This week on Beat Motel, Andrew relives his childhood by rolling down Ed Sheeran’s hill into a pile of dog muck, and Dr. Sam reveals he’s spent more time chasing cheese than dignity. Somewhere along the way, they accidentally remember this is supposed to be a music podcast.

The theme? Cats. That’s it. Not subtle. Not deep. Just cats. From SpongeBob’s snail-pet Gary to the purring sleaze of Queen’s “Cool Cat,” we dig into feline-inspired tunes like they’re buried in a litter tray.

Expect:

• A semi-academic breakdown of The Cure’s “Lovecats”

• A loving rant about Citric Dummies reviving Dr. Sam’s faith in punk

• The Stray Cats (who aren’t British, but fooled us all)

• Psychobilly hair, ska that doesn’t suck, and why Jules Holland might secretly be a dog person

• A jazz track from 1931 that the BBC had to rename because it was “too rude” (spoiler: it wasn’t about a cat, but we’re pretending it was)

Andrew’s website gets cyber-attacked mid-show (presumably by a Japanese feline overlord), and we waste far too much time translating song titles through every Nordic and Baltic language available. We also discover the only way to pick a cat from a rehoming café is to let it slap you in the face.

It’s a mess. It’s musical. It’s got Matt Berry rubbing a snail on his face. It’s Beat Motel at its most confusingly brilliant.

### Riffs of the week

#### Dr Sam's Riff

- Citric Dummies - I Am Your Napkin

#### Andrew's Riff

- vildhjarta - + byta ut alla stjärnor på himlen mot plustecken +

### Dr Sam's track choices

1. Spongebob - Gary's Song

2. Stray Cats - Stray Cat Strut

3. Queen - Cool Cat

4. Presidents of the United States of America - Kitty

### Andrew's track choices

1. The Cure - Love cats

2. Squeeze - Cool for cats

3. The Slackers - El Gato

4. Harry Roy & His Bat Club Boys - My girl's pussy

Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com

If you’ve ever wondered what a Finnish man in a bedroom with a broken keyboard sounds like, then you’re weird. But also in the right place. This week, Dr. Sam joins Andrew for a dive headfirst into the murky swamp of obscure music genres, where rules don’t matter and the cats are in charge.

Expect tangents galore: from liturgical black metal to folk electronica via squee (yes, it’s a thing), this episode is a chaotic tour of sounds you probably never asked for. There’s also rants about Winamp, philosophical crises over Adam Buxton’s new album, and an alarming amount of discussion about bodily functions—human and feline.

Other highlights:

• Discover why Primus are their own genre.

• Chatpile vs. Nick Cave (don’t @ us).

• The truth about the Super Mario cartoon theme.

• What happens when cats demand mid-podcast poo patrol.

• Childhood trauma via 70s UK sitcoms and cartoons.

So, whether you’re sickening for a new genre or just want to hear two middle-aged blokes descend into sonic madness, this episode will either enlighten or deeply confuse you. Either way, you’ll come out the other end feeling like you’ve learned something. Probably.

### Riffs of the week

#### Dr Sam's Riff

- Adam Buxton - Doing it Wrong (0.18)

#### Andrew's Riff

- Chatpile - Shame (2:24)

### Dr Sam's track choices

1. Primus - Restin' Bones (2.13)

2. Ana Lua Caiano - Ando Em Círculos (opening)

3. Thomas Ignatius - Sum qui sum (1.00)

4. Super Mario Rap (0.2)

### Andrew's track choices

1. Suicide - Ghost Rider (1:24) - No Wave

2. Eero Johannes - We Could Be Skweeeroes - Skweee

3. Batushka - Yekteniya I - Liturgical Black Metal

4. Phace - Hot Rock - Neurofunk

Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com

In this nostalgia-drenched episode of Beat Motel, Andrew Culture and voiceover man extraordinaire Martin Whiskin hurl themselves headfirst into the deep, murky swimming pool of school memories—and promptly slip on a Verucca sock.

Expect less of a structured discussion and more of a chaotic ramble through:

• Drinking out of pickle jars, Nutella jars, and possibly things we shouldn’t mention.

• Childhood trauma via public service announcements that were more “accidental snuff film” than “safety first.”

• Rollerskating on dodgem floors, fights over tractors, and smoking on tractors.

• The weird tribal warfare between grunge kids and ravers (spoiler: bomber jackets were tactical gear).

• And yes, a deep dive into why the f**k “Funkytown” played on a school jukebox every single day.

We also spin some musical back-to-school picks, featuring the Replacements, Pop Will Eat Itself, Ramones, Red Hot Chili Peppers (Martin is very sorry), Despond, and Ganja Kru. There’s even a serious attempt to connect jungle music to GCSE coursework. God help us.

Plus: We try to remember what Grange Hill was called, and forget everything else in the process.

This one’s for the misfits at the back of the classroom. Probably the only podcast episode where you’ll hear the A-Team theme, tales of aristocratic mastering engineers, and the sentence: “Did your mum ever bring home 200 dead man’s harmonicas?”

#### Marf's Riff

- Despondent - Confined

#### Andrew's Riff

- Blackbraid - And he become the burning stars

### Marf's track choices

1. Pop Will Eat Itself - Karmadrome

2. The A-Team TV Theme Tune

3. Red Hot Chili Peppers - They're Red Hot

4. Super Sharp Shooter - The Ganja Kru

### Andrew's track choices

1. The Replacements - Fuck School

2. Ski Sunday theme tune

3. The Ramones - Rock and roll high school

4. Lipps Inc. - Funkytown

Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com

Ever wondered what it's like to be whipped in the cobblers by a carbon fibre tent pole? No? Well, you’re about to. In this episode, Andrew returns to the studio and brings along Dr. Sam for a high-brow chat about testicular trauma, Trev & Simon, and the absolute best music to make your hips involuntarily wiggle like an over-caffeinated toddler.

The theme this week? Songs to swing your pants to. The result? A genre-skirting playlist filled with funkadelic basslines, ska-punk chaos, and whatever Clipping are doing (which might be witchcraft).

From George Clinton’s Moog-powered madness to the playful brilliance of Little Simz, from Missy Elliott in an inflatable suit to Dexys being much more than “Come On Eileen,” this episode jumps between groin injuries, nostalgia, street crossings turned flags (ffs), and musical elitism that would make a vinyl collector blush.

We also learn about ancient British tribes, the legitimacy of “potholes in lawns,” and how you can use “in Minecraft” to legally dodge confessions. It’s educational. Sort of. Mostly not.

### Riffs of the week

#### Dr Sam's Riff

- Barren Path - The Insufferable Weight

#### Andrew's Riff

- Clipping - Dominator

### Dr Sam's track choices

1. Thumpasaurus - Struttin'

2. Streetlight Manifesto - If and When We Rise

3. Dexy's Midnight Runners - Jackie Wilson Said

4. Little Richard - Keep A Knockin'

### Andrew's track choices

1. Everything Everything - Cough Cough

2. Missy Elliot - WTF (where you from)

3. Funkadelic - One Nation

4. Little Simz - 101fm

Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com

Elitists https://www.instagram.com/reel/DJwcMyToUUK/?igsh=MTR4dWFnOGR5anV5bw==

What is it about British summer holidays that brings out the absolute weirdest memories? Andrew Culture is joined by returning co-host and beard-stroking wordsmith Martin Whiskin for a full-tilt, memory-lane-meets-puke-stained-train episode about all things “Summer Holidays.”

We kick off with threats from Grotbags, traumatising pantos, and a deep dive into the bizarre puppetry obsession of '80s kids TV. From Bob Carolgees and Spit the Dog to the musical trauma inflicted by Orville, it's a warped nostalgia trip with the distinct smell of Dettol.

Expect riffs of the week that range from children’s YouTube bangers to industrial J-pop-metal chaos. Martin finds beauty in Down By Law’s one-minute face-punch punk, Therapy?’s surprise chart invasion, and the unlikely Shed Seven resurgence. Andrew counters with a romantic tale of vomit at the Steamboat pub, a Double Deckers TV theme tribute, and a Queens of the Stone Age song that’s basically just a shopping list of narcotics.

Also covered:

• Why Cliff Richard was in a bus with The Shadows

• How band advances don’t work

• Punk shows in Welsh working men’s clubs

• Why you never want to eat a dry roll with one slice of iceberg lettuce

• The fine art of projectile vomiting into jacket sleeves

If you’ve ever wanted a podcast episode that transitions seamlessly from 'Summer Holiday' by Cliff Richard to vomming on the tube while discussing Trash Theory’s Therapy? documentary, this is it.

Music, memories, mayhem. This is Beat Motel.

### Riffs of the week

#### Marf's Riff

- Danny Go - Gorilla Smash

#### Andrew's Riff

- BABYMETAL - from me to u feat. Poppy

### Marf's track choices

1. Blameless - Breathe a Little Deeper

2. Down by Law - Independence Day

3. Therapy? - Screamager

4. Shed Seven - Kissing California

### Andrew's track choices

1. Cliff Richard and The Shadows - Summer Holiday

2. Johnny Keating - Theme from the Double Deckers

3. The Jesus And Mary Chain - I Can't find The Time For Times

4. Queens of the Stone age - Feel good hit of the summer

Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com

Jesus and Mary Chain playlist https://tidal.com/playlist/5d9661ef-d473-477e-8e59-9c069d2b1267

Ever argued over who controls the aux cable on a long drive? In this episode of the Beat Motel Podcast, Andrew and Dr Sam dive into the tunes that keep them sane (or send them spiralling) on epic car journeys.

From Queen's Greatest Hits to post-metal tantrums, and from Pete Seeger’s calm reassurance to jazz-adjacent Icelandic loops, we dissect the soundtracks that power our road trips, intentional or accidental.

Expect ridiculous stories involving bargain-bin CDs, iPad vomit catchers, and why you should never, ever start a circle pit with only 12 people in the venue. Plus, we ask the big questions like: why is Disney music turning up at protests? And is clapping during a gig actually a war crime?

📌 Don’t miss a second, click play and take a long drive with us (from the safety of your headphones).

### Riffs of the week

#### Dr Sam's Riff

- Editrix - The Queen (opening)

#### Andrew's Riff

- GoGo Penguin - Umbra (1:30)

### Dr Sam's track choices

1. Harry Belafonte - Angelina (0.38)

2. Pete Seeger - Little Boxes (Live) (0.09)

3. Edvard Grieg - March of the Trolls, Op. 54 (2.18)

4. Queen - Somebody to Love (0.30)

### Andrew's track choices

1. Public Image Ltd - Careering (3:13)

2. Danger Man Theme Edwin Astley Orchestra (0:11)

3. Kiasmos - Looped (3:45)

4. Godspeed You Black Emperor - Like antennas to heaven (5:29)

Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com

In this special detour from our usual Beat Motel rambling, Andrew and Dr. Sam swap the studio for the chaos of Hellsinki Metal Festival (yes, with two Ls, because one L just isn’t metal enough). We navigate Finnish beer, dodge suspicious wrestling moves, and try to work out why 8% lager is even legal in a place with mosh pits.

Expect unfiltered commentary on bands like Kanonenfieber, Decapitated, and Fear Factory, plus on-the-ground insights into earplug economics, dungaree etiquette at metal gigs, and whether wrestling at a metal fest is meant to be taken seriously (spoiler: no). We also wonder why no other Brits seem to have worked out that Finnish festivals are cleaner, better run, and infinitely less likely to smell like a port-a-loo graveyard.

It’s loud, it’s wet, it’s metal, and it’s gloriously daft — just the way we like it.

This episode of the Beat Motel Podcast drops you into the sweaty, glorious middle of a music fundraiser that brought Bury St Edmunds together in the loudest way possible. I hit the Hunter Club and the town’s rehearsal rooms to catch a full day of DIY brilliance, chat with bands and scene-makers, and find out what happens when a town fights for its music spaces.

Whether you're into punk, indie, or just stories of people doing something real, this one’s for you. No fluff, no filler, just the kind of energy that keeps scenes alive and rehearsal rooms open.

📌 Featuring:

• Field recordings from the event

• Stories from bands and organisers

• Loud music and louder opinions

• Proof that local scenes still matter