The Beginning of Everything

The Year I Lost My Mind and Found Myself

De: Andrea J. Buchanan

Narrado por: Andrea J. Buchanan

Duración: 9 h y 57 m

Resumen del Editor

A PEN / E.O. Wilson Literary Science Writing Award Finalist

A real-life neurological mystery and captivating story of reinvention by the New York Times bestselling author of The Daring Book for Girls.

Andrea Buchanan lost her mind while crossing the street one blustery March morning. The cold winter air triggered a coughing fit, and she began to choke. She was choking on a lot that day. A sick child. A pending divorce. The guilt of failing as a partner and as a mother. When the coughing finally stopped, she thought it was over. She could not have been more wrong.

When she coughed that morning, a small tear ripped through her dura mater, the membrane covering the brain and spinal cord. But she didn’t know that yet. Instead, Andrea went on with her day, unaware that her cerebrospinal fluid was already beginning to leak out of that tiny opening.

What followed was nine months of pain and confusion as her brain, no longer cushioned by a healthy waterbed of fluid, sank in her skull. At a time in her life when she needed to be as clear-thinking as possible - as a writer, as a mother, as a woman attempting to strike out on her own after two decades of marriage - she was plagued by cognitive impairment and constant pain, trapped by her own brain - all while mystifying doctors and pushing the limits of medical understanding.

In this luminous and moving narrative, Andrea reveals the astonishing story of this tumultuous year - her fraught search for treatment; how patients, especially women, fight to be seen as reliable narrators of their own experiences; and how her life-altering recovery process affected both her and her family.

The mind-brain connection is one of the greatest mysteries of the human condition. In some folklore, the cerebrospinal fluid around the brain is thought to be the place where consciousness actually begins. Here, in the pages of The Beginning of Everything, Andrea seeks to understand: Where was “I” when I wasn’t there?

©2018 by Andrea J. Buchanan. (P)2019 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved.

How an innocent cough charged her life forever

Although the reasons which caused our CSF leak‘s vary, so much of what you shared with us from anxiety to anger to the worry of finding suitable doctors, waiting on healthcare insurance, etc. it is all but too familiar.

I also appreciate you bringing us into your personal space and telling us stories about your own family, especially your little one who nearly lost her life.

The battles that we fight in order to be seen and seriously heard by those who are able help us is painful, lengthy and not always successful. But somehow we find the courage to forge through and you have shown how you so bravely accomplished it.

Well written. Thank you.

Andrea says what I couldn't during my CSF leak

Thanks so much for letting others know what many of us go through with CSF leaks.

Insightful Work on Living with a CSF Leak

It was a helpful read overall. They suspect a CSF leak on me left from a spinal fusion and Chiari decompression in 2018. I’ve been living with it for more than 3 years now. I used to be on 5 liters of IV fluids a week because I also have POTS and it seemed to be compensating until I weaned off of them and went downhill.

The part of the story that hit me the hardest, and provided quite a revelation, was the part where the author discusses how when your brain is sick it doesn’t always realize it is and attempts to rationalize it. I had made some of the same rationalizing comments shared just 3 days before reading that and bursted into tears realizing how that’s exactly what I’ve done.

In some ways reading this brought up a lot more fears. I have history of a bad TBI and then the Chiari and instability a few years after that and my brain is better than back then, so I never stopped to think it could still not be working very right. It’s made me afraid that once I get these neuro things fixed I will regret things from the period I was leaking. It’s made me afraid to trust myself and my brain. And in some ways maybe that’s a good thing given what I shared above, but in others it’s unsettling, as I’ve only recently started to really trust myself at all.

The vivid descriptions of pain freaked me out that it will be worse than what I’ve experienced so far, but at the same time with all I’ve been through it’s hard to imagine much worse.

It also kinda took my positive outlook on the situation down multiple notches. Maybe that’s better and safer, I’m not sure. But at the end of the book, hearing the progress gave me a lot of hope. My brain has been so impacted since the TBI and it’s neat to think things could get even better. That I may be able to think clearer, that I may be able to do more. I just want to be able to sit up to read a book and to write and to take a walk sometimes. 🤞

I’m still grateful for this book as there isn’t a lot of books on CSF leaks at all. There isn’t as much info about it as some of the things I’ve dealt with in the past. I suppose it has helped me accept my situation and probably be more realistic about things. I did learn a lot. I guess my only complaint is wishing it was a bit more positive, but that feels like an awful thing to critique. Maybe it’s because I’ve buried a lot of medical trauma and pain and haven’t been able to be as honest about the hardships, to even feel the weight of these situations. I think it’s great for outsiders to understand the weight of the situation, but wish it was a little more positive for those going through it. That’s probably a me problem though.

Amazing Story, my Wife is going through this now

Really incredibly detailed journey through this very rare and difficult medical condition. My wife is going through this now and while some moments in this book are so similar to our experience it’s scary, however our diagnosis period and finding out about Duke took a bit longer. Thanks for sharing and great read for anyone looking to learn more about CSF leaks how to handle it and the rebound headaches that come after patching.