When I Married My Mother

A Daughter's Search for What Really Matters - and How She Found It Caring for Mama Jo

De: Jo Maeder

Narrado por: Jo Maeder

A city-loving, single New York DJ braces for disaster when she reluctantly moves to the Bible Belt to care for her estranged, doll-obsessed, hoarder mother. What unfolds in this best-selling memoir is a hilarious, heartbreaking love story that sees eldercare and making peace with the past in a most unexpected way.

"This book is important to every mother and daughter, and to every woman who wants to be one." (Maya Angelou)

©2009, 2014 Jo Maeder (P)2016 Jo Maeder

Reseñas de la Crítica

"Hilarious, poignant, and utterly relevant to all of us facing adulthood with aging parents. Jo Maeder perfectly nails the unique combination of love and frustration that so many of us have felt. And her mother!! Mama Jo is a character I won't soon forget. I adored this book." (Hope Edelman)

“Who knew aging, memory-impaired mothers could surprise their reluctantly dutiful daughters? Jo’s counter-intuitive take on caring for Mama Jo speaks to the resilience in late-life family care relationships. As author and memoirist, Jo delighted participants at Duke’s Alzheimer’s conference by encouraging them to seek fresh, positive, and personal perspectives on caring.” (Lisa P. Gwyhter, MSW, co-author The Alzheimer’s Action Plan: A Family Guide, Director of Duke Aging Center Family Support Program)

"A humorous and always touching account of how Maeder went from dreading caring for 'Mama Jo' to cherishing every minute with her. This generous gift of a book explores the mystery of how doing the right thing can, in the end, become infinitely more." (Tommy Hays)

Beautiful story

A must read for anyone caring for aging parents! Very relatable story for daughters and sons alike.

humorous & heartrending tale of mother/child/aging

this book caught my eye when it popped up on Audible as something I might like, partly because I had been touched by George Hodgman's Bettyville when I read it in 2017; that author was like this one in that they both left successful careers & big city life in NY to go to places of much slower pace & different vibe to care for elderly mothers; I am 63 & my mom is thankfully doing OK on her own at 89 but I wish I still lived 20 minutes from her instead of 6 hours away as she could use more company & assistance; more & more I see my contemporaries caught in webs of multigenerational family; like everything, this has its pros & cons, but people live longer & longer & spread out further & have children later, & cost of living continually increases ... ; adults who have reached "empty nest"/senior citizen status themselves & could be coasting through retirement, may be closely parenting young adult children, & caring for both grandchildren & elderly parents, some while continuing full time careers; this is one thing if the parties live close, but quite another if there is significant travel to get between home base & where services are needed; the reality is very different when $ is not a concern vs when it is tight; I applaud the honesty & humor of the thoughts & emotions of the author as she finds her way on an unexpected life detour; it is both stifling & a blessing to be in a period between focusing primarily on one's own life & providing service to others/ as is often the case, the servant is as blessed as the one served; our roots do matter; I did not appreciate the frequent use of 4 letter words beginning with S & F, & southern Protestant church/religion/Christianity bashing, but did understand the culture clash being portrayed & that the author was sorting things out during the course of her journey; I was greatly touched by the tender detailed story & glad I listened to it; though there are many excellent narrator performances, I always appreciate author's reading their own works as Jo Maeder did; God really does know what He is doing &, like the song says, has the whole world in His hands

A must read for grown up children

A MUST READ for every daughter. No matter what relations you have with your Mom, you can always make it better. Call your Momma today, before it is too late... And listen to this awesome memoir!

Great Mother and Daughter Story

This reminds me of the time I had mom in her final years. I made me nostalgic for two years ago. I miss my mom everyday. Thanks for a touching memorial to love.

Engrossing and page turning read

This book kept me intrigued and entertained. The author was insightful without being cruel and was willing to look her situation in the mirror in a way that was vulnerable and tender. Months later, I still think of this book.

Now it has become apparent that the mother in this book likely struggled with some type of neurodivergence, perhaps autism, that was never diagnosed, yet profoundly impacted her quality of life and the relationships she had with family and friends. Her daughter never mentions this, but the collecting of so many dolls, being overwhelmed with changes to routine, and her unfiltered language all point to something like this. Her daughter doesn't need a diagnosis for her mom though. She is able to use compassion and personal introspection to understand her. This is a memorable read that I highly recommend.

loved this. sad it's over.

beimg able to listen to this made it very real. i felt like I was sittimg listening to Jo in my kitchen.

Loved this book and its author

Wonderful! I have recommended this story to several friends who are also getting to know their parents as "old people". It's encouraging and honest. Personally, I want to look up and find Jo Maeder and ask her to be my friend. She's just someone you like.

Deeply meaningful, loving, courageous, peaceful

Deeply meaningful book. Through touching stories and genuine internal feelings, it shows how the bond of family can pull people together in the face of crisis, no matter how different they are, and even if those people never got along before.

We don't get to choose our parents. Often do we hear that people don't get along with their parents, or dread going home, or regret being too busy to see them before they suddenly passed away. Jo Maeder's memoir showed me that despite all the dreading and groaning, previous family separation, or personal differences, something inside us would push us to want to care for our parents in their weakening years. It is a feeling that I can echo with.

The parental love, or moreover the maternal love, is quite an incomparable kind of love. It is unconditionally forgiving and eternally so, more than one might realize until one becomes a parent or until a crisis.

Highly recommend this moving memoir.

Narrator: The author, also the narrator, is a radio presenter by trade. Can't get an author-narrated audiobook much better than that.

Laugh and Cry

This author added humor to an extremely difficult situation. If we are fortunate, we have aging parents and they will need some level of care, even if just to check in with them. This is a story about discovering what a gift an aging parent can be before it's too late.

I didn't think the book could get any better...

This book is amazing...full of heart and love...I feel like it was written just for me...it's not very often that I'm at a loss for words but bottom line is EVERYONE should read this book and then buy more to give as gifts...Thank you Jo for sharing your journey with us...