time Grief is complex and rarely exists on its own. It can live alongside gratitude, hope, and moments of peace. Recognizing both the pain of what is happening in the world and the bright spots found in community, purpose, and connection allows for a more balanced and grounded emotional experience.

Acknowledging Both Grief and Gratitude Matters Grief often comes with questions of purpose, responsibility, and whether we are doing enough, especially in uncertain times. At the same time, gratitude for relationships, meaningful work, and moments of connection can still exist. Recognizing both prevents emotional guilt and supports well-being, reminding us that joy and gratitude do not diminish grief but help sustain us through it.

Community and Support Matter at Every Level Identifying who can support you during emotional lows is essential. Sometimes community is enough, and sometimes additional support from a coach, therapist, or other trained professional is needed. Allowing all emotions to be present and sharing them with safe people strengthens emotional intelligence and creates space for healing. Vulnerability with trusted support is not weakness; it is part of how people move through difficult seasons.

Follow Dr. Maiysha on Social media

Facebook: www.facebook.com/DrMaiysha

Instagram: www.instagram.com/DrMaiysha

Youtube: www.YouTube.com/DrMaiysha

Hosted by: Dr. Maiysha Clairborne

Communication is the foundation of everything and everything happens in communication. If you’re ready to take your communication to the next level, our Communication That Transforms course dives deep into creating psychological safety, handling crucial conversations, navigating conflict, and cultivating trust in a way that truly leaves the people in your life feeling seen, heard, respected and valued. It will transform how you lead and how you show up in all of your relationships . Learn more and register at www.mindremappingacademy.com/ticc. If you are a leader and your employees or teams are struggling with team dynamics, consider taking them through our new “Communications That Transforms” group cohort.

See the full course breakdown and get a free preview of key modules to experience the value. Go to https://mindremappingacademy.com/course-catalogue and schedule a call with Dr. Clairborne at www.mindremappingacademy.com/corporate-programs

Episode Description:

In this episode of Behind Beliefs, Behaviors, and the Brain, I reflect on the role of completion and new beginnings as we close out a year and look ahead. Instead of focusing on resolutions, I explore how endings in relationships, work, and seasons of life invite reflection, emotional awareness, and growth.

I share why honoring what worked, what did not, and who you became matters as much as setting intentions for what comes next. Tune in to learn how reflection, repair, and intentional practice can help you move forward with clarity and purpose.

Key Takeaways:

Completion Holds Both Grief and Possibility - Completion often brings grief and uncertainty, but it also opens the door to what comes next. When you honor what is ending and reflect on what worked, you create space for growth, clarity, and new possibilities to take shape.

Healthy Respect Comes from Reflection - Taking time to reflect helps us see not just what happened, but how we showed up along the way. Acknowledging what worked and honoring who you became builds respect for your own growth, even when the outcome was not perfect. Top of FormBottom of Form

Emotions Move in Waves, Not Timelines - Change often brings endings and beginnings at the same time, and that mix can stir excitement, grief, and uncertainty all at once. Emotions rise and fall like waves, and they cannot be rushed or controlled. Emotional awareness, flexibility, and courage allow you to name what you feel, honor it, and move through transitions without blocking joy in what is beginning.

Model the Future Through Repair - New beginnings are shaped by how you close what came before. Reflecting on what worked and what did not, taking responsibility for harm, and engaging in repair allows you to model the behaviors, values, and relationships you want to carry forward. Repair is not weakness. It is a courageous practice that creates healthier foundations for what comes next.

Helpful Resources:

• Progress Grows Through Practice, Not Perfection - Every new beginning invites a beginner’s mindset. Growth happens through practice, small consistent actions, and ongoing learning, not by getting everything right. When you give yourself grace and honor your humanity, even small efforts can lead to meaningful progress and lasting change.

• Accountability Sustains Growth - Clarity about what you are committed to is strengthened through accountability. Trusted partners help reflect who you are becoming, support your growth, and remind you to care for yourself along the way. Accountability is not about pressure. It is about shared responsibility that keeps progress moving, even when the pace is slow.

• Intentional Reflection Helps Remap the Future - Pausing to reflect on endings and beginnings allows you to reset direction, clarify priorities, and intentionally shape what comes next instead of repeating old patterns.

Follow Dr. Maiysha on Social media

Facebook: www.facebook.com/DrMaiysha Instagram: www.instagram.com/DrMaiysha YouTube: www.YouTube.com/DrMaiysha

Hosted by: Dr. Maiysha Clairborne

Communication is the foundation of everything and everything happens in communication. If you’re ready to take your communication to the next level, our Communication That Transforms course dives deep into creating psychological safety, handling crucial conversations, navigating conflict, and cultivating trust in a way that truly leaves the people in your life feeling seen, heard, respected and valued. It will transform how you lead and how you show up in all of your relationships. Learn more and register at www.mindremappingacademy.com/ticc. If you are a leader and your employees or teams are struggling with team dynamics, consider taking them through our new “Communications That Transforms” group cohort.

See the full course breakdown and get a free preview of key modules to experience the value. Go to https://mindremappingacademy.com/course-catalogue and schedule a call with Dr. Clairborne at www.mindremappingacademy.com/corporate-programs

In this episode of Behind Beliefs, Behaviors, and the Brain, I talk about why honoring your feelings does not mean letting them run your life. Through lessons from my trip to Japan, I share how frustration, setbacks, and unexpected moments can be met with intention, perspective, and even laughter.

I also explain why choosing joy and play is a form of regulation, not avoidance, and how it helps us stay engaged, clear, and effective in our relationships, leadership, and daily responsibilities when the world feels heavy. Tune in to learn how to make space for your feelings while still protecting your capacity for joy and purpose.

Key Takeaways:

Lemonade and Laughter Require Choice – Joy and connection do not just happen when life gets easier. Without intention and a deliberate mindset, frustration and worry often take over. Choosing to see the lessons in difficult moments and allowing space for laughter turns challenges into opportunities to learn, connect, and restore energy instead of letting circumstances dictate our experience.

Laughter Requires Intention – Life often puts us on tight timelines, with expectations and plans that don’t always go as expected. It’s easy to let frustration take over in these moments, but choosing to bring in laughter and perspective transforms how we experience challenges.

Protecting Joy Takes Intentionality – Feeling good doesn’t just happen, especially with all the stress and chaos around us. By creating intentional spaces at home, in our communities, and even in how we use social media, we can protect moments of joy and laughter. Honoring our feelings without letting them take over helps us stay present, clear, and able to show up fully in life.

Infusing Daily Life with Joy While Respecting Your Feelings – It’s possible to honor your emotions while also creating space for laughter and joy. Being intentional about noticing bright spots and carving out time for play helps you stay balanced and energized. Even if daily moments aren’t always possible, setting aside time once or twice a week can make a real difference.

Helpful Resources:

• Joy Requires Intentional Spaces – Joy and laughter don’t just happen automatically. Creating intentional spaces at home, in communities, or even online allows us to access moments of play and connection, even during busy or stressful times.

• Accessing Joy Supports Giving – Experiencing joy isn’t ignoring challenges. It’s a form of restoration that helps us continue to give, serve, and lead in every space, from advocacy and education to family and community care.

Follow Dr. Maiysha on Social media

Facebook: www.facebook.com/DrMaiysha

Instagram: www.instagram.com/DrMaiysha

YouTube: www.YouTube.com/DrMaiysha

Hosted by: Dr. Maiysha Clairborne

Communication is the foundation of everything and everything happens in communication. If you’re ready to take your communication to the next level, our Communication That Transforms course dives deep into creating psychological safety, handling crucial conversations, navigating conflict, and cultivating trust in a way that truly leaves the people in your life feeling seen, heard, respected and valued. It will transform how you lead and how you show up in all of your relationships. Learn more and register at www.mindremappingacademy.com/ticc. If you are a leader and your employees or teams are struggling with team dynamics, consider taking them through our new “Communications That Transforms” group cohort.

See the full course breakdown and get a free preview of key modules to experience the value. Go to https://mindremappingacademy.com/course-catalogue and schedule a call with Dr. Clairborne at www.mindremappingacademy.com/corporate-programs

In this episode of Behind Beliefs, Behaviors, and the Brain, I talk about why rest is not a luxury but essential for staying healthy, connected, and effective. Inspired by Dr. Sandra Dalton Smith’s book Sacred Rest, I break down the different kinds of rest we often miss and share real-life examples of how constant stimulation, emotional effort, and unplanned time can quietly drain us.

Tune in to learn how to recognize the rest you really need and set up simple routines that help rest become a regular and renewing part of your life, especially during the holiday season and beyond.

Key Takeaways:

Rest Requires Structure – Rest does not just happen when life slows down. Without intention and planning, rest is often the first thing sacrificed during busy seasons. Creating structure allows rest to become consistent instead of optional.

Rest is Multidimensional – True restoration goes beyond sleep or quiet time. Our minds and bodies need sensory, emotional, and social rest to recover from constant stimulation, emotional labor, and social demands. This kind of rest allows emotions to be felt and released, overstimulation to calm, and the nervous system to fully recharge.

The Power of Creative Rest - Creative work consumes significant mental energy, even when it feels fulfilling. Creative rest is not disengagement or laziness. It is the intentional pause that allows ideas to settle, integrate, and mature. Stepping away from active creation creates space for clarity, insight, and more sustainable creativity to emerge.

Structure Protects Your Rest - Rest requires intentional planning and structure. Without scheduling it, daily tasks and “just one more thing” moments can easily push rest aside, reducing its effectiveness and leaving us exhausted.

Helpful Resources:

• Spiritual Rest Requires a Flexible Structure - Spiritual rest looks different for everyone. It may be attending a place of fellowship or engaging in daily rituals like gratitude writing or yoga. The key is to recognize your structure for spiritual connection and allow flexibility, balancing alone time and community practice to feel replenished.

• Rest Doesn’t Always Require Complex Routines - Stepping outside into nature, wandering through a store, or immersing yourself in music can provide mental, creative, and even spiritual rest. The key is to recognize what helps you recharge, have it ready, and intentionally create dedicated time to step away and rest.

• Be Intentional About Your Rest - To truly benefit from rest, start by asking yourself what you need and which types of rest will serve you best. Identify the tools or practices that support that rest, implement them consistently, and create disciplined structures, like an accountability partner, to ensure you follow through, not just for the holidays but for the year ahead.

Resources Mentioned: https://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Rest-Recover-Energy-Restore/dp/1478921676

Follow Dr. Maiysha on Social media

Facebook: www.facebook.com/DrMaiysha

Instagram: www.instagram.com/DrMaiysha

YouTube: www.YouTube.com/DrMaiysha

Hosted by: Dr. Maiysha Clairborne

Communication is the foundation of everything and everything happens in communication. If you’re ready to take your communication to the next level, our Communication That Transforms course dives deep into creating psychological safety, handling crucial conversations, navigating conflict, and cultivating trust in a way that truly leaves the people in your life feeling seen, heard, respected and valued. It will transform how you lead and how you show up in all of your relationships . Learn more and register at www.mindremappingacademy.com/ticc. If you are a leader and your employees or teams are struggling with team dynamics, consider taking them through our new “Communications That Transforms” group cohort.