• Autism, Neurodiversity, 3 Poems... 3 Rando Manifestos

  • Feb 5 2025
  • Duración: 15 m
  • Podcast

Autism, Neurodiversity, 3 Poems... 3 Rando Manifestos

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  • Cold OpenI was not born to be pitied. I was born to raise Hell. Autistic style.IntroYou’re listening to AutisticAF Out Loud. One voice. Raw. Real. Fiercely Neurodivergent. Since 1953.Season 5, Episode 4. Breaking mirrors, dancing at the edge of noise, raising autistic hell. Autism, Neurodiversity, 3 Poems... and 3 Rando Manifestos. Just one autistic elder's truth. I'm Johnny Profane.Content Note: trauma, sexual assault, self-harm, rage, transformative therapy moments + experiences & opinions of one autistic voice… 71.[Music]1953.Manifesto #1I was Born Autistic. Not to be Fixed…I'm autistic. Born 1953.I was not a product of a vaccine.I was not a product of a disease. Mental or physical.I was not a mistake. Genetic or epigenetic.I was not born to be fixed by CBT, pill or chip.I was not born to be pitied.I was born to raise Hell. Autistic style.[Music]The static never stops.Poem #1Dancing Close to the Edge of the Noise#AskingAuDHDists…bear with me a minute.I'm autistic+ADHD.71.i feel likea brilliant creative soulas if…trapped in a damaged body& neurologytrying to communicatewith the worldthrough an intermittentlyshort-circuiting transistor radioplaying through static& the distortion& sparking circuits…to just be heard.do you understand at all what I mean?#ActuallyAutistic #ADHD #ReallyAuDHD[Music]Sometimes? The mask slips…Poem #2AFTER THE SECRETI have strengths.Not one is my superpower.I have challenges.Not one is my kryptonite.I'm that kid in third gradeDrop drop DroppingA mysterious blue crystalInto that test tube—Squealing in delightEvery time it explodes…In purple streams.I love cosplay.But I don’t have to flyWear a maskOr sport a capeTo be autistic.Still…I get to be the heroor bald evil geniusof my own life.[Music]Neurodivergent life… twists different.Manifesto #2My Autistic Life: Mebbe a Little Zelig. Mebbe a Bit Forest Gump. But All Me.Sharing our Neurodivergent stories is powerful.I was born before autism was invented… More or less. 1953.Been a meditation teacher,cult member,magazine publisher,ad agency owner,non-profit activist,3-time grad student3-time husband,homeless,mental health counselor,substance abuse counselor,cult counselor,homeless,fast-food clerk,Pretend Rock Star,homeless…I’ve bantered with Bill Gates.Felt stupid in front of Bill Joy.Touched the Maharishi.Stumbled on Keith HaringJumping turnstiles in the subway…But…I met anonymous geniusesin cubicles,bull penstrailer parks,on the street…This is not my idle boast. This is my earnest promise. Ask the neurodivergent in front of you…Have they got stories to tell you. Genius touches every life. Of every 'type. If you can perceive it.So.I have no credentials to offer. At least none that matters to me... anymore.So I offer my life. My autistic life. Hoping better for our kids.Because if nothing changes…Content Note: Discussion of trauma statistics and sexual assaultOver 80% of them will experience trauma in their life. Interpersonal violence, bullying, sensory trauma, emotional abuse, and systemic discrimination. Nearly three times higher than average. And many autistic individuals experience multiple types of trauma concurrently.Just as I did in the 1950s. Bullying by classmates & teachers. Physical attacks on the playgrounds. Sexual attack in the park. And in the home,Trauma not from neurodivergence. Trauma from how modern society treats the neurodivergent.[Music]That clean, polite, clinical phrase… “trauma?” It has a personal face, a personal moment in every neurodivergent life.This is mine.Session #137. When memory breaks.Poem #3The Body Abides"Like I told youNothing really happenedCan't sleep is all…."He repeats his view,"The body watches.The body ALWAYSFucking watches.""Yeah, he kissed meFathers do that.Yeah, it was weird but…."He whispers me,"Your body, your witness.And this witness ALWAYSFucking watches."Then he leans in…"What if he'd kissedyour sister's lips…?""I'd fucking kill him."That's when…i see mein his mirrorwatching myselfwatch my selftransparently autistica son no more,yet the body…abides.ragedark rageScreaming RAGEi'd fucking kill himfucking kill himkill himHim.i rise…soslowlyand fucking smash that mirrori rock, i sway…i rub one red eye.i stand, I stare…I sigh, I say,"My body watchesThe body ALWAYSFucking watches…,"As I close his office door…I abide.[Music]Decades later. Still raising hell.Manifesto #3Now… About That Autistic Hell We Was Talking about Raising…We ask awkward questions. And find new answers.We see different. Make electrifying connections.We feel patterns. To larger truths.We are passionateWe adapt.Survive.Disrupt.Transform…Raising a fat middle fingerTo normal.Now, that’s the kinda hell… I’m talking about raising.How’s about neurodivergent you?One last thing…be proud.be proud you're autistic.be proud you're alive.despite everything people and nature...life...threw at you...you're still breathing.you’re still breathing…no ...
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