Dr. Charlie Hornes shares the raw, life-altering story of how 9/11 cracked her open and set her on an unexpected journey—from the Brooklyn rooftops as the 2nd plane hit and the towers fell to seminary classrooms, leaving behind a career in acting and real estate.

This episode goes beyond personal testimony to explore the difference between performing your life and choosing it. If you've ever felt like you were living someone else’s version of success while ignoring your inner call, this episode is your wake-up call.

You’ll learn how survival patterns shape our ambition, why applause isn’t love, and how to start unraveling performative confidence so you can align with your real calling.

📍 Top Questions Answered What does it mean to have a performative life? How can trauma influence our career choices? Why do high-achieving women ignore their true calling? How do you know when it's time to pivot your life? What does burnout have to do with misaligned purpose? Why does survival mode feel like ambition? How do I stop performing and start choosing my life?

📌 Key Takeaways ✔ Survival mode often masquerades as success. ✔ Applause is not love—approval is not alignment. ✔ Performing confidence is not the same as having confidence. ✔ Big life pivots often start with quiet internal whispers. ✔ Burnout is frequently a symptom of misaligned or lost purpose. ✔ You don’t need to be palatable—you were called to be powerful. ✔ You can’t outrun your calling—but you can begin to listen today.

🕒 Chapter Timestamps

00:00 – How 9/11 changed everything for me 01:52 – A Gen X parenting moment + shoutout to Bark 04:15 – The day I knew acting was no longer for me 05:32 – What is performative confidence? 07:48 – Why ambition is sometimes fear in disguise 12:57 – Watching the towers fall: the moment everything cracked 16:52 – Why I walked away from real estate, too 19:38 – The Starbucks conversation that changed my life 21:50 – From performing to purpose: The invitation for you

🔗 Resources & Next Steps

Take the Free Quiz “What’s Your Silent Burnout Type” → https://charliehornescoaching.com/quiz

Try out your Bark Parental Controls FREE TRIAL with my partner link: https://charliehornescoaching.com/bark

BetterHelp Sponsored Link: You don’t need to do this alone. Start today & get 10% off your first month with my partner link → https://charliehornescoaching.com/betterhelp

Suggested Masterclasses for in-real-time results:

→ The Confidence Rewire: Rebuild Internal Authority. Rewire Hesitation in Real Time. Lead Without Apology

→ Fear is Calling the Shots: How to Shut it Down

→ Join “The Calling You Can’t Ignore” Masterclass coming soon

Find Masterclasses at https://charliehornescoaching.com/store

🔗 Related Episodes to Watch:

→ Why High-Achieving Women Don’t Ask for Help (Until It’s Too Late) | E37 → https://youtu.be/fOxpwdqOh3M

→ The Real Reason You Don’t Trust Yourself (And How to Rebuild It) | Betterhelp Sponsored | E42 → https://youtu.be/5vKV8e6XzFk

🎧Listen & Watch Now:

Listen on Apple Podcasts → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-art-of-managing-your-brain-science-backed-mindshift-tools-for-women/id1750638594 Watch the Full Episodes on YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@charliehornescoaching/podcasts

Stop performing your life—start living it on purpose. You were never meant to stay safe. You were meant to lead.

Dr. Charlie M. Hornes is a Doctorate Level Clinically Certified Pastoral Counselor and Certified Thought Work Strategist