More than ever, we need parents and caregivers who are willing to live their experiences raising neurodivergent children out loud. Authors and friends Kate Swenson, Carrie Cariello, and Adrian Wood are doing just that: sharing their lived experiences about raising their autistic sons. Part memoir, part handbook, Autism Out Loud is a warm, moving, and unique look at what it means to navigate through the world when someone you love is neurodivergent.
Katie O’Connor: How did you three first connect, and what made you decide to write Autism Out Loud together?
Adrian Wood: Kate invited Carrie and I on a video together maybe six years ago. We began doing weekly videos together and established a following. Kate’s agent approached Kate with the idea of us writing a book together, and we composed a proposal!
Carrie Cariello: I first met Kate virtually when I sent her a message over Facebook. To my surprise, she responded, and we were off and running with texts and conversations. I met Adrian when Kate invited us both to do a Facebook Live. After building a friendship for years, we realized our community needed to hear our stories combined into one book—the closest thing to a handbook that is available.
Kate Swenson: We met on Facebook! Social media can get such a bad rap, but, truly, when you are isolated in your home it can be a blessing. Carrie and I found each other first, and then I found Adrian doing a video that made me laugh out loud! From there a friendship was formed.
What was the one resource you wished you’d had when you first learned of your child’s diagnosis?
Wood: This book! In all seriousness, I went straight to Barnes & Noble looking for “my book.” There was nothing on the shelf related to autism, and so this is the resource I longed to have.
Cariello: I wish I knew someone who was ahead of me on the journey—the "old mom" who could tell me what to expect when it came to things like medication, puberty, and life after high school. I am the "old mom" now!
Swenson: When Cooper was diagnosed, I prayed for one other mom and family that I could look to. I felt so isolated.
What do you think is the most common misconception about autism?
Wood: That it’s bad. Disabilities are different and can be hard, but not bad.
Cariello: People often comment that kids like my son Jack seem "checked out" or unengaged. They attribute it to a lack of interest in the world around them. I think the opposite is true. They are so deeply dialed in to our nervous systems—our voices, the smell of our perfume or cologne, the movement of our eye contact—that they retreat in order to regulate.
Swenson: I think the biggest misconception about autism is that it looks one way. Whether it be Rain Man or Love on the Spectrum, autism can look a million different ways. And so often my son Cooper’s is overlooked. There is a saying: “If you’ve met one person with autism ... you’ve met one person with autism.”
What would you like to say to parents who are new to life on the spectrum?
Wood: You can do this. You will make it through the rough patches and find joy in the smallest successes.
Cariello: It's going to be okay. It might be messy and challenging and unexpected, but it will be okay.
Swenson: So many things. It gets better. Hang in there. Find community. You are not alone. And it’s going to be a joyful life. I promise.
