Choose us. Choose life. Choose mortgage payments; choose washing machines; choose cars; choose sitting oan a couch watching mind-numbing and spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing f****n junk food intae yir mooth. Choose rotting away, pishing and shiteing yersel in a home, a total f***n embarrassment tae the selfish, f****d-up brats ye've produced. Choose life.
"Powerful, Profane and Profound"
Irvine Welsh, author of Trainspotting, joins Robin Morgan in the Audible Studios to discuss his latest book The Blade Artist, his involvement in the Trainspotting film sequel, and why he is inspired by bad writing.
Marked by Irvine Welsh’s scabrous humor and raw Scottish vernacular, Skagboys transports us to 1980s Edinburgh, where the Trainspotting crew is just getting started. Mark Renton has it all: the first in his family to attend university, he has a pretty girlfriend and a great social life. But when economic uncertainties and family problems intervene, Rent succumbs to the defeatism - not to mention the drug use - that has taken hold in Edinburgh’s tougher quarters. His friends are responding according to personality....
"Something to know first for the audible crowd"
When Lucy Brennan, a Miami Beach personal-fitness trainer, disarms an apparently crazed gunman chasing two frightened homeless men along a deserted causeway at night, the police and the breaking-news cameras are not far behind. Within hours, Lucy becomes a hero. Her celebrity is short-lived, though: the "crazed gunman", turns out to be a victim of child sexual abuse and the two men are serial pedophiles.
"A really great examination of what makes us"
Porno is a novel about the Trainspotting crew 10 years further down the line: still scheming, still scamming, still trying to fight for the first-class seats as the locomotive careens at high speed towards the buffers.
"More skagboy fun, less depth than Trainspotting"
Juice is a man who contains multitudes: He's a top shagger; a drug-dealing, gonzo porn star; and taxi driver. As we ride along in Juice's cab through the depraved streets of Edinburgh, Juice encounters a series of charmingly filthy characters, all of whom present their own, uh, unique challenges. Has he finally met his match in Hurricane "Bawbag"? Can he discover the fate of the missing beauty, Jinty Magdalen, and keep her idiot-savant lover, the man-child Wee Jonty, out of prison?
"doesn't compare to Filth"
In Elspeth's Boyfriend, you can enjoy Christmas dinner with Begbie from the infamous Trainspotting, and see how warmly Franco greets his sister’s boyfriend and the news of their engagement. Hilarious, shocking, and hugely entertaining, Elspeth's Boyfriend has all the classic Irvine Welsh ingredients.
Glue is the story of four boys growing up in the Edinburgh schemes, and about the loyalties, the experiences, and the secrets that hold them together into their 30s. Four boys becoming men: Juice Terry, the work-shy fanny-merchant, with corkscrew curls and sticky fingers; Billy the boxer, driven, controlled, playing to his strengths; Carl, the Milky Bar Kid, drifting along to his own soundtrack; and the doomed Gally, who seems to find catastrophe at every corner.
"I liked it"
Mark Renton sollte glücklich sein. Er ist jung, smart, hat eine hübsche Freundin und Spaß am Studium. Doch im Großbritannien der Achtziger ist kein Platz für ihn und seine Freunde. Man hat ihnen Arbeit, Bildung und Wohlstand versprochen, aber nun ist niemand da, um diese Versprechen auch einzulösen. Als Marks Familie auf tragische Weise zerbricht, gerät sein Leben außer Kontrolle. Dies ist die Geschichte der jugendlichen Außenseiter Mark Renton, Spud Murphy, Franco Begbie und Sick Boy.
A rampaging force of nature is wreaking havoc on the streets of Edinburgh, but has top shagger, drug dealer, gonzo-porn star and taxi driver, ‘Juice’ Terry Lawson finally met his match in Hurricane ‘Bawbag’?Can Terry discover the fate of the missing beauty, Jinty Magdalen, and keep her idiot-savant lover, the man-child Wee Jonty, out of prison? Will he find out the real motives of unscrupulous American businessman and reality-TV star Ronald Checker?
One for the Trouble: Book Slam, Volume One is the first release from the UK’s premier literary event. Eighteen Book Slam alumni, from household names like Irvine Welsh and William Boyd to newcomers like Kate Tempest and Sophie Woolley, were approached to take a song title for inspiration for a new short story or poem. Some took this literally (Jon McGregor’s moving reimagining of A House’s 'Endless Art', for example); others suggestively....
Mark Renton is a very sick young man. He's sick of heroin and sick of trying to get off it but, above all, Renton is thoroughly sick of himself. What with vampire ghost babies, exploding siblings and disatorous sexual encounters, it's pain to see why Renton gloomily contends that 'life does not get any easier'.
"Why No UNabridged Version?"
When Lucy Brennan, a Miami Beach personal-fitness trainer, disarms a gunman chasing two frightened homeless men, the police and the breaking-news cameras are not far behind and, within hours, Lucy is a media hero. The solitary eye-witness is the depressed and overweight Lena Sorensen, who becomes obsessed with Lucy and signs up as her client - though she seems more interested in the trainer’s body than her own. When the two women find themselves more closely aligned, and can’t stop thinking about the sex lives of Siamese twins, the real problems start....
Jim Francis has finally found the perfect life - and is now unrecognisable, even to himself. A successful painter and sculptor, he lives quietly with his wife, Melanie, and their two young daughters in an affluent beach town in California. Some say he's a fake and a con man while others see him as a genuine visionary. But Francis has a very dark past, with another identity and a very different set of values.
"Welsh's best work since "Crime""
Mark Renton has it all: He's good-looking, young, with a pretty girlfriend and a place at university. But there's no room for him in the 1980s.Thatcher's government is destroying working-class communities across Britain, and the post-war certainties of full employment, educational opportunity and a welfare state are gone. When his family starts to fracture, Mark's life swings out of control and he succumbs to the defeatism which has taken hold in Edinburgh's grimmer areas.
"Excellent but not for the faint hearted"
With the festive season almost upon him, Detective Sergeant Bruce Robertson is winding down at work and gearing up socially - kicking off Christmas with a week of sex and drugs in Amsterdam. There are irritating flies in the ointment, though, including a missing wife, a nagging cocaine habit, a dramatic deterioration in his genital health, a string of increasingly demanding extra-marital affairs. The last thing he needs is a messy murder to solve.
The characters in this extraordinary book are often - on the surface - depraved, vicious, cowardly and manipulative, but their essential humanity is never undermined. Two professors of philosophy turn pugilists; Leith removal men become the objects of desire for Hollywood goddesses; God turns Boab Coyle into a house-fly; and in the novella, 'A Smart Cunt', the drug-addled young hero spins off on a collision course with his past.
A hard drinking, hard fighting builder has a nasty accident when in bed with his best-mate's sister. Little does he know what 'punishment' awaits him on the other side....
Hilarious, shocking and hugely entertaining, 'Catholic Guilt' has all the classic Irvine Welsh ingredients.
Two guys fighting over a beautiful girl might agree – on reflection, and after a few pills and many pints of lager – that their friendship is actually more important than a woman. Hilarious, shocking and hugely entertaining, 'Victor Spoils' has all the classic Irvine Welsh ingredients.
In 'A Fault on the Line' you will meet a husband who values a televised Hibs v Hearts game more than his wife’s life.This short story features in the collection 'Reheated Cabbage' and is available unabridged on audio for the first time. Hilarious, shocking and hugely entertaining, it has all the classic Irvine Welsh ingredients.