Life during and after toxic relationships can feel like hell. And sometimes we find helpful ideas that help us get our life back together. I try to share those, and a major source of those ideas has been Scott Adams, the Dilbert creator, who also wrote some exceptional books to help people avoid bad ideas and have (as a consequence) better and happier lives. His birthday is June 8 (today) and he is very sick, it might be his last birthday. So I have a HUGE favour to ask you, listeners:

When relevant, take the helpful ideas you find in this podcast and share them with people who need to hear them. You know how sometimes (maybe) I'll share something and it clicks, or something makes more sense? Some of what I share I borrowed from Scott and adapted to toxic relationships and narcissism (not everything, but many things).

You too can pass on those ideas so they outlive Scott, myself, and eventually you. Not only will that continue to help making the world a better place, not only is that maybe the best way to be grateful to all the giants whose shoulders we stand on (Scott is one of my giants), but also you will feel the joy of having helped reduce the darkness in someone's life. As we already paid the price of toxic relationships, we might as well make the most of the benefits. Helping others is one of the highlights of my life now.

And please share a thought for Scott. Without him, my work would be nowhere near as good, my life would be less enjoyable. I feel like I'm losing one of my closest friends, one of the highlights of my life so far. So it's time for me to step up and do more than I have recently. It feels lonely, and scary, and really sad.

But if this podcast episode inspires even one of you to pass on some ideas I share, that would mean the world to me (no need to quote me, just share the idea).

As always, thanks for listening.

And Happy Birthday Scott! I'm grateful beyond words for all you've done, you're truly an inspiration - and I will do more than I've done recently.

Shame makes us look away, and that makes us MUCH more vulnerable to narcissists. But it's possible to recognise when we're feeling shame and STOP our coping mechanisms to REDUCE our vulnerability.

I recently looked into shame and recognised some patterns I was not aware of, as well as coping mechanisms, and even dissociation. This explained some things I had experienced over the years. As this was awful, perhaps sharing my thoughts will make it less awful for you?

In this podcast, I run though some ideas and anecdotes, as well as share a few tips. If you'd like more on this topic, let me know.

Just as shame makes us look away, for some reason I'd been procrastinating from recording this episode. I hope you found this helpful.

I saw a post on social media about 8 mistakes to avoid when dealing with toxic people and... I disagree with nearly all of it. In this episode, I run you through the "advice", explain what I disagree with, and why - and provide my alternative suggestions.

I hope you find this helpful and it helps you figure out what to do and, more important, what NOT to do.