In this episode of Behind Beliefs, Behaviors and the Brain, the conversation looks at how words can shift meaning and change the tone of a relationship. It covers common moments when what was said gets twisted, when tone sends a different message, or when boundaries are turned into something uncomfortable.

I also explain why these moments are often felt before they can be clearly named and offers simple ways to respond. Grounded in trauma-informed communication, this is a thoughtful listen for anyone who wants clearer, calmer conversations, one conversation at a time.

Key Takeaways:

When Words Are Turned Against You - Sometimes manipulation doesn’t look loud or obvious. It can show up when someone takes what you said and quietly changes its meaning, whether on purpose or through their own filters and biases.

The Slippery Slope of Twisted Words - Sometimes people take a simple statement and turn it into something you never said. This kind of thinking, often called a slippery slope, changes the meaning of your words and can quickly turn a normal conversation into conflict.

The Hidden Way Tone Can Turn Your Words into Weapons - Your exact words can be repeated back to you, but the tone changes everything. A calm boundary or simple request can come back sounding sarcastic, sharp, or dismissive.

The Real Message Behind How It’s Said - Only a small part of communication is the words themselves. Most of what we understand comes from tone, body language, and context.

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Hosted by: Dr. Maiysha Clairborne

Communication is the foundation of everything and everything happens in communication. If you’re ready to take your communication to the next level, our Communication That Transforms course dives deep into creating psychological safety, handling crucial conversations, navigating conflict, and cultivating trust in a way that truly leaves the people in your life feeling seen, heard, respected and valued. It will transform how you lead and how you show up in all of your relationships . Learn more and register at www.mindremappingacademy.com/ticc. If you are a leader and your employees or teams are struggling with team dynamics, consider taking them through our new “Communications That Transforms” group cohort.

See the full course breakdown and get a free preview of key modules to experience the value. Go to https://mindremappingacademy.com/course-catalogue and schedule a call with Dr. Clairborne at www.mindremappingacademy.com/corporate-programs

In this episode of Behind Beliefs, Behaviors, and the Brain, I explore how joy, love, and connection shape the way we communicate, especially in uncertain and stressful times. Using the Super Bowl halftime show as a real-world example, I unpack why only a small part of communication is about words and how our nervous system responds to what we see, feel, and experience. I also share why being intentional about what we consume mentally matters, how joy and laughter build resilience, and what it looks like to lead from love without losing boundaries or accountability. Tune in to learn practical ways to cultivate trust, strengthen relationships, and bring more humanity into your leadership and everyday life.

Key Takeaways:

Only 20% Is Words – The halftime show sparked a lot of conversation about language, but it highlighted something deeper about how communication really works. Most of what we communicate happens through presence, emotion, and meaning, not just words. Even without saying it directly, the performance conveyed a message of love, community, and hope, reminding us that what we show often speaks louder than what we say.

Why Accessing Joy Builds Resilience – When the world feels chaotic and filled with painful events, connection helps, but joy and love matter just as much. They help us hold onto our strength and stay grounded in uncertain and frightening times. Moments of celebration, community, family, and shared history can communicate hope and meaning without needing many words, reminding us that resilience is often built through what we choose to lift up and celebrate.

Choosing Joy on Purpose – We cannot ignore what is happening in the world, but we also need to intentionally look for small wins, bright spots, and reasons to celebrate. Just like physical health depends on what we consume, our resilience and mental well-being are shaped by what we take in, and joy and laughter play a powerful role in helping the nervous system recover from stress and trauma.

Helpful Resources

• Leading with Joy and Boundaries – Many leaders feel pressure to stay serious all the time, especially when things feel heavy or uncertain. But teams are shaped by what leaders consistently allow and model, including what they mentally and emotionally consume. Being intentional about creating small moments of joy, offering genuine acknowledgment, and still keeping clear boundaries helps build trust, safety, and resilience without losing accountability.

• Balancing Accountability and Joy in Leadership – Strong leadership is not just about metrics, boundaries, and seriousness, but also about being intentional with joy, acknowledgment, and leading from love. When leaders learn to hold both at the same time, teams become more trusting, safer, and more resilient, creating cultures where people can perform well without losing their humanity.

Follow Dr. Maiysha on Social media

Facebook: www.facebook.com/DrMaiysha

Instagram: www.instagram.com/DrMaiysha

YouTube: www.YouTube.com/DrMaiysha

Hosted by: Dr. Maiysha Clairborne

Communication is the foundation of everything and everything happens in communication. If you’re ready to take your communication to the next level, our Communication That Transforms course dives deep into creating psychological safety, handling crucial conversations, navigating conflict, and cultivating trust in a way that truly leaves the people in your life feeling seen, heard, respected and valued. It will transform how you lead and how you show up in all of your relationships . Learn more and register at www.mindremappingacademy.com/ticc. If you are a leader and your employees or teams are struggling with team dynamics, consider taking them through our new “Communications That Transforms” group cohort.

See the full course breakdown and get a free preview of key modules to experience the value. Go to https://mindremappingacademy.com/course-catalogue and schedule a call with Dr. Clairborne at www.mindremappingacademy.com/corporate-programs

As I continue revisiting trauma and the many ways it shows up in our lives, this conversation focuses on how trauma can influence the roles we unconsciously step into during moments of stress, conflict, or emotional threat. The persecutor. The victim. The rescuer.

These roles are not personality traits. They are learned survival strategies. And when we are under pressure, especially when our nervous system is activated, we can default to one of these roles without awareness.

In this episode, I unpack how the Drama Triangle shows up in families, friendships, workplaces, and teams, how these roles shift depending on context, and why these dynamics can be retraumatizing when they go unnamed. I also share how awareness, emotional regulation, and intentional communication can help us step out of these patterns and move toward repair and healing.

The roles of persecutor, victim, and rescuer emerge when the nervous system perceives threat. These roles are often learned early and reinforced over time, especially in environments where safety, attunement, or accountability were inconsistent.

You may occupy different roles in different relationships. Someone who feels victimized in one environment may become a persecutor in another. These shifts often happen automatically when emotional regulation is low.

When trauma goes unaddressed, the Drama Triangle can become a default pattern. We carry it from relationship to relationship, workplace to workplace, unless we become aware of it.

Before the mind has words, the body signals what is happening. Tension, urgency, defensiveness, or shutdown are often the first clues that we are being pulled into the triangle.

Rescuing may feel helpful, but it can reinforce dependency and prevent accountability. Stepping back is sometimes the most supportive and regulated response.

We cannot change a pattern we do not recognize. Naming the dynamic internally or out loud creates space for choice rather than reaction.

• Recognizing the Triangle in Everyday Interactions - Pay attention to moments when you feel compelled to fix, blame, defend, or withdraw. These urges often signal that a role is being activated.
• Stepping Out Instead of Playing Along - Breaking the triangle does not require confrontation. It requires awareness, regulation, and the willingness to respond differently than you normally would.
• Repair Requires Emotional Regulation - True repair can only happen when the nervous system is regulated enough to engage honestly. Slowing down allows for reflection, accountability, and behavioral adaptation.

Facebook: www.facebook.com/DrMaiysha

Instagram: www.instagram.com/DrMaiysha

Youtube: www.YouTube.com/DrMaiysha

Hosted by: Dr. Maiysha Clairborne

Communication is the foundation of everything and everything happens in communication. If you’re ready to take your communication to the next level, our Communication That Transforms course dives deep into creating psychological safety, handling crucial conversations, navigating conflict, and cultivating trust in a way that truly leaves the people in your life feeling seen, heard, respected and valued. It will transform how you lead and how you show up in all of your relationships . Learn more and register at www.mindremappingacademy.com/ticc. If you are a leader and your employees or teams are struggling with team dynamics, consider taking them through our new “Communications That Transforms” group cohort.

See the full course breakdown and get a free preview of key modules to experience the value. Go to https://mindremappingacademy.com/course-catalogue and schedule a call with Dr. Clairborne at www.mindremappingacademy.com/corporate-programs