PDA is the Persistent Drive for Autonomy (community term), or pathological demand avoidance (clinical & pathologizing term). What happens when PDA, ADHD, and autism all overlap? Well... stress and relationship challenges!

Thankfully, everything that helped me feel more safe has also made my PDA more manageable. There are many approaches to build that safety.

This episode is a follow-up to the interview on PDA last week

1. Book Low-Demand Parenting by Amanda Diekman (affiliate link)
2. Last week's interview on PDA, and the podcast PDA: Resistance and Resilience
3. Mattia's bday (or whenever) wish list

1. Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)
2. Mattia's Newsletter
3. Like Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)

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It's been a running joke (that wasn't initially a joke) that I'm totally going to do a PDA episode very soon... since the very first episode of AuDHD Flourishing.

Now we have one, thanks to Chris Wells and Marni Kammersell for interviewing me on PDA: Resistance and Resilience, and letting me cross-post the episode here!

Mentioned in episode:

1. Full show notes
2. AuDHD Flourishing Episode 87: Giftedness & the Sparkly Mind with Sheldon Gay
3. AuDHD Flourishing Episode 88: Gifted Development & Positive Disintegration with Chris Wells
4. AuDHD Flourishing Episode 108: Using Intuition Practically
5. Robert Chapman’s book Empire of Normality

Connect with Chris, Marni, PDA pod:

• Wandering Brightly with Marni Kammersell
• Positive Disintegration and cosmic cheer squad with Chris Wells
• PDA: Resistance and Resilience on Substack
• Follow us on Instagram

1. Transcript Doc
2. Mattia's Newsletter
3. Like Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)

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About two years ago, I started ADHD stimulant medication as a regular (most days) thing. I've mentioned it here and there on the podcast.

This is my most concentrated "review" of the main things I've noticed over the past two years.

To be clear, when I mention a factor that might make stimulant meds more of a burnout risk, I'm not saying those folks shouldn't try it! Just to be very careful not to push through the body's capacity.

Mentioned in episode:

1. Mattia interviewed on Chris Wells' & Marni Kammersell's new podcast, PDA: Resistance and Resilience. Ep 7: Creative Resistance (I'll be posting this episode in the feed next week)

1. Transcript Doc
2. Mattia's Newsletter
3. Like Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One reason most advice doesn't work for us is that it's backwards. It's telling us to do/have the end result, rather than showing us how to get there.

In the case of safety or shame, it's pretty clear that we can't just leap to the end of the process (if there even is one with a traumatized body).

Mentioned in episode:

1. Toxic Shame: What it is and How to Heal From it (YouTube, Heidi Priebe. Her take is overall better/more accessible than the book she's referencing, which is shockingly triggering all over the place)

1. Transcript Doc
2. Mattia's Newsletter
3. Like Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

TQ (they/them) is a queer, trans, physically disabled, AuDHD Chinese-Singaporean artist, author/host of the upcoming book/podcast Queer! AuDHD! BIPOC!, and community facilitator for other queer neurodivergent BIPOC.

In true ND fashion, we range over many topics, including the importance of community and hearing your own stories as a person with multiple intersecting identities.

You can pre-order a copy of their upcoming book for behind-the-scenes/early access to the interviews and writing!

• Support the Queer! AuDHD! BIPOC! book and podcast
• All the incredible neurodivergent, Autistic, and AuDHD creators of color TQ learns from
• Lovette Jallow on the history/use of the term "intersectionality"
• The Autastic Community

1. Transcript Doc
2. Mattia's Newsletter
3. Like Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)

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Also on YouTube for some visuals

My urge for minimalism is partly to provide myself with the visual cues I desperately need, without overwhelming myself with visual clutter. And, there has been a specifically classist push for minimalism that sometimes causes me to get rid of too much.

Here's an excellent thread about minimalism, class, and why you're probably not a hoarder

I especially loved the idea that you may just need better organization, because I really love lining things up. Now I'm focusing on organizing based on my interests, rather than what I think is the most practical or obvious!

Mentioned in episode:

1. Mastodon thread about minimalism
2. The exact iPad cover I showed that looks like a Composition notebook (still going strong almost four years in), affiliate link

1. Transcript Doc
2. Mattia's Newsletter
3. Like Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks to Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson for letting me cross-post this important discussion about one of the first longitudinal studies of ADHD in women and girls!

Full show notes, timestamps, and Transcript available on Hyperfocus' site

(Ep 5, The “devastating” findings of a decades-long ADHD study, Dec 5, 2024 has the full version; it was reposted Aug 28 2025 with more brief notes)

Dr. Stephen Hinshaw is one of the leading voices when it comes to ADHD in women and girls.

That’s in large part due to his work on The Berkeley Girls Study. (Its full name is The Berkeley Girls with ADHD Longitudinal Study, but most people know it by that shorthand or acronym: The BGALs Study.)

Under Steve’s leadership, researchers began studying 140 girls with ADHD and a control group of nearly 90 girls without it. They’ve been following these girls into their adulthood, producing a reams of information that has helped shape current understanding of ADHD in women and girls.

That said, Rae Jacobson had plenty of questions for Steve:

• Why did you want to study ADHD in girls at a time when it was typically seen as a boys’ disorder?
• Why is it that one type of ADHD seems to lead to such negative outcomes?
• What do we do about the stigma that still surrounds the disorder?

note: This episode includes discussion of suicide and self-harm. Please take care when listening and skip this one if you need to.

Listen to more episodes of Hyperfocus here

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Chronic shame makes us feel all kinds of terrible things that often are the triggers that send people to therapy.

It's caused in part by relational rupture without repair, especially as an infant and child.

While there's no quick fix, recognizing the signs and beginning to gently work with it does help over time.

This is episode 10 of a series of 10 that started with 102 AuDHD Therapy That Works with Joe Sosta

I'm working on some more materials to pull all these episodes together in a useful way and will add that here when they're done!

Crisis Resources:

• USA-based anonymous crisis chat
• International crisis lines
• Various types of crisis resources in about 10 countries
• My Medium article, "Please Stay, We Need You"

Mentioned in episode:

• Book Understanding and Treating Chronic Shame: Healing Right Brain Relational Trauma (I recommend this 2nd edition, affiliate link)
• Whack-a-Mole Workshop slides/notes and recordings (latter is free & requires free login; a downloadable PDF is also available there on Patreon)

1. Transcript Doc
2. Mattia's Newsletter
3. Like Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.