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Bill the Vampire
- The Tome of Bill, Book 1
- Narrated by: Christopher John Fetherolf
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
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Bill the Vampire
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Publisher's summary
THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. HE'S NOT ONE OF THEM.
Loud-mouthed gamer Bill Ryder thought the dice had finally rolled in his favor when he met Sally. Sadly, his triumph quickly turned into a critical failure–leaving him at death’s door with his throat torn out.
Now he’s a vampire, trapped in a world of monsters that are stronger, deadlier, and a hell of a lot cooler. They’re giving him just ninety days to prove he has what it takes to be an apex predator of the night, assuming he doesn’t give them a reason to dust his ass sooner.
This game isn't over yet, though. Turns out a vamp like Bill hasn’t been seen in centuries. He’s got a few tricks up his sleeve, unexpected allies, and an attitude that's too obnoxious to quit. He’ll need all that and more if he doesn’t want to end up even deader than last time.
Join him in this hilarious tale of bloodthirsty beasts, gory mayhem, and an unlikely hero who's still at the bottom of the food chain.
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Bram Stoker meets The Big Bang Theory in Bill The Vampire–book one of The Tome of Bill, the vampire comedy series that’ll leave you thirsting for more.
Perfect for fans of Shayne Silvers, Steve McHugh, Jim Butcher, and What We Do in the Shadows, this hilarious horror comedy will keep you entertained from start to finish.
Don’t miss out on this bloody good time! Grab your copy of Bill The Vampire now and prepare to sink your teeth into a world of undead mayhem and gut-busting humor.
Content Warning: This book contains violence, gore, crude humor, and a shitload of swearing.
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Vampire and thief Raylene Pendle doesn’t need more complications in her life. Her Seattle home is already overrun by a band of misfits, including Ian Stott, a blind vampire, and Adrian deJesus, an ex–Navy SEAL/drag queen. But Raylene still can’t resist an old pal’s request: seek out and steal a bizarre set of artifacts. Also on the hunt is a brilliant but certifiably crazy sorceress determined to stomp anyone who gets in her way.
-
5 out of 5 stars
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Nice Second Installment
- By Tiffani on 09-02-11
By: Cherie Priest
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Blood Oranges
- A Siobhan Quinn Novel
- By: Kathleen Tierney
- Narrated by: Amber Benson
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 107
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 96
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 99
My name's Quinn. If you buy into my reputation, I'm the most notorious demon hunter in New England. But rumors of my badassery have been slightly exaggerated. Instead of having kung-fu skills and a closet full of medieval weapons, I'm an ex-junkie with a talent for being in the wrong place at the right time. Or the right place at the wrong time. Or…whatever. Wanted for crimes against inhumanity I (mostly) didn't commit, I was nearly a midnight snack for a werewolf until I was "saved" by a vampire calling itself the Bride of Quiet.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Great Narration, Subpar Book
- By Mel Thomas on 12-17-14
By: Kathleen Tierney
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My Life as a White Trash Zombie
- By: Diana Rowland
- Narrated by: Allison McLemore
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,578
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 5,139
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 5,145
Teenage delinquent Angel Crawford lives with her redneck father in the swamps of southern Louisiana. She's a high school dropout, addicted to drugs and alcohol, and has a police record a mile long. But when she's made into a zombie after a car crash, her addictions disappear, except for her all-consuming need to stay "alive".
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5 out of 5 stars
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It's Not F**king Rocket Science
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 09-22-13
By: Diana Rowland
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Bloodshot
- Cheshire Red Reports, Book 1
- By: Cherie Priest
- Narrated by: Natalie Ross
- Length: 11 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 447
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 361
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Story4 out of 5 stars 360
Raylene Pendle (AKA Cheshire Red), a vampire and world-renowned thief, doesn’t usually hang with her own kind. She’s too busy stealing priceless art and rare jewels. But when the infuriatingly charming Ian Stott asks for help, Raylene finds him impossible to resist - even though Ian doesn’t want precious artifacts. He wants her to retrieve missing government files: documents that deal with the secret biological experiments that left Ian blind. What Raylene doesn’t bargain for is a case that takes her from the frozen outskirts of Minneapolis to the mean streets of Atlanta.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A notch above
- By Eivind on 01-31-11
By: Cherie Priest
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Caged
- Caged, Book 1
- By: Amber Lynn Natusch
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 267
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 242
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Story4 out of 5 stars 242
After the death of her parents, Ruby awakens from a lifetime of shadows and finds herself alone, thrust into a world of lies, deceit, betrayal and the supernatural. As her quest for truth continues to come up short, she realizes that maybe some questions really are best left unanswered. When her true identity is finally unveiled, she is forced to choose between two of the mysterious men who continually seem to crop up in her life.She chooses poorly. Now abandoned, Ruby must learn to call on the darkness within to survive, or spend a hellish eternity imprisoned because of it.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Amazing!!!
- By JettFountain on 07-18-14
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Blood Scent
- Junkyard Druid Novellas, Book 1
- By: M. D. Massey
- Narrated by: Steven Barnett
- Length: 3 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 198
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 184
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 183
After the loss of his girlfriend Jesse, druid-trained hunter Colin McCool swore off monster-hunting for good. Now a rogue vampire is killing the weak and defenseless in his city, and no one else seems to care enough to stop him. To end the slaughter, Colin has agreed to take up his sword one last time...but will this "one final job" be the death of him?
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2 out of 5 stars
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dont waste money
- By STACY GREEN on 12-23-18
By: M. D. Massey
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Undead and Unwed
- Queen Betsy, Book 1
- By: MaryJanice Davidson
- Narrated by: Nancy Wu
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,894
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,808
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,801
Waking up in a tacky coffin and wearing off-brand shoes, Betsy Taylor can't believe the horrible turn her life has taken; then she discovers she's a vampire. Soon, Betsy becomes a participant in a power struggle between the forces of darkness. With only her friend Jessica and the hunky vampire Sinclair to help her, this new "Queen of Vampires" will have a tough time getting her afterlife straight.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Great Concept / Annoying Character
- By Vanessa on 07-28-09
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Graveyard Shift
- By: Michael F. Haspil
- Narrated by: Michael Kramer
- Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 422
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 395
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 393
Alex Menkaure, former pharaoh and mummy, and his vampire partner, Marcus, born in ancient Rome, are vice cops in a special Miami police unit. They fight to keep the streets safe from criminal vampires, shape-shifters, bootleg blood dealers, and anti-vampire vigilantes. When poisoned artificial blood drives vampires to murder, the city threatens to tear itself apart. Only an unlikely alliance with former opponents can give Alex and Marcus a fighting chance against an ancient vampire conspiracy.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Vampires and humans living in harmony?
- By Anne on 03-23-18
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Hard Spell
- Occult Crimes Unit Investigations, Book 1
- By: Justin Gustainis
- Narrated by: Peter Brook
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 712
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 648
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Story4 out of 5 stars 649
Scranton, the strangest city on earth has an uneasy “live and let unlive” relationship with the supernatural. But when a vamp puts the bite on an unwilling victim, or some witch casts the wrong kind of spell, that’s when they call me. “My name’s Markowski, a Detective Sergeant on the Scranton PD’s Supernatural Crimes Investigation Unit. I carry a badge. Also, a crucifix, some wooden stakes, a big vial of holy water, and a 9mm Beretta loaded with silver bullets.”
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2 out of 5 stars
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Predictable and Flat
- By Madeleine on 03-29-14
By: Justin Gustainis
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Divine Misfortune
- By: A. Lee Martinez
- Narrated by: Fred Berman
- Length: 7 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,053
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 927
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Story4 out of 5 stars 933
Teri and Phil had never needed their own personal god. But when Phil is passed up for a promotion - again - it's time to take matters into their own hands. And look online. Choosing a god isn't as simple as you would think. There are too many choices; and they often have very hefty prices for their eternal devotion: blood, money, sacrifices, and vows of chastity. But then they find Luka, raccoon god of prosperity. All he wants is a small cut of their good fortune. Oh - and to crash on their couch for a few days.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Gods Gone Wild
- By Tango on 12-08-13
By: A. Lee Martinez
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The Book of Levi
- The Demon Accords, Book 0.5
- By: John Conroe
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 544
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 477
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Story5 out of 5 stars 477
How do you raise a boy who can bend reality with his mind? How do you keep him levelheaded, sane, and good? Raising any child is a tremendous undertaking, let alone one blessed by the goddess herself. Levi Guildersleeve, retired soldier and successful collector of rare books, finds himself as the only male role model of the most powerful witch ever born.
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3 out of 5 stars
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This could have been amazing, went on too long.
- By Justin on 11-22-22
By: John Conroe
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Dying Bites
- Bloodhound Files, Book 1
- By: D. D. Barant
- Narrated by: Johanna Parker
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 398
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 354
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Story4 out of 5 stars 352
Her job description is the "tracking and apprehension of mentally-fractured killers". What this really means in FBI profiler Jace Valchek's brave new world - one in which only one percent of the population is human - is that a woman's work is never done. And real is getting stranger every day. Jace has been ripped from her reality by David Cassius, the vampire head of the NSA. He knows that she's the best there is in the business, and David needs her help in solving a series of gruesome murders of vampires and werewolves.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not a yawner!
- By K on 09-17-12
By: D. D. Barant
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Kill Someone
- By: Luke Smitherd
- Narrated by: Matt Addis
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 352
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 321
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Story4 out of 5 stars 321
From the author of the international best seller The Stone Man, short-listed for Audible UK's Book of the Year Award 2015. Here are the rules. Method: you can't use a gun. You can't use explosives. You can't use poison. It has to be up close and personal. You don't have to worry about leaving evidence; that will be taken care of. Victim: no one suicidal. No one over the age of 65. No one with a terminal illness. Choose your method. Choose your victim.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The Good of the Many is More Important...Or is it?
- By JoanneG on 12-06-16
By: Luke Smitherd
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Straight Outta Fangton
- A Comedic Vampire Story
- By: C. T. Phipps
- Narrated by: Cary Hite
- Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 336
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 310
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 309
Peter Stone is a poor, black vampire who is wondering where his nightclub, mansion, and sports car is. Instead, he is working a minimum wage job during the night shift, as being a vampire isn't all that impressive in a world where they've come out to mortals. Exiled from the rich and powerful undead in New Detroit, he is forced to go back when someone dumps a newly-transformed vampire in the bathroom of his gas station's store.
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5 out of 5 stars
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So funny, you'll die!!!
- By Jason on 09-29-17
By: C. T. Phipps
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Histories
- A Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter Short Story Collection (Quincy Harker Collection)
- By: John G. Hartness
- Narrated by: James Anderson Foster
- Length: 4 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 50
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 45
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Story5 out of 5 stars 45
An attack in the dark. The loss of a love. Waking up hung over in a ditch. These are the things that make a hero, especially if that hero is Quincy Harker, immortal wizard, snarky bastard, and general badass. Histories collects two short stories and one short novella giving a peek behind the curtain at the man, the myth, the legend that is Quincy Harker, as well as the origin story of one of his most popular cohorts, Jo Henry.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Great for newcomers and Harker fans
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 10-11-22
By: John G. Hartness
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Bitten
- The Otherworld Series, Book 1
- By: Kelley Armstrong
- Narrated by: Aasne Vigesaa
- Length: 12 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 153
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 143
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 144
Elena Michaels is the world’s only female werewolf. And she’s tired of it. Tired of a life spent hiding and protecting, a life where her most important job is hunting down rogue werewolves. Tired of a world that not only accepts the worst in her–her temper, her violence—but requires it. Worst of all, she realizes she’s growing content with that life, with being that person.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Definitely written in the 2000s
- By Kathy Kuwano on 07-16-22
By: Kelley Armstrong
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Charming
- Pax Arcana, Book 1
- By: Elliott James
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,146
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,973
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,975
John Charming isn't your average prince... He comes from a line of Charmings - an illustrious family of dragon slayers, witch-finders and killers dating back to before the fall of Rome. Trained by a modern day version of the Knights Templar, monster hunters who have updated their methods from chain mail and crossbows to Kevlar and shotguns, John Charming was one of the best-until a curse made him one of the abominations the Knights were sworn to hunt.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Charming is Like Dresden in wolves clothing
- By Suzanne on 05-24-14
By: Elliott James
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Bone Shop
- A Marla Mason Novel
- By: T. A. Pratt
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 223
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 195
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Story4 out of 5 stars 197
Marla Mason is the chief sorcerer of Felport, a woman who's tangled with gods and monsters and come out on top (if a bit damaged in the process). Bone Shop tells the story of Marla's evolution from runaway to sorcerer's apprentice to mercenary magician and beyond. Fans of the urban fantasy series from Bantam Spectra that began with Blood Engines will find surprising secrets revealed about Marla's past, and new listeners can get to know the character from the very beginning.
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3 out of 5 stars
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LIKE LIVING IN A FRAT HOUSE
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 07-12-17
By: T. A. Pratt
What listeners say about Bill the Vampire
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance2 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Jordan thornton
- 04-09-23
MC is a over eager puppy
I came into this pretty blind with how the story would go, and so far I’m not impressed. For one you can only stand so many jokes/puns within a few sentences from each other but this wouldn’t matter if the jokes were good but they are kinda pathetic. Second is how much of a puss the MC really is, more than 3/4ths of the way through and he doesn’t stand up for himself at all. Third is how pathetic he acts towards the person who literally killed him; being more concerned with how hot she is. To add onto the last point he acts like an eager puppy whenever a hot woman is around despite being surrounded by bodies. Fourth the MC has not agency what so ever, told he has a time limit on protection from other vamps but it more concerned with missing his DND game or working the next day. Considering all that the story so far is just boring.. we’re told he’s a special vampire but doesn’t show any redeeming qualities if you don’t count his terrible jokes. I think I’ll be skipping this series
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Raymond Neil
- 04-13-24
The narrator’s performance was awesome
The flow of action, humor and narrator performance made this a highly enjoyable experience both times I’ve listen d to it.
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