Why does talk in families so often go in circles, leaving us tied up in knots? Linguist Deborah Tannen reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic - even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages.