Williamsburg, Brooklyn, is the center of the hipster universe, and the members of the Whole Sick Crew are its shining stars. The gang includes Wolfgang, a heavy metal musician and high school guidance counselor who supplies coke to his charges; Rad, a doctor obsessed with obscure new wave songs who has a bad habit of cutting himself when he's stressed; Beth Ann, the neighborhood's queen knitter who's slowly going blind and Harrison, a museum curator moonlighting as a writer of highly prized porn.
Leigh Tiller has just been kidnapped. The beautiful, ineffably cool New York socialite is being held by a group of mentally ill terrorists who've demanded millions in ransom from Leigh's wealthy father. There's just one problem: Kip Tiller doesn't want Leigh back. He wants her dead. And he's hired The Serologist - a psychotic, patchwork-scarred hit man - to make sure it happens. Leigh's unlikely savior is Laser Mechanic, the coolly brilliant leader of the guerrilla art collective, Strategic Art Defence.