This week on Beat Motel, Andrew relives his childhood by rolling down Ed Sheeran’s hill into a pile of dog muck, and Dr. Sam reveals he’s spent more time chasing cheese than dignity. Somewhere along the way, they accidentally remember this is supposed to be a music podcast.

The theme? Cats. That’s it. Not subtle. Not deep. Just cats. From SpongeBob’s snail-pet Gary to the purring sleaze of Queen’s “Cool Cat,” we dig into feline-inspired tunes like they’re buried in a litter tray.

Expect:

• A semi-academic breakdown of The Cure’s “Lovecats”

• A loving rant about Citric Dummies reviving Dr. Sam’s faith in punk

• The Stray Cats (who aren’t British, but fooled us all)

• Psychobilly hair, ska that doesn’t suck, and why Jules Holland might secretly be a dog person

• A jazz track from 1931 that the BBC had to rename because it was “too rude” (spoiler: it wasn’t about a cat, but we’re pretending it was)

Andrew’s website gets cyber-attacked mid-show (presumably by a Japanese feline overlord), and we waste far too much time translating song titles through every Nordic and Baltic language available. We also discover the only way to pick a cat from a rehoming café is to let it slap you in the face.

It’s a mess. It’s musical. It’s got Matt Berry rubbing a snail on his face. It’s Beat Motel at its most confusingly brilliant.

### Riffs of the week

#### Dr Sam's Riff

- Citric Dummies - I Am Your Napkin

#### Andrew's Riff

- vildhjarta - + byta ut alla stjärnor på himlen mot plustecken +

### Dr Sam's track choices

1. Spongebob - Gary's Song

2. Stray Cats - Stray Cat Strut

3. Queen - Cool Cat

4. Presidents of the United States of America - Kitty

### Andrew's track choices

1. The Cure - Love cats

2. Squeeze - Cool for cats

3. The Slackers - El Gato

4. Harry Roy & His Bat Club Boys - My girl's pussy

Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com

If you’ve ever wondered what a Finnish man in a bedroom with a broken keyboard sounds like, then you’re weird. But also in the right place. This week, Dr. Sam joins Andrew for a dive headfirst into the murky swamp of obscure music genres, where rules don’t matter and the cats are in charge.

Expect tangents galore: from liturgical black metal to folk electronica via squee (yes, it’s a thing), this episode is a chaotic tour of sounds you probably never asked for. There’s also rants about Winamp, philosophical crises over Adam Buxton’s new album, and an alarming amount of discussion about bodily functions—human and feline.

Other highlights:

• Discover why Primus are their own genre.

• Chatpile vs. Nick Cave (don’t @ us).

• The truth about the Super Mario cartoon theme.

• What happens when cats demand mid-podcast poo patrol.

• Childhood trauma via 70s UK sitcoms and cartoons.

So, whether you’re sickening for a new genre or just want to hear two middle-aged blokes descend into sonic madness, this episode will either enlighten or deeply confuse you. Either way, you’ll come out the other end feeling like you’ve learned something. Probably.

### Riffs of the week

#### Dr Sam's Riff

- Adam Buxton - Doing it Wrong (0.18)

#### Andrew's Riff

- Chatpile - Shame (2:24)

### Dr Sam's track choices

1. Primus - Restin' Bones (2.13)

2. Ana Lua Caiano - Ando Em Círculos (opening)

3. Thomas Ignatius - Sum qui sum (1.00)

4. Super Mario Rap (0.2)

### Andrew's track choices

1. Suicide - Ghost Rider (1:24) - No Wave

2. Eero Johannes - We Could Be Skweeeroes - Skweee

3. Batushka - Yekteniya I - Liturgical Black Metal

4. Phace - Hot Rock - Neurofunk

Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com

In this nostalgia-drenched episode of Beat Motel, Andrew Culture and voiceover man extraordinaire Martin Whiskin hurl themselves headfirst into the deep, murky swimming pool of school memories—and promptly slip on a Verucca sock.

Expect less of a structured discussion and more of a chaotic ramble through:

• Drinking out of pickle jars, Nutella jars, and possibly things we shouldn’t mention.

• Childhood trauma via public service announcements that were more “accidental snuff film” than “safety first.”

• Rollerskating on dodgem floors, fights over tractors, and smoking on tractors.

• The weird tribal warfare between grunge kids and ravers (spoiler: bomber jackets were tactical gear).

• And yes, a deep dive into why the f**k “Funkytown” played on a school jukebox every single day.

We also spin some musical back-to-school picks, featuring the Replacements, Pop Will Eat Itself, Ramones, Red Hot Chili Peppers (Martin is very sorry), Despond, and Ganja Kru. There’s even a serious attempt to connect jungle music to GCSE coursework. God help us.

Plus: We try to remember what Grange Hill was called, and forget everything else in the process.

This one’s for the misfits at the back of the classroom. Probably the only podcast episode where you’ll hear the A-Team theme, tales of aristocratic mastering engineers, and the sentence: “Did your mum ever bring home 200 dead man’s harmonicas?”

#### Marf's Riff

- Despondent - Confined

#### Andrew's Riff

- Blackbraid - And he become the burning stars

### Marf's track choices

1. Pop Will Eat Itself - Karmadrome

2. The A-Team TV Theme Tune

3. Red Hot Chili Peppers - They're Red Hot

4. Super Sharp Shooter - The Ganja Kru

### Andrew's track choices

1. The Replacements - Fuck School

2. Ski Sunday theme tune

3. The Ramones - Rock and roll high school

4. Lipps Inc. - Funkytown

Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com