
Dead Clown Barbecue
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Narrado por:
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Andy Barker
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De:
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Jeff Strand
Acerca de esta escucha
A man who finds a severed nose on a plate on his dining room table. A bell that can summon Satan (maybe). Casual Fridays at work that get out of control. A cheery outlook on the post-apocalyptic landscape. The final thoughts of a doomed skydiver. A girl punished by having to share a bed with her grandmother’s corpse. Revenge via baking a tarantula into a cake. A romance between two carnivorous, genetically enhanced plants. And the lost tale of Fangboy.
These are only a few of the demented stories in Dead Clown Barbecue, a collection of 29 gleefully macabre tales, seven of which were written just for this collection. There’s even a brand-new one about a ventriloquist dummy. Those things creep you out, right?
You’ll laugh. You’ll scream. Okay...you probably won’t actually scream, unless you already had issues before you started listening, but you might cringe and get a little spooked.
©2013 Jeff Strand (P)2018 Jeff StrandLos oyentes también disfrutaron...
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So good!
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Drunk customers. Shoplifting raccoons. Otherworldly visitors. As night shift clerk at the 24-hour gas station at the edge of town, Jack has pretty much seen it all.
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A city where people are turning gleefully insane. Inescapable blood-sucking bugs. A serial killer who may have discovered proof of alien life. A kinky proposal to "even out" an instance of infidelity. A man whose fingernails are growing at an out of control rate. These are only a few of the stories in Jeff Strand's deranged new collection, which includes several macabre tales written just for these bloody audiobook.
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Outrageous and Unique
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???
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Demonic
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Demonic
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Everything Has Teeth
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Autumn Bleeds into Winter
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Somebody has been abducting children in Fairbanks, Alaska. One of the victims was 14-year-old Curtis Black's best friend, Todd. Curtis saw it happen. He knows exactly who did it. But he can't prove that it was his neighbor, Gerald Martin. The authorities find no evidence of the crime. There's nothing they can do. So he's going to confront Mr. Martin himself. And this is just the beginning of the terrifying story.
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Jeff Strand will have you laughing the whole time!
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Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
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After a series of bizarre and increasingly horrific attacks from pulpy, red, seeded fruit, Mason Dixon finds himself leading a "crack" team of specialists to save the planet. But will they be quick enough to save everyone? To save you? You can't run! You can't swim!
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Great fun
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Cyclops Road
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Evan Portin is at a sad, scary place in his life. While taking a long walk to compose himself and figure out where to go from here, he encounters a young woman being mugged in a park. When he tries to intervene, he discovers that she doesn't need his help. At all. Her name is Harriett. She is very, very good at defending herself. Everything she owns is in a large backpack. She's never seen a cell phone. She's never been in a car. She's never really ventured into the outside world. And she says she's traveling across the country to slay a Cyclops. She's crazy, right?
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AMAZING!!!!
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Pressure
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Alex stared at the red pocketknife shown to him by his daughter. A pocketknife owned by somebody he hadn't seen in years. They met first in boarding school at age 12. Alex Fletcher, shy and scared. Darren Rust, always furiously scribbling away in a private journal. It was not an immediate friendship, but then one night Darren convinced his roommate to sneak off school grounds to see something glorious.
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Refreshingly Riveting GrittyThriller! LOVED IT!
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Wolf Hunt
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Meet George and Lou, thugs for hire. The kind of intimidating-yet-friendly guys who will break your thumbs, but be polite about it. Their latest assignment is to drive across Florida to deliver some precious cargo to a crime lord. The cargo: a man in a cage. Though Ivan seems perfectly human, they're warned that he is, in fact, a bloodthirsty werewolf.
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HE DIDN'T OUTSMART US
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Blister
- De: Jeff Strand
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- Versión completa
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They call her Blister. She's a hideously disfigured 23-year-old woman, living in a shed next to her father's house, hidden away from the world. Jason Tray is a successful cartoonist, banished to his agent's lakeside cabin for a few days of mandatory rest and relaxation. One night, while hanging out with a couple of the locals at a dive bar, he takes them up on their offer to go "see Blister," having no idea what they're talking about.
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Character Driven, Warm and Fuzzy, Funny, Scary
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Graverobbers Wanted: No Experience Necessary
- An Andrew Mayhem Thriller, Book 1
- De: Jeff Strand
- Narrado por: Joe Hempel
- Duración: 5 h y 54 m
- Versión completa
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When you’re desperate for money, searching for a little adventure, and aren’t the most responsible person in the world, you can end up doing some outrageous things. Which is how Andrew Mayhem, a married father of two, ends up accepting $20,000 to find a key - a key buried with a body in a shallow grave. But what he finds in the grave isn’t quite what he expected, and what begins as a simple evening of morally questionable manual labor turns into a really good way to die.
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Tried to get through it.
- De Samantha en 05-23-21
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Dweller
- De: Jeff Strand
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- Duración: 7 h y 47 m
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When Toby Floren was eight years old, he discovered a monster living in the woods behind his house. A ghastly, frightening creature with claws, fangs, and a taste for human flesh. As he ran out of the forest, screaming, Toby felt that he'd been lucky to escape with his life. Years later, Toby finds comfort with the creature. It's his own special secret - something that nobody else in the world knows about. Somebody to talk to. Somebody to confide in.
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I can't even...
- De Natalie @ ABookLoversLife en 01-16-17
De: Jeff Strand
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Ferocious
- De: Jeff Strand
- Narrado por: Scott Thomas
- Duración: 5 h y 18 m
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Rusty Moss has raised his niece Mia since she was a baby. Now that she's almost 18, he's worried that the life he's given her - living off the grid in a cabin deep in the woods - is holding her back from her full potential. But that angst gets pushed aside when the undead forest animals arrive. At first it's just a squirrel - shockingly violent and almost impossible to kill. Followed by a grizzly bear, also aggressive and resilient, even when point-blank shotgun blasts to the face are involved.
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Fast, furry and hilarious!!!
- De Natalie @ ABookLoversLife en 07-10-19
De: Jeff Strand
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Sick House
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- Narrado por: Joe Hempel
- Duración: 6 h y 43 m
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It doesn't seem like the perfect house, but screw it, it's good enough to rent for a year. Unfortunately for Boyd, Adeline, and their two young daughters, it's immediately clear they chose the wrong place. The nightmare begins with violent coughs and headaches. Food starts to rot almost as soon as they take it inside. A pet tarantula goes missing. Some family members begin to exhibit creepy behavior. Then the ghosts arrive, and all hell breaks loose....
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This House is Sick
- De Spooky Mike en 07-02-18
De: Jeff Strand
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I Have a Bad Feeling about This
- De: Jeff Strand
- Narrado por: Aaron Landon
- Duración: 5 h y 56 m
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Henry Lambert would rather play video games than spend time in the great outdoors - but that doesn't make him a wuss. Skinny nerd? Fine. But wuss is a little harsh. Sadly, his dad doesn't agree. Which is why Henry is being shipped off to Strongwoods Survival Camp. Strongwoods isn't exactly as advertised. It looks like the victim of a zombie apocalypse, the "camp director" is a psycho drill sergeant, and Henry's sure he saw a sign written in blood...
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Entertaining
- De JunieJ en 01-22-17
De: Jeff Strand
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Head Like a Hole
- De: Andrew Van Wey
- Narrado por: Tom Jordan
- Duración: 10 h y 35 m
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It’s the mid-'90s. Grunge and flannel are fading as the Spice Girls and Hot Topic conquer the malls. Cherry gloss glistens on the lips of the youth. Modems hiss as America comes online. And in a fog-drenched cove at the edge of New England, something terrible awakens when a fisherman reels in a gruesome catch: the remains of a young woman. Remains still pulsing with furious life.
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Very Original Horror Story
- De Mistsofjade en 12-12-22
De: Andrew Van Wey
Lo que los oyentes dicen sobre Dead Clown Barbecue
Calificaciones medias de los clientesReseñas - Selecciona las pestañas a continuación para cambiar el origen de las reseñas.
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- FictionFreak
- 08-07-18
BBQ
Dead Clown Barbecue is a crazy collection of disturbing, silly, and horrifying stories, not all at once and not in that order, necessarily. Andy Barker’s narration is surprisingly fitting for Jeff Strand’s writing style. Check it out, won’t you?
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- BKS
- 07-14-18
Gob Stopping
I have always had what I like to call a "British Sense of Humour" (see what I did there spelled Humour like the English do) which is very dry and slightly sarcastic, I suppose the word Ironic fits also. I have listened to many Strand works and find them to be highly sarcastic and immensely enjoyable, this book was no exception. The accent of the narrator was perfect and made the stories even more hilarious.
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esto le resultó útil a 2 personas
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- Tod M. Clark
- 07-15-18
A Collection of Demented Stories
While the stories are twisted and demented, they include humor as well, very dark humor.
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- Shieldslinger
- 07-10-18
Solid collection of scary funny shorts
Jeff Strand delivers exactly what you are expecting from him scary, funny, gross-out short stories.
From clown cannibalism to giant-sized vampires to avoiding zombies via jet ski these run the gamut and will satisfy your craving for weirdly humorous horror.
Well worth your time and money.
Andy Barker is an excellent narrator.
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esto le resultó útil a 1 persona
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- Dan Bugbee
- 08-26-22
If Stephen King and Monty Python had a love child.
This was my first Jeff Strand short story collection. I will certainly be looking for more like it. I absolutely loved the delivery of the prose (credit to the narrator as well) and enjoyed a bumper crop of giggles and guffaws alongside some cringeworthy descriptions. I believe that Mr. Strand may be the "Weird Al" Yankovic of comedy horror. Well done!
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- Jennifer
- 03-22-20
Hilarious
My husband probably thinks I’m loosing it now lol. I always listen to audiobooks while I’m going to sleep while wearing headphones and he woke up looking at me like I had lost my mind which with being under quarantine like everyone else with nothing to do is understandable I suppose. But I found myself laughing out loud in the middle of the night repeatedly while he was trying to sleep I found it hilarious , him not so much. If you like disturbing, extremely funny stories I definitely recommend this one. I was given this audio in exchange for honest and voluntary review.
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- James D. Hatheway
- 09-18-18
Great find!
Wow, really loved this audio book. Jeff is a real hoot. And Andy Barker is the perfect narrator for this type of book. Perfect timing and inflection. Only wish they had "Gleefully macabre tales" on audio. Anyway I was quite entertained by this listen. Perfect combination of humor and horror.Will definitely keep Jeff Strand on my list! Now on to "Wolf hunt" ; )
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- Kindle Customer
- 11-11-18
The love of horror, Jeff Strand, and Andy Barker
This is a perfect storm in book form. It is a mix of my favorite writer, Jeff Strand (who if I was a girl I’d have his baby), a great orator, Andy Barker (no baby, but a kiss on the check), and of course, Audible (we’ll talk later). If you, the reader/listener have money, buy all of Jeff Strad’s books. If your listening Audible, get Andy to read more books.
So get off your plump dupas, and pay these artist more (readers and Audible). Oh and tell Mark Tufo to start writing his own books again. Sean R. your still a great reader, thanks.
GregoryMartin
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- F. Delaney
- 11-14-18
Dont waste your time
This book was garbage could not finish the first story, don't waste your time. I would rather watch paint dry.
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