Showing results by narrator "Christopher John Fetherolf" in All Categories

Get ready to scream with laughter with the Bill of the Dead Saga - books 9-12 of the hilarious Tome of Bill Series – over 40 hours of horror comedy.

My name's Mike Walden and I’m a trash collector from rural Pennsylvania. I have a good job, friends, and a family I adore. There’s just one small problem. I’m a werewolf with a split personality. Winston, as I call my inner wolf, is not only awake and aware, he’s somehow in control of half my body. Worse, this hound from Hell’s got an appetite for household pets and zero regard for human life. He’s dead set on being top dog in this relationship and it’s all I can do to keep this savage beast at bay.

My name’s Bill Ryder and, despite being a legendary predator of the night, I’m not having the best of days. My girlfriend is trapped in another dimension, my apartment’s being staked out by werewolves, and to top it all off I’m flat broke. Too bad there’s no rest for the wicked. Monstrous beasts of biblical proportions have been unleashed upon the world, leaving me with a mighty big question. How the hell is one poor-ass vampire supposed to stop something the size of a battleship?

My name’s Bill Ryder and I’m having a hell of a week. Magic is back, my new roommate is a blob of yellow snot, and my friend Sally has been entombed alive in solid rock. Oh, and I’m dead again, or undead anyway. Life’s not quite finished taking a dump on me yet, though, because now something is hunting vampires in New York City. A smarmy-ass wizard has been called in to investigate – one who’s got a closet full of skeletons and eyes for my girlfriend.

Before he was trying to save the world, he just wanted to save his own ass. Bill Ryder has a problem: the vampires under his rule don't respect him. Unfortunately, in the world of the supernatural, that makes him as good as dead.

Ed Vesser feels trapped by his life - literally. He’s being held prisoner by a would-be world conqueror. All he wants is to escape back to his fiancé, assuming she doesn’t dump his ass when she finds out he’s a vampire. Serena Taylor’s a witch with a knack for technomancy - using her magic to help deliver unreal profit margins. Too bad she’ll need to put in some overtime thanks to long-lost dryads and undead goons breathing down her neck.

Gamer-turned-vampire Bill Ryder would rather play D&D than take this supernatural crap seriously. Too bad the ancient horrors threatening the world don’t appreciate his attitude. Now he’s got a choice: face his destiny, or let the Earth become a living Hell along with his social life.

My name’s Bill Ryder and, oddly enough, my lack of heartbeat is probably the least concerning thing in my life right now. My witch girlfriend has been marked for death by a vampire temptress who wants me for herself. With both sides spoiling for a fight, the chances of them talking out their problems over tea are slim.

Gamer, geek, and vampire – Bill Ryder was a normal guy who's now trying to survive in a world of abnormal horrors. Despite awesome powers and a Brooklyn-sized attitude, the odds are stacked heavily against him. Bill must fulfill his destiny and save the world from the ancient terrors threatening it – all while trying to build some semblance of a social life.

My name's Bill Ryder and I have no life, but not because I enjoy video games or D&D. I literally have no heartbeat thanks to the night I met Sally. She was too good to be true, a woman to die for. So I did, bleeding out with my throat torn open. Problem is, I didn't stay dead. Now I'm a vampire, surrounded by other vamps who are stronger and faster – not to mention better looking. It's enough to give a guy a complex. Worse, their leader, a douche called Night Razor, can't stand me.

My name’s Bill Ryder. Five years ago, I helped banish magic and monsters to the shadows. I thought it was over, that I was finished with all that supernatural crap. Turns out I was dead wrong.

When her nest is destroyed and her forever mate slaughtered, Zephyr Ignitus, the last of an ancient breed of fire-breathing dragon, gathers together a team of saber-toothed panthers, woolly mammoths, and a crew of howler monkeys brandishing swords and weapons stolen from the ships of men, all to hunt down and scorch the evil beast-killing wizard that did her wrong.

My name’s Bill Ryder, and I’m in way over my head. My problems include an egomaniacal goddess, a supernatural war against the Sasquatch clans, and an end-of-the-world prophecy I’m expected to fulfill. That’s a lot to heap on anyone’s plate, much less an undead programmer from Brooklyn.

My name's Bill Ryder and six months ago I died. However, as you’ve probably already guessed, I didn't stay dead. No, I woke up a vampire, freshly recruited into a coven of immortal assholes. I thought I'd earned a break after defeating our former master, with maybe a tiny bit of help from my friends, but no such luck.

Book three in Joe Nobody's popular series continues the saga of Bishop and Terri, as their post-apocalyptic world attempts to recover. Caught up in a power struggle to lead the recovery, the young couple are drawn away from their West Texas retreat and must use all of their skills to survive. The year is 2015 and the government of the United States has all but ceased to exist. The military controls some of the larger cities, but its loyalties are divided between the President of the United States and a new, growing organization called The Independents.

My name’s Bill Ryder and three months ago I was utterly consumed by the evil within me. Now I’m back, having awakened halfway across the globe and with no clue as to how I got here. The only thing I’m certain of is my captors don’t care how much blood they spill so long as they recruit me to their insane cause.

My name’s Bill Ryder and, despite being undead, I program games for a living. That means I’m mostly content to stay at home, do my job, and not go on stupid adventures. Or at least that was the case. Now, a war is brewing between ancient enemies from the dawn of time. If it can’t be stopped, the veil will be lifted and all of humanity’s darkest nightmares will be unleashed to wreak havoc. That's where I come in.

My name’s Bill Ryder and I’m told I have an important destiny. I just didn’t expect it to involve an amnesiac bloodsucker, my old D&D group, and a pregnant witch. Whatever the case, it’s finally time for me to accept the prophecy hanging over my head – stupid as it might be. Ordered to storm the vampire stronghold in Boston, I’ll need to confront an invincible undead warlord. He’s everything I’m not – strong, ruthless, and possessing six-pack abs. Worse, he’s about to unleash a godlike being of unimaginable power.

My name’s Bill Ryder and my cold dead heart is all aflutter, metaphorically speaking anyway. See, the girl I want is deadly to me. But the girl who wants me is deadly to everyone else. I’m trapped in a lethal love triangle and it’s about to get worse. On the eve of war, The Icon – prophesized slayer of the vampire race – has appeared. Panic is about to break out within the ranks of the undead and I’m caught smack dab in the middle of it. She and I are locked in a cataclysmic collision course with destiny, but there’s one small catch.

It's a nice house on a country road. Jack and Erika Harris expect to be happy there. It doesn't matter that they're living in a deserted suburb where, years ago, murders and mutilations destroyed the residents. It doesn't matter...until those that caused the deaths come back - those that sprang from the earth. Those that need. Those that are not human. The Harris's nice house stands between them and what they must have. Nothing has ever mattered more.