Editor Alanna: Jennifer Hale

Though I spent a bulk of my childhood parked elbow-to-elbow with my older brother in front of the television as we white-knuckled our controllers, I found myself playing fewer and fewer video games as I got older. But then I came across Mass Effect, a trilogy of games that melded the very best of introspective sci-fi with a role-playing flair that allowed me to make real-time decisions directly impacting both my mission and my team of beloved compatriots. (RIP, Mordin Solus.) But what really pulled me in was the stellar voice-work by Jennifer Hale. Hale brought a kind of depth and dynamism to Commander Shepard, the heroine that the player embodies, balancing Shep’s wicked sense of humor with her moral compass and the love and loyalty she has for her crew. I later dug deeper into Hale’s filmography and was stunned at how many times I’d heard her voice before. And let’s face it, if there’s someone out there to voice my admittedly geeky life story, it’s gotta be the icon who brought not only FemShep, but Hex Girl Thorn, Avatar Kyoshi, and Jedi Master Aayla Secura to life.

Editor Patty: Tyler Perry

When I think of my favorite listens, my mind always jumps to Tyler Perry’s Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings. The narrator is none other than Tyler Perry—in his full Madea voice. I walked away with some great life advice, in a way only Madea could deliver. “Be who you is... who you are, im sorry!” is the type of random yet useful life advice that kept me laughing so hard I cried. I want anyone listening to my story to laugh, get random life advice, and enjoy themselves. There’s no better person to narrate my life’s story than a person who lives by the motto "Sometimes life is hard, and you have to laugh your way through it." I love Madea's mispronunciation of words and delivery, and I'll also confess that I'd love to hear her take a crack at my occasional Boston accent. Her sideline critiques would add a comedic relief that would hopefully keep you laughing, even in the more serious moments of my story.

Editor Kat: Simon Vance

I’m not British, nor am I one of those Americans who thinks everything sounds better in a British accent. But there’s something about Simon Vance, who I first heard narrating Richard Lloyd Parry’s Ghosts of the Tsunami, about the deadly 2011 earthquake and tsunami in Japan. Always at a bit of a respectful remove, yet suffusing each word with an innate command of its intent, Vance told the story with a tone that matched the author’s perfectly: compelling, gentle, empathetic, precise. I soon devoured his reading of Parry’s People Who Eat Darkness, and here too, Vance’s impeccable narration enhanced the rigorous reporting and compassion with which Parry approached the life and death of an unlucky young woman in Tokyo. Although my real life, alas, is more likely to resemble a mild rom-com or realist domestic drama, my fantasy audio memoir would be as twisty and unpauseable as the crime stories and journalistic nonfiction I listen to myself. With Vance at the helm—or, wait, maybe Scott Brick or Erika Alexander, two of my other favorite voices in true crime!—I could rest assured my story would sound gripping, authentic, and totally authoritative.

Editor Rachael: Nancy Cartwright

I grew up on The Simpsons. Every night after dinner, my brother and I would gather around our bulbous TV to take in the antics of America’s favorite dysfunctional family. We did more than just laugh along with each joke—we identified with Bart and Lisa. I was the older, more responsible, sensitive, straight-A student. My brother was the funny troublemaker who struggled in his classes, rode around on a skateboard, and occasionally fell into the wrong crowds. While Nancy Cartwright doesn’t perform as Lisa Simpson (that would be Yeardley Smith), she does perform many of Springfield’s residents: Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Todd Flanders, and Ralph Wiggum, just to name a few. I can’t imagine someone more capable of capturing the many dynamic voices present in my life than her.

Editor Katie: Julia Whelan

How could I not pick Julia? We’re both English major creative types with a passion for audio storytelling. Julia studied at Oxford, and I also studied at…OK, technically in…Oxford. But I still had a card that could get me into the Bodleian! I digress. In addition to being an accomplished narrator, Julia is an acclaimed author and I’m…aspiring to be one. I make up voices to keep my family laughing, and Julia is…a trained professional who has yet to do a voice or an accent that I don’t immediately believe when I hear it. We have another thing in common: we’re both unfortunate members of the Dead Dad’s Club. The way Julia handles grief in her debut My Oxford Year resonated so deeply with me that I know she could effortlessly handle that part of my story. And now when I’m working on my own novels, more often than not it’s Julia’s voice that I hear when I imagine my characters coming to life. Here’s to one day!

Editor Jerry: Matt Bomer

Of course it feels selfish and egotistical to pick one of the hunkiest actors around to voice my life story. Sure, he was dreamy in White Collar and ripped in Magic Mike, but anyone who watched him play Negative Man on the HBO Max series Doom Patrol—in which he voices the character that's entirely wrapped in bandages (except when we see him portray Larry Trainor in flashbacks)—knows his vocal greatness even when they're not looking at the pecs and abs. But Matt fits the brief in so many other personal ways as well. First, I knew my narrator had to be an out gay man. Plus, Matt and I were born the same year, both acted in high school and college (although I took a different path later in life), and share several similar queer coming-of-age stories, including finding Larry Kramer's The Normal Heart as a teen and having it transform our lives. When he met the playwright to lobby for the role of Felix in Ryan Murphy's screen adaptation of the landmark AIDS-era play, Bomer said: "I was pretty starstruck. It was like meeting one of the Beatles. He was so central to my understanding and development." That's how I felt the first time I met Kramer in person, so I know Matt would get my emotional story arc, embody it with wit and gravitas, and seduce listeners into wanting to hear more.