Previously published as The Devil Inside Me by Joshua T Berglan.

The original edition of The Devil Inside Me reached #1 bestseller status in four countries. Now, Joshua T Berglan returns with a deeply revised and expanded second edition of the story that exposed his darkest truths.

What happens when the most dangerous person in your life is the one staring back at you?

In this brutally honest memoir, Joshua confronts more than thirty years of trauma, addiction, sexual compulsion, infidelity, manipulation, crime, illness, fractured identity, and self-destruction. Told through a series of raw, intensely personal episodes, The Devil Inside Me follows a wounded child desperate to escape his pain as he becomes a man capable of devastating the people who loved him most—including himself.

Nothing is softened, sanitized, or offered as an excuse.

From childhood abandonment and sexual violation to drugs, betrayal, fatherhood, HIV, incarceration, and the consequences of a lifetime spent running, Joshua examines the experiences that shaped him and the choices that nearly destroyed everything. He acknowledges the people he harmed, accepts responsibility for his actions, and exposes the seductive nature of the darkness that once offered him pleasure, confidence, and temporary relief.

This is not a carefully packaged redemption story in which every demon conveniently disappears. It is an unfiltered account of the continuing battle between the man Joshua is becoming and the destructive impulses that once controlled him. Faith gave him a path forward, but healing required the courage to stop hiding, confront the truth, and take responsibility for what he had done.

Graphic, disturbing, heartbreaking, darkly humorous, and unexpectedly hopeful, The Devil Inside Me is an examination of trauma, accountability, faith, and transformation. It is a warning about what can happen when pain is buried—and a testimony to what becomes possible when a person finally chooses to face it.

Content advisory: This book contains explicit accounts of childhood trauma, sexual abuse, drug use, compulsive sexual behavior, domestic abuse, self-harm, incarceration, illness, and other mature subject matter. Reader discretion is strongly advised.