On Earth as It Is on Television

De: Emily Jane

Narrado por: Hayden Bishop

In Emily Jane's rollicking debut, when spaceships arrive and then depart suddenly without a word, the certainty that we are not alone in the universe turns to intense uncertainty as to our place within it.

"Weird and sweet … like a 2020s White Noise: loud and colorful Americana with a sprinkle of apocalyptic doom."—Edgar Cantero

"Heartfelt, witty, and secretly romantic … a delightful and poignant story about what it is to be human, and what we owe each other." —Christina Lauren

Since long before the spaceships' fleeting presence, Blaine has been content to go along with the whims of his supermom wife and half-feral, television-addicted children. But when the kids blithely ponder skinning people to see if they're aliens, and his wife drags them all on a surprise road trip to Disney World, even steady Blaine begins to crack.

Half a continent away, Heather floats in a Malibu pool and watches the massive ships hover overhead. Maybe her life is finally going to start. For her, the arrival heralds a quest to understand herself, her accomplished (and oh-so-annoying) stepfamily, and why she feels so alone in a universe teeming with life.

Suddenly conscious and alert after twenty catatonic years, Oliver struggles to piece together his fragmented, disco-infused memories and make sense of his desire to follow a strange cat on a westward journey.

Embracing the strangeness that is life in the twenty-first century, On Earth as It Is on Television is a rollicking, heartfelt tale of first contact that practically leaps off the planet.

©2023 Emily Jane (P)2023 Hyperion Avenue

Fun and engaging

A fun adventure story that I couldn't put down - nor did I want to. I love wish fulfillment tales and this fits the bill perfectly. A perfect summer read!

Random find, unexpectedly amazing!

First, the performance:

Hayden Bishop gives such a fantastic performance that I'm considering buying other books she's read.

My wife and i listen to audio books nonstop. When we can't find an audio book, we use a text-to-speech reader. I can't tell you how many times we've turned away from bad readers who over-pronounce certain consonants, or read with an odd cadence, making a robotic voice more pleasurable.

Hayden Bishop gives voice to these characters in a beautiful way, bringing them to life and making me want more of them.
A good book only gets better when the reader is this good.

The story:

Emily Jane lays down a tale of immense emotion. I went into the story blind, without reading much more than a blurb. Started the preview on a whim, and bought the book to continue the story. My only regret is that Emily Jane has not written more books!

I haven't laughed and then cried and then laughed so hard I cried while reading (or listening to) a book in a very long time. Her skill with humor is exquisite, touching on the darker parts of life in ways that make brighter times nearly blinding.

If you enjoy stories about human emotion, rambunctious children, TV, and cats, then this is definitely the story for you. I will certainly be recommending this book to friends and family.

I will be impatiently watching for more from Emily Jane.

An absolute joy to listen to!

It hits all the right notes for me; it has romance,philosophical undertones on living, mystery, and ufos. It’s a dream book for me ❤️

Slow burn

I almost stopped listening to this book halfway through because it didn’t seem to be getting anywhere. Thankfully, I kept listening and I enjoyed the second half much more than the first.

Lukewarm Drama

It’s a nice feel-good story with minimal risk and drama. The kids were absolutely annoying.

Cats? Aliens? I’m in!

Not what I expected! It was fun and beautifully pieced together. I had such a blast listening to this book and picturing the story. I don’t want to spoil anything. It’s a must read for an easy, engaging, and happy time.

An Optimistic Take on Uncertainty and Humanity

I'd found this title on a list of anticipated sci-fi books of the summer. I purchased it right when it came out, something I usually avoid with sci-fi until I read reviews. I'm really happy I did! It was a great, casual listen while I hiked, jogged, or worked outside.

Some things I liked: the first 30% of the book shows the fear and uncertainty that comes with a world-altering event, and the struggle people experience with trying to figure out what it all means and how to find answers. It then switches gears a bit as truths get revealed and turns into a great piece about perspective, seeing beauty in all of life, and what it really means to be human.
The sci-fi aspect of the book was kept uncomplicated, letting the characters and their journeys drive the plot. This made it an easy and enjoyable listen.
The take on cats experiencing the universe on a totally different wavelength is, honestly, the best take on cats I've read so far. Funky little freaks doing Olympic sprints at 4am must be aware of greater universal wisdom, right?
The author captures the feeling of being an excited stranger trying to fit in to a strange land so well. Marveling at every little cultural idiosyncrasy, stuffing yourself full of new food, trying to insert yourself into daily life like a local despite the obvious "outsider" quirks you can't quite shed. And loving every minute of your life you've built despite those differences

Some areas of improvement:
The narrator did a great job with providing so many different voices, though occasionally it was hard to tell a few apart in conversations.
I love cats and dogs alike, but I don't know if non-cat people would feel put off by the constant "hims a chonky boi!" I'd be interested to hear what non-cat people think about it
While the reactions of every day people are spot on (especially Dave and his cult camp of Ohioan alien fighting militia doomsday preppers) it was hard to buy how chill world governments seemed towards the end. I think it was intentional on the author's part to keep the focus on the characters' journeys, not try to figure out whatever political clusterfuck would occur as a result of the ships appearance, but some might find it a little too optimistic to digest, if that makes sense.

Overall, this is a book for someone looking for a great, casual summer read that will no doubt remind them what a confusing, beautiful, chaotic, and wonderful thing it is to be a puny life form on a puny rock hurtling through the endless vastness of the universe. And what a lovely invention cheese is

Great story!

There are some books that I just enjoy better in print and I think this is one of them. Some of the voices grated on my nerves and I hated the voices of the children. I know they were supposed to be annoying...but I'd rather read it and imagine it than actually have to suffer through it.

Semi-enjoyable

Came upon this book randomly. Narrator is excellent. As many have said, there are two child characters which honestly mad me want to stop listening multiple times. Very frustrating and not really necessary to the plot. I’ll also say that the entire book is about 11 hours or so. It’s not until the third part (out of four) where I really became engaged. It was fun after that. But we’re talking 6+ hours into the book. So, just beware.

Close encounters with nostalgia

Earth as it is on television is an easy read, that reminded me of some of my favorite sci fi movies from childhood, maintaining the lightheartedness of ET and had similarly wonderful character and relationship development as that of Close Encounters. The plot starts as a number of loose ends and leads the reader through a series of relatable sceneries and character interplay. All of which are painted with playful imagery before the story ties together at the end.

The performance was done well, providing a consistent read-through. The readers impression of annoying children is incredibly effective.