Beard

A Memoir of a Marriage

De: Kelly Foster Lundquist

Narrado por: Kelly Foster Lundquist

"When I tell this story as a joke, I am its punchline. Leaning in close, I might start with this bit: The night before my first husband got outed to me, I was in Chicago's Boystown neighborhood dressed up as Liza Minnelli for Halloween."

Kelly Foster Lundquist was nineteen when she met Devin at church camp in the late '90s. Immediately inseparable, the two bonded over bootleg Tori Amos recordings and a sense of disconnection from the spiritual fervor of their fellow camp counselors. Devin was classically handsome and Kelly on the plain side of pretty, but they matched. Their twinned search for God, acceptance, and love would profoundly shape the rest of their lives.

In this striking debut memoir, Lundquist revisits her relationship with Devin twenty years after their divorce, as she investigates the "beard" trope in literature, culture, and her own romantic life. The straight woman who unwittingly marries a gay man is either a laughingstock or a fool—or both—in the popular imagination. And yet reality—much like desire—is more wild. Reality is midnight pad Thai, tenderness in Ralph Lauren sheets, ritual visits to Blockbuster, and beginning a PhD in queer theory while your husband secretly struggles to reconcile his double life.

A tour de force of empathy and vivid prose, Beard reckons honestly with the harm done to both husband and wife by churches that required rigid performances of gender and sexuality. In contrast, Lundquist learns to let go of brittle certainties as she embraces what her first marriage taught her about risk and redemption.

©2025 Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co. (P)2025 Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.

Clever, hilarious, moving, and healing.

This is a story of a girl who meets a boy at a Christian camp. They both want to do what is expected of them as Christians. After being married for however many years she finds out he’s gay. This isn’t a spoiler because it’s the first thing the author tells you. I didn’t realize how much I would relate to this story. But when she talks about growing up in the south and the expectations of the Baptist community and feels confused, alone, and trying to figure out what’s missing in her marriage I could relate to every word. Listening to this book is like hanging out with a clever, funny, down to earth friend and having the best conversations ever. I honestly can’t recommend this book enough.

Well written, well read story...

When I was 16, my Mom (raised dirt poor on a farm in Indiana) told me (born and raised in the SF Bay Area) that my best male friend was gay. Lightning bolt. Of course he was. And he was in love with his best friend--my boyfriend. I'm not sure why I didn't know other than he did everything he could to no appear gay and wasn't out, as opposed to many others I knew who were out--not that uncommon in 1970s CA.

When I met a woman IRL who I became friends with, she told me the story of how she had married a gay man and didn't know. I didn't get it. How could she not know? So, lo these many years later, I see this book, written by someone who lives and teaches in MN (as I had) and thought, ok, support MN writers and maybe she can write it in a way I understand. I didn't. She's figuratively punched in the face time and time again with her husband's being gay, and la, la, la, somehow doesn't see it. So I've decided this: If you come from one of these crazy Christian backgrounds, you are so brainwashed and ignorant of the real world, you could catch your hubby in the act with another man and still not get it.

That said, great book! I really liked how Lundquist included what she was studying while getting her PhD as well as other literary and academic bits here and there that related to the story.

Read in one day

This is a great memoir. The author is very transparent in dealing with a subject not openly discussed often.

The depth of Kelly’s love

How Kelly demonstrates her love, compassion, and honesty towards her first love. How she makes me feel all these things as well. This is now one of my favorite memoirs.

A must read!

“Beard” is simultaneously a heartbreaking memoir of lost dreams & expectations and a love story of compassion that can only be found when humanity operates at its finest. A vulnerable and triumphant exploration of the human heart that breaks outdated labels. The author weaves morsels pop culture, mouth watering descriptions of delicious food, historical literature, humor and tender grace into a cozy blanket that I want to metaphorically wrap around myself and read beside a crackling fire over and over again.