In Money Together, Douglas and Heather Boneparth draw on their personal experiences as well as relationship and financial advice to explore what we have to gain when we tackle our finances as a team. In this Q&A, the couple shares how the process of writing Money Together shaped their relationship, the importance of recognizing your partner’s individuality, and how open dialogue with your partner can help create the lifestyle you want.
Rachael Xerri: Listening to Money Together allows listeners to feel like they're part of an intimate conversation about money. As a couple who both wrote and spoke about such a taboo topic, what do you hope listeners will take away from your audiobook?
Heather: Money’s not just money. It’s personal. It takes real courage to open doors when you may not know (or wish to know) what’s on the other side. But everyone has beliefs and values and dreams that form their approach to money, and they don’t just disappear because you love someone. You both bring them along. That’s what makes this so hard.
I hope listeners can access more empathy for themselves and their partners, because that empathy can build a bridge for the hard conversations you need to be having right now and the unexpected choices that will present themselves in life. And when they do—because they always do—I want listeners to find that they’ve created enough room for each other’s feelings, opinions, and needs. To us, couple equity begins right here.
Doug: In a world where financial stress undermines so many relationships, I want listeners to discover that it doesn’t have to be that way. At the heart of Money Together is the belief that when couples intentionally build a practice around money, they create something far more powerful than just financial stability. They find greater fairness and deeper trust in each other.
Through the real stories of couples and lessons shared from our own lives, we show how money can transform from being a source of tension to the very foundation of true teamwork. I hope every listener feels inspired to have those open, honest conversations with their partner. Conversations that are both meaningful and reoccurring. Ultimately, I want listeners to walk away empowered to explore their shared relationship with money in a way that strengthens both their perspective and love for one another.
Money Together incorporates your personal experiences, insights from other couples, and guidance from financial and relationship experts. Was there anything you learned from conversations with other couples or experts that inspired you to visit something in your personal conversations about finances?
Heather: Several of my interviews with clinical psychologists and family therapists took more personal turns than I had expected. It felt like I was piecing together elements of my own childhood in real time. I wanted to break the fourth wall and let listeners in on those moments to highlight the humility in this work. Without acknowledging the human side of money, shame can take root and the damaging messages we tell ourselves will never change.
Meanwhile, the couples we interviewed provided me with great perspective on our financial lives. We asked almost every person we interviewed whether they had “enough.” Some people had these laundry lists of home improvements and vacations. One entrepreneur was brought to tears by the prospect of having to define “enough” for herself. And many couples of modest means could answer that question without hesitation: yes, they had enough. They had large, loving circles of support. Maybe they had faith. They had each other. I’m so grateful to have met them, because they reframed my thinking around what matters most.
"When couples intentionally build a practice around money, they create something far more powerful than just financial stability."
Doug: Oh, absolutely. After interviewing so many couples for the book, I was really struck by all the different approaches people take. For some couples, the conversations flowed naturally, while others struggled to meaningfully connect. What stood out most, however, was that the most successful couples never insisted that one of their individual ways was “the only way” to go about things. Instead, they made the effort to understand how their partner naturally learned and communicated, then they met them right there in that space.
This moved us to take a fresh look at how we speak to each other about money. We started paying closer attention to the time and place we’re meeting to have these conversations, so that neither of us feel overwhelmed or distracted. We also frame our big talks around wins—what’s gone right—and then we dive into where we need to improve. And to the point above, I meet Heather where she is. If something’s not working for her, we try new ways.
Heather and Doug, as co-authors of Money Together, you literally gave voice to this audiobook. How did narrating your own personal financial stories and vulnerabilities compare to writing about them?
Heather: By the time I narrated the audiobook, I had already sat with the emotional moments in our book for a long time. There were many walks, many conversations, many opportunities to edit and craft stories we felt were accurate and beneficial for the audience without centering ourselves too much. I also read my work aloud as I write, so I had a pretty clear vision for how I wanted the manuscript to land.
That being said, nothing prepares you for when you’re in the recording booth and you know certain passages are coming up that make you emotional. Sometimes, I would pause to gain my composure. Other times, I let my feelings bleed through to connect with the listener. The whole experience was something else. I’m so grateful for everyone who encouraged me to do it.
How did you decide who would narrate?
Heather: A big theme in Money Together is to make room for your partner. Douglas has been a financial expert for a long time, and though he came into this project with robust experience, we agreed the book should be written from my point of view. He made that room for me. It only made sense that our audiobook should follow that same sentiment.
Even though this isn’t an audiobook exclusively for women, I know a lot of women will find pieces of themselves in my story. And I think women need to hear some of this from other women. We need that sisterhood to acknowledge certain things and advocate for more out of our own lives, and more out of our spouses.
"And if your partner is hesitant, just play the audiobook over your home speaker!"
Doug: Since the book is written in Heather’s voice, it only made sense that she should narrate it. She did such a phenomenal job. There’s so much emotion to express throughout the book, and that really comes through with Heather’s narration. However, each of the book’s five sections end with a handful of questions that listeners can ask their partners to facilitate deeper conversations around money, and I got to narrate them. While my time in the recording studio may have been limited, I am glad I got to leave my mark.
Is there anything else you would like to share with our listeners?
Heather: You and your partner are two individuals—not one homogeneous blob. Your power stems from your own personal understanding of money: your values, your convictions, your dreams. Giving that away will cost you; if not now, then someday. Imagine how powerful your partnership can be when you both have the self-awareness, education, and perspective to make decisions together. You can be unstoppable. And if your partner is hesitant, just play the audiobook over your home speaker!
Doug: The plot of the story can change. So can you. Life throws new chapters at us all the time: falling in love, moving cities, shifting careers, having kids, caring for aging parents, watching your dreams change, you name it. What we need from our money (and each other) evolves right along with these chapters. This is why building a regular practice to talk about money with your partner matters so much. When you’re both making the effort, you give yourselves the opportunity to make your partnership strong enough for whatever chapter comes next.
