Summary
Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood is a groundbreaking self-help for women who are repeatedly drawn to troubled, emotionally unavailable, and sometimes abusive men. A licensed marriage and family therapist, Norwood traces this unhealthy pattern to unresolved childhood issues, arguing that, for these women, being in love often equates to being in pain. Beyond identifying the problem, the book offers a specific program for recovery, empowering women to break the cycle of destructive relationships and seek out healthy, loving attachments. Published in 1985, Women Who Love Too Much sparked widespread discussion about codependency and relationship dynamics, inspired numerous support groups, and became a #1 New York Times bestseller.
Plot
Women Who Love Too Much explores the patterns of behavior and thought processes that lead certain women into unhealthy, painful romantic relationships. The book focuses on women who find themselves repeatedly drawn to troubled, emotionally unavailable, or otherwise unsuitable partners, often as a result of unresolved childhood issues.
Drawing on her work as a marriage and family therapist, Robin Norwood describes how these women tend to prioritize “having somebody to love” above all else in their lives. They often believe that finding “the right man” will solve their emotional problems, such as depression or loneliness. Paradoxically, they may find themselves bored by kind, honest, and dependable partners, instead gravitating towards those who cause them pain.
The author presents this tendency to “love too much” as a form of addiction, comparing it to other destructive behaviors. Women caught in this pattern may find themselves struggling desperately to make doomed relationships work, often at great personal cost. Norwood explores how this behavior is rooted in childhood experiences and becomes a repetitive cycle in adulthood.
While much of the book is devoted to identifying and understanding this pattern, Norwood also offers a specific program for recovery. She provides guidance for women to recognize their destructive relationship patterns and take steps towards healthier, more fulfilling romantic connections. The book aims to help readers break free from the cycle of loving too much and develop more balanced approaches to love and relationships.