Comedian Zarna Garg says it’s never too late in life to follow your dreams | Audible.com
Comedian Zarna Garg says it’s never too late in life to follow your dreams
In her hilarious and heartfelt memoir, “This American Woman,” Garg recalls her journey from being a homeless teenager in Mumbai, to motherhood, to making it as a stand-up comic.
Note: Text has been lightly edited for clarity and does not match audio exactly.
Katie O'Connor: Hi, listeners. I'm Audible Editor Katie O'Connor, and today I have the pleasure of speaking with comedian Zarna Garg about her debut memoir, . Welcome, Zarna.
Zarna Garg: Hi. Namaste. Thank you so much for having me.
KO: Thank you so much for being here. I loved your memoir, and I knew This American Woman would make me laugh. I'm a longtime fan of your comedy, but I was caught off guard by how moved I was and by the moments that made me cry. Walk me through your emotions as you first put pen to paper, and then going into the studio to record your memoir.
ZG: It was cathartic at first to go through, to relive your entire childhood, to relive all the emotions, because you forget so many things in your life, and then as you're writing it, you're like, "Oh, my God, now I remember this relative and this character and all of it." It was a grueling process to bring it all back and put pen to paper. But I think the audio was just a whole other level, to read those words out loud from beginning to end was a whole other experience. Also, for the audiobook, we have done so much extra bonus material because we wanted to add a few extra little treasures in there. But those bonus materials also ended up being very, very emotional. Much more so than I had originally expected.
KO: I'm sure, and I could really hear the emotion in your voice, too, at different moments. The first section of this book is dedicated to your childhood. You grew up in Mumbai as the youngest of four children with three older half-siblings. Your mother passed away when you were 14, and your father declared that he was done raising kids and he was going to marry you off. You defied him and he kicked you out, and close to two years of homelessness followed. You shared that during that time, the people that looked out for you the most were the street vendors whom your mother had secretly helped and supported. It's really a remarkable, remarkable legacy. What does her legacy mean to you now?
ZG: She believed in paying it forward her whole life. She had a pretty good life until she died suddenly. We were a well-off family, and in India that's not easy, making a life amidst that much poverty, so she was very conscious of always paying it forward. That was very important to her. I feel like somewhere I've carried that ethos in me because as I've grown in comedy, as I've grown in this business, I'm very conscious of “How am I paying it forward to other people who are trying to enter the doors that I've been able to open?” And it is something that I deeply, deeply value. I never thought about whether I got it from my mother. Is it inherited? Is it something I saw in my whole life? But it's very, very personal to me.
"This book itself I've dedicated to American women because I feel such a debt of gratitude to all American women who showed me that I have a voice and I have a right to use it."
My mom was also not somebody who took debts easily from other people. When she took something, she was very bothered about how is she going to pay it back. And that certainly seems to be my personality too. This book itself I've dedicated to American women because I feel such a debt of gratitude to all American women who showed me that I have a voice and I have a right to use it. So, there's a lot of her legacy that lives on in me, even though I've never really thought about it. I mean, I haven't had a mother in over 30 years. So, it's not something I think about much, but the way you asked me, I'm now reflecting and thinking there are a lot of similarities between us.
KO: Yeah, I think that makes a lot of sense. And yes, you've been without your mother for a long time, but you are also a mother yourself. You have three children, and it's clear that you have a deep love for them. What has surprised you the most about parenthood?
ZG: I mean, it's crazy to say this, but it really is an all-encompassing, 24-7, 365-day commitment that you don't know when you're getting into it. You don't know how much, and it's not just the work, it's not the feeding and the cooking and the cleaning. Like, your heart is entangled in it. It's like little pieces of your heart are walking around in other people's bodies, so everything that they feel, everything that they're going through, everything amounts to something inside your heart. You just can't possibly understand that until you are in that situation. I at least didn't.
From the outside, motherhood looked a lot like, "Oh, we're all going to be roommates." And it's so much not that, and truly, I think it's the mother that becomes the glue. I didn't realize what I lost when I lost my mother until I became a mother, honestly. I mean, I lost my security and my safety, and I get that. There was a functional aspect of things that I lost when I lost my mother. But the true depth of what I lost, I didn't realize until after I became a mother and really had to roll up my sleeves and start working at raising my kids.
KO: Yes, and a big part of that, of course, is your partnership, too, with your husband, who I want to talk about for a moment, Shalabh. He answered a very funny ad that you had written seeking a husband, and that sort of developed into a pen-pal relationship to a friendship and, ultimately, love and marriage. But one of my favorite moments, and a moment that you call one of the most romantic moments of your life, was when you were at a dinner party and people were teasing you about your ambition and failed companies that you had tried to get off the ground, and Shalabh interrupted the party to loudly declare, "They're all scared that one day you're going to find your thing, and then you'll be simply unstoppable." What do you hope that your kids take away from your relationship with Shalabh?
ZG: That the friendship is the most important thing. My husband and I, we have a really good friendship based on mutual respect. He and I came to America as broke immigrants, but with ambition, with a determination to work and to really be model students. We love to learn, both of us. And our relationship truly is based on that commonality of purpose, of wanting to build that life together, and I hope that our kids get that from us. I hope that they learn that from us, because I think now I can say, 27 years almost of being married, that that is the most important thing in a marriage.
KO: Yeah, friendship lays such a strong foundation. Absolutely. Speaking of those failed companies, you had 18 failed LLCs while pursuing entrepreneurship. Is there one that you're still like, "Damn, I wish that one had worked out. I can't believe that idea didn't work"?
ZG: There are so many that I don't understand why they didn't work. I don't understand why my vegan chili never took off. It was so amazing. That chili was the best you've ever had, and I'm still perplexed by it. I had a travel toothbrush idea. That was a whole thing that I don't even understand why that didn't take off. But things happen the way they do. I think those things didn't take off so that this could take off. I do know that now. You can't have it all. You have to go through those hits to understand, experience, and even enjoy the successes.
"My relationship with my audience is the most important thing to me in my career, in my business, and I don't want it to be tainted or influenced by other people's ideas and opinions."
KO: One moment in the book that had me rolling was when your mother-in-law called you saying her friends were sending her clips of you calling her the c-word, and you started to explain to her the genre of mother-in-law comedy. Is there anything that you have discussed with your family and deemed off-limits for your comedy?
ZG: No, and I'll tell you why. Including the writing of this book—nobody read this book until it was fully finished. I didn't take anybody's permission. I wanted to write the book I wanted to write. I want to write the jokes I want to write. My relationship with my audience is the most important thing to me in my career, in my business, and I don't want it to be tainted or influenced by other people's ideas and opinions.People, in giving me their time and attention, are giving me their most valuable resource and I respect that deeply.
I think the reason, also, I've never asked my family members for permission is because I think they trust me. They trust that I would never do anything that would harm their interest in any way. Even though I make pretty harsh mother-in-law jokes, my mother-in-law in real life understands what I'm doing. She's a very, very, extremely intelligent woman. Once I explained to her that this is a thing, she got it. She understood fully well what purpose it serves in arts and entertainment, what purpose it serves broadly in the world, and she's on board with it. She herself was traumatized by her mother-in-law, so she gets it.
KO: Who hasn't been? [laughs]
ZG: Who hasn't been? Exactly. And exactly for that reason, everybody should be enjoying this type of comedy, and she gets it.
KO: I love that that trust is there. That's wonderful. And I loved your honesty about fame, that you worked for it and that you welcome it. What has been the most surprising upside to achieving celebrity status?
ZG: All the positives that have come with it, and there's so many. I mean, the simplest upside is that when people see me at an airport or in a subway train or wherever, they just break out into a laugh or a smile. They don't even know why they're smiling.The fact that I am in a position to contribute joy into this world where otherwise it feels like doom and gloom and explosions all over the place, I feel like it's a gift.
And my fame has enabled millions of families all over the world to have conversations with their families about what they want to build together. I'm all about building with my family, and I appreciate that I'm in a position where we are all opening that conversation up, within the South Asian community and within communities at large. Mothers now feel like they can ask their kids for help. That's another thing that I get a lot of, because I talk about how I reached out to my kids and I wanted their help. I don't see anything wrong with it. I feel like that is an Indian tradition that I've brought to the West, and a lot of Western moms are now finding relief in saying, "You know what? I asked my son to help me run my TikTok account." These are all the unexpected gifts that have come out of my career that would never be here if I wasn't doing what I was doing.
KO: It's so unique and it's so special to, as you say, watch you guys build this together. All three of your kids and your husband, they're all on the audiobook as well, and getting to hear their voice and their support and their love behind you was such a treat for the listeners. What do you hope your listeners take away from This American Woman?
ZG: I hope that they believe that whatever it is that they want to do, they can do. Whatever it is. Everybody has that something in their head that they're like, "Could I ever do that? Would I ever do that?" The answer is yes. I really hope that every listener believes, not only can they do it, that it's not too late. That's the other thing. A lot of people will count themselves out before destiny or life counts them out. Don't do that. I like to say that if you win the day before you die, you still won. There is no end game here.
"I hope that every listener who listens to this and listens to my book believes that no matter their age, and no matter their circumstances, they should take that shot in life, because you just don't know what's on the other side of it."
I didn't realize that I came to comedy late until a journalist pointed it out to me at an interview, because I was just so consumed with doing it. I didn't pay attention. Life worked out the way it did for me. I hope that every listener who listens to this and listens to my book believes that no matter their age, and no matter their circumstances, they should take that shot in life, because you just don't know what's on the other side of it. It could be a victory. It could be a transformation. Even a loss, honestly, even losing something and taking a shot is a victory, because you worked your muscle and you overcame that fear of being able to take that shot.
KO: Amen. You were very motivating to me as I was listening as well. You have your memoir. You just released your first movie: A Nice Indian Boy. You’re working on different TV projects. But what is next for you? What are you excited about that’s on the horizon?
ZG: So many things. I have a comedy special dropping in July, Practical People Win, on Hulu. And that's my next hour, to follow up the hour that I have on Amazon Prime. I have another TV show that I'm working on, an unscripted TV show. I'm writing new material for my third hour. I'm touring all over the country with my comedy. I'm opening for Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, again now for the second year. So, the work continues.
KO: That's amazing. Well, we all can't wait to continue watching the ride and continue watching your rise.
ZG: Thank you. Thank you so much. I really appreciate you taking the time to give me this platform. I hope people love the audiobook. We put a lot of heart into reading it with emotion, with passion, and particularly my husband's essay about his viewpoint of watching his wife go from being stuck to where I am now. His essay actually made me weep, because I didn't know what he was writing either. He was very much like, "You didn't ask me to check, so I'm not going to ask you to check." I heard it for the first time when he actually recorded it. I mean, it was eye-opening, it was gut-wrenching, it was everything. All things for me.
KO: It was beautiful. It was beautiful to listen to. It was one of the many moments that brought me to tears. I wanted to tell you, because everywhere I go and people find out that I have four boys, they say, "When are you going to have your girl?" And I'm like, "If I tell Zarna Garg that I have four boys, she'll just—"
ZG: Four boys!? Yeah, you're a hero in India and you don't even know it [laughs].
KO: [Laughs] Thank you for that. I appreciate it. Enjoy the launch of your book, and I hope it is as well-received as it deserves to be.
ZG: Thank you. Thank you so much.
KO: And listeners, you can get This American Woman by Zarna Garg right now on Audible.
