Habits of a Peacemaker

10 Habits to Change Our Potentially Toxic Conversations into Healthy Dialogues

De: Steven T. Collis

Narrado por: Traber Burns

Learn the practical skills that can help you build bridges, heal relationships, and engage in productive conversation about even the hardest topics.

Imagine turning what could be a contentious conversation with a family member, a friend, or a coworker into a fruitful exchange that enlightens everyone’s minds and inches both of you toward a solution. Steven T. Collis, one of the world’s leading experts on civil discourse, reveals ten practical habits that can help you navigate the potential minefields of hard topics and leave you and those you converse with feeling thoughtful and productive.

Most people have experienced the slippery slope of dialogue that descends into polarized argument. We yell at each other. We gaslight. We twist one another’s words and meanings. We embrace facts that support our conclusions and ignore those that don’t. Or we sit in silence, afraid to discuss anything of substance. If how you treat others matters to you, this book offers powerful new habits that can give you the confidence to engage in dialogue about hard topics while building and strengthening relationships.

Learn successful habits that will allow you to, among other things:

• Reframe conversations to make them more productive
• Engage in real learning by breaking free from technological manipulation
• Ask questions of others to understand their true motivations
• Recognize gaslighting and not allow it
• Know when and how to use humor
• Take time for long reflection
• Embrace the discomfort of non-closure

Whether you’re motivated by a desire for more fruitful discussions about politics or simply bringing more peace to your home, Habits of a Peacemaker offers you the tools to engage in constructive and healthy dialogue.

©2024 Steven T. Collis (P)2024 Blackstone Publishing

Compelling read.

Well thought out ideas and examples of the importance of being willing to engage with people in our world and family with an open mind and heart.

Clear and helpful.

Clear, strong, inspiring principles I can use in my family relationships, public service, spiritual life, and at work. I expect more personal and interpersonal serenity as I practice them.

So many helpful suggestions

I felt a little indicted by this book because I like to think of myself as a peacemaker, but I guess I’m really more of an arguer. I am walking away from this book with a renewed commit commitment to try to understand other people and search for truth instead of just trying to be right. I loved all the examples and ideas.

An honest but somewhat misguided attempt at a universal handbook for having earnest discussions.

While there are many good ideas and techniques provided for people who are looking to have more productive discussions, the book is somewhat undermined by certain segments within. I'm speaking of parts where the author speaks with authority on things they are not an authority of without referencing actual authorities or established definitions. One such example is in regards to the explanation and examples of "gaslighting", where the term is somewhat misdefined and then the examples given to back it up are either poor representations or not examples of gaslighting at all. This undermines the author's perceived authority as a whole because moments like this directly contradict a major point given earlier in the book in not speaking as an authority on things you are not an authority of.

Additionally, the author's own political and religious biases become increasingly clear over the course of the book, with the latter being made most evident of course in the section on spiritual belief. The most prominent being the fairly reliable use of left-wing stances on issues as a basis for examples of what not to do if you want to be a peacekeeper, and while it is a subtle thing it does present a form of bias that makes it difficult to not start to view the entire book with that boas on mind. Additionally the spirituality section is clearly written with the biases of someone from a specific Christian denomination and while it makes sense for the author's experience to shape their work, it is also important for them to make an extra effort to break away from their specific lense if they want their book to be used and accepted by a broader audience.