Dr. Tannen illustrates how the best intentions can go painfully awry between spouses, family members, co-workers and friends. With You Just Don't Understand, you'll recognize yourself and your own efforts to be understood - and gain valuable insight to help you communicate better.
The following series of lectures draws on linguistics, or the scientific study of language, to show the many ways in which language has a profound effect upon human relationships. These lectures address the various aspects and implications of what Professor Tannen calls "conversational style". It also looks at the dynamics of specific situations such as the workplace and classroom where the role of conversational style is of particular importance.
"Helpful Perceptions, not Scienctic Study"
You say something at a meeting and it is ignored; then when someone else says the same thing, everyone embraces it as a marvelous idea. You devote yourself to a project, but don't get credit for the results. You give what you think are clear instructions, but the job is not done, or done wrong.... Now, Deborah Tannen brings to the workplace the same voice, eye, and insight that made That's Not What I Meant! and You Just Don't Understand best-selling classics.
"Points out the problem but no solutions offered"
You know the feeling: You thought you said exactly what you wanted to, but somehow a different message comes across. You end up feeling misunderstood...and the relationship that you're building -- at home, on the job, on a date, or in an interview -- slips a little further out of your control.
"Insightful, As Always"
This best selling audio program has revolutionized the way men and women talk and listen to each other - at home, at work, and wherever the communications gap between the sexes can lead to troublesome misunderstandings.
From the best selling author of You Just Don't Understand comes another groundbreaking examination of the way we communicate - in public, in the media, in politics, in our courtrooms and classrooms - letting us see in a new way forces that are powerfully shaping our lives.
"My goal in this series, in addition to illuminating the patterns of women's and men's uses of language, is to enhance understanding of how language works in everyday life. I am told by students who have taken my courses that this understanding helps them in their everyday lives, as every aspect of our lives involves talking to people of the other sex - in our personal relationships, our families, at work, and in trying to get just about anything done."
"Kind of revelatory, at least for me"
New York Times best-selling author Deborah Tannen is renowned for illuminating the way we communicate - and revolutionizing relationships in the process. What she did for women and men in You Just Don't Understand, and mothers and daughters in You're Wearing THAT?, she now does for sisters in a groundbreaking book that explores one of the most powerful and perplexing relationships in our lives.
"A must read/listen for anyone with a sister!"
Fighting with your spouse? Scolding the children? Conflicting with your siblings? Linguist Deborah Tannen explains what's actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control. For more on understanding communication, we recommend Difficult Conversations.
"Sounded like she knew my family!"
It was Tannen who first showed us that men and women speak different languages. Mothers and daughters speak the same language, but still often misunderstand each other, as they struggle to find the right balance between closeness and independence. Both mothers and daughters want to be seen for who they are, but tend to see the other as falling short of who she should be. Each overestimates the other's power and underestimates her own.
""You're Wearing That?""