Showing results by narrator "Jessica Almasy" in All Categories

The show must go on…even if it takes a U-turn into Hell. I have too much to lose if Pandora wins. With the love of my demonic life by my side, along with the profane, toothpick-loving Keeper of Fate, and a cast of inappropriate characters, I’m going to embrace this starring role. I have to. If I can’t solve the problem of unboxing the box, my life as I know it will be over. No TV show, no close-up, and, definitely, no Emmy. So, I’m onto my next gig. I have no clue how the episode will end.

After a Luke Skywalker/Darth Vader moment, I discovered I do indeed have a father. He comes with a hell of a lot of baggage, but I’ve decided to keep him. Not only do I have a father, I have a kick-ass new sister, a ghostly family, and super powers to boot. If you add to the mix that I’m dating the Grim Reaper, it’s a freakin’ party. The only thing standing in the way of my happiness is the Angel of Mercy, though Angel of Misery is more appropriate. She’s responsible for almost everyone I have loved, and who has loved me, being taken away.

I want to live my life in peace for a little while as opposed to pieces. I don’t know who I have to bribe to catch a break, but I’m willing to pay the big bucks. Apparently, no one got the memo. Midlife is one messy ride. Fine. I’m off to Lexington, Kentucky to find a self-proclaimed dragon who sports a mullet, beer belly and delusions of Immortal grandeur. This time he’s gone too far. He’s messed with me and mine for the last time. The way to end a dragon is to remove his tail. We thought we had. A tail is in the back. Right? Wrong. So, so wrong.

With a new job I didn’t apply for and an extended family I didn’t know I had - midlife has become somewhat problematic. Gluing ghosts back together is easy compared to my new celestial occupation. The Grim Reaper wants to put a ring on it. Tim wants to be a father. Candy Vargo has lost her damn mind, and Jennifer thinks we’re all sparkly vampires. I’ve been given an impossible task with catastrophic consequences for failure, but it wouldn’t be my midlife without another crisis.

Being 40 is supposed to be freaking fabulous, not fatal. Taking on a daunting new job minus the description isn’t the smartest move I’ve ever made, even if it was to save a friend. Hopefully, it doesn’t turn out to be the stupidest...or deadliest. Why can’t things stay the way they were? I love my old job. Supergluing ghosts back together and solving their issues is its own reward. Not to mention, I’m seriously good at it. Although, I must say, I’m ridiculously excited for the new Death Counselor’s arrival in nine months....

With my life back to normal - normal being a very relative word - one would think I’d catch a break. One would be very wrong. With an angel gunning for me and a demon in my bed, life couldn’t be more complicated. Not to mention, I’m going to have to make a rather large life choice. Do I want to live forever? Does anyone? Forever is a very long time. Whatever. I’ll think about it tomorrow...or next week...or next month. As long as I have my girlfriends, my dogs, a super-sized case of merlot, and my deceased squatters, I’m good to go.

Thirty-nine was a fantastic year. I was married to the man I loved. I had a body that worked without creaking. My grandma, who raised me, was still healthy, and life was pretty damned good. But as they say, all good things come to an end. One year later, I’m a widow. My joints are starting to ache. Gram is in the nursing home, and dead people think my home is some kind of supernatural bed-and-breakfast. Gluing body parts onto semi-transparent people has become a side job - deceased people I’m not even sure are actually there.

Convinced that their dastardly uncle Freidrich has escaped with their family fortune, the Flamingo Sisters return home to the Upper Lower Valley Mountain Rural Region in despair. But when their beloved mentor Elsie de la Rue goes missing—and they discover a new clue that may lead them to their lost Golden Flamingo—the three sisters take off on another thrilling chase in the skies! They join the death-defying pilots of the Women’s Air Derby, then hopscotch from New York to France to Egypt, determined to stop their uncle from spreading evil across the globe.

If you drive past the lights of downtown Roswell, north on Route 285 into the darkness of the New Mexico desert, you'll run across a little radio station with a single tower. This is the home of WKLEN talk-radio, broadcast through Tower #57. Fresh out of the local community college and eager to start his career in radio production, Luther Stenson arrives for his first shift as an intern on Evening Sands, a late-night radio show focused on the unexplainable and broadcast throughout the lower forty-eight. Luther’s first night in radio quickly becomes one he’ll never forget.

Never in my 40 years did I think my new normal would be gluing body parts back onto ghosts and hosting a houseful of dead squatters. Thank God for superglue and a strong stomach. Never thought I’d date the Grim Reaper and that I would be the one to blow it. I mean, how idiotic does one have to be to get dumped by a dude who lives in Hell? Going about business as usual is not usual in any way. No one is who they seem to be...and to be honest, neither am I. What I’d known to be true has turned out to be myth. The angels are frightening, and the demons are hot.

Apparently, there’s no rest for the over-forty crowd. Yes, I have fabulous friends. Yes, I have a beautiful baby. Yes, the ghosts are coming back home. Yes, I’m in love with the Grim Reaper. However, that sexy Demon has got some major ’splainin’ to do … like his possible involvement in the shocking kidnapping of my worst and most deadly enemy. With a drag queen and an ice queen as my back up, we’re going to sashay away into the Darkness to find the truth and turn a wrong into a right. Although, I’m learning fast that black and white are often clouded with shades of gray.

Penobscot Indian Molly Ayer is close to "aging out" out of the foster care system. A community-service position helping an elderly woman clean out her home is the only thing keeping Molly out of juvie and worse.... As she helps Vivian sort through her possessions and memories, Molly learns that she and Vivian aren’t as different as they seem to be. A young Irish immigrant orphaned in New York City, Vivian was put on a train to the Midwest with hundreds of other children whose destinies would be determined by luck and chance.

Just when I thought life might be getting back to normal—normal being a relative word—I couldn’t have been more wrong. Marriage proposal from the Grim Reaper? Yes. Beautiful healthy baby? Yes. Friends and family safe? Yes. Ghost of my worst enemy sitting on my front porch? OMG. Yep. With the ghostly world imploding around me, I’m going to need more than superglue to repair it.

In this sequel to Sara Pennypacker's acclaimed Clementine, the precocious third grader's class teams with the fourth graders to put on a talent show. The only problem: Clementine doesn't have any talents. Meanwhile, her best friend Margaret has so many she has to keep track of them alphabetically. Soon the big night arrives and Clementine has nothing to perform. But she has a hidden skill that will save the show from certain disaster.

Midlife is sheer madness, and the facts of midlife are not taught in school. Unfortunately, some lessons are hellishly hard to learn. I thought I had it figured out. I was wrong. Proving I’m the Angel of Mercy is turning into a shitshow of epic proportions. Not too long ago, I was a 40-year-old gal with a stable and boring life ahead of me. Now? Not so much. I have celestial siblings who are no walk in the park. Their decisions can destroy my future. And of course, my predecessor has given me a month to do the impossible or I’ll lose everything that means anything to me.

In this final book, Clementine is having a feud with her father - she's so mad she can't even speak to him. Besides that, she has to deal with the end of the school year and all the good-byes she must say - Clementine does N-O-T, not like saying good-bye. (Neither do I! I had a lump in my throat all the time I was writing the book - I am going to miss this girl and her family so much!)

Eleanor Dross knows a thing or two about the end of the world, thanks to a survivalist grandfather who stockpiles freeze-dried food and supplies - just in case. So when she reads about a Harvard scientist's prediction that an asteroid will strike Earth in April, Eleanor knows her family will be prepared. Her classmates? They're on their own! Eleanor has just one friend she wants to keep safe: Mack. They've been best friends since kindergarten, even though he's more of a smiley emoji and she's more of an eye-roll emoji.

I did not order the extra slice of Armageddon to go with my midlife crisis. Apparently, if you’re an Immortal, it comes free of charge. I have until sundown tomorrow to get to a parallel plane of existence, save my family, and kick bad-guy butt all before the world ends. Impossible, right? Not according to my posse of whackado buddies. They like to remind me that nothing is impossible as long as I believe. Well, I’m about to be the mother of all believers.

Critics and fans alike delight in the antics of rambunctious third grader Clementine. In Clementine and the Family Meeting, this fiery youngster takes on the age-old problem of sibling rivalry. A family meeting has been called, and Clementine figures she must be in trouble for something, but she’s not sure what. Her fears of punishment are replaced by new ones, however, when her parents reveal they are trying to have another baby. Clementine’s sure that four is the perfect family size—can she be convinced to make room for number five?

In her fourth adventure, Clementine is excited—she’s been picked to be Friend of the Week, a title that brings many new responsibilities. On the advice of her best friend Margaret, Clementine sets out to make sure her classmates know exactly why she’s such a great friend. But this strategy could prove disastrous.