In this episode of the 226 Podcast, we dive into one of the most critical and challenging seasons of parenting: the Independence Stage—typically starting around 8th or 9th grade. We unpack how to intentionally prepare students for the freedom that’s coming, rather than reacting once they already have it.
🎯 Key Takeaways from This Episode:
✅ Prepare for Independence Before It Happens
Don’t wait until your student is fully independent (or has car keys in hand) to shape their habits and values. Set clear, non-negotiable expectations now—like church attendance or family priorities—and explain the “why” behind the rules.
✅ Help Them Build Their Own Faith
By this stage, kids don’t just need to know what they believe—they need to know why. The goal is to transition from you teaching them truth, to helping them explore and own it themselves. That includes welcoming tough questions and walking with them through doubts in a healthy, Christ-centered way.
✅ Formative Rhythms > Behavior Modification
It’s not just about telling your student what not to do. Help them develop rhythms and practices (like Scripture reading, prayer, and community involvement) that form them into someone who loves and follows Jesus. Focus less on rule-following, and more on identity and spiritual formation.
✅ Widen the Circle of Influence
At this age, students begin to view their parents as the least-informed people in their lives. Instead of fighting it, recruit godly voices—small group leaders, mentors, coaches, and teachers—who can say the same things you are. The message stays the same, even if the messenger changes.
✅ Who They Do Life With Matters
The people surrounding your child in this season will either shape them toward Jesus or pull them away. Help your teen evaluate their friendships by asking, “Who do you want to become—and are your friends helping or hurting that?” Prioritize community that encourages confession, prayer, and growth.
💬 Encouragement for Parents:
➡ You cannot parent from a place of fear. Trust God with your student’s heart and future.
➡ Give yourself grace. This season is fast, messy, and hard—but you are not alone.
➡ Parent in community. You need godly adult friendships just as much as your student does.
➡ Don’t aim to control—aim to coach. Give your teen room to process, fail, and grow under your guidance.
📌 Three Essential Areas to Focus On in This Stage:
- What They Believe – Build a resilient, gospel-shaped worldview.
- What They Do – Cultivate habits and rhythms that shape their character.
- Who They Do Life With – Surround them with Christ-centered community.
Thank you for joining us! Want more information? Check out our website:
Kids: https://www.fbcboerne.org/kids/
Youth: https://www.fbcboerne.org/youth/