In Episode 9 of our ongoing series on Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN), we delve into the final three in our list of symptoms that shape the adult lives of those affected by early emotional neglect: internalized anger, lack of self-discipline, and alexithymia. Each of these symptoms reveals a unique aspect of the long-term effects of neglect that continue to challenge individuals into adulthood.

We begin by exploring internalized anger and self-blame, often hidden beneath the surface but profoundly influencing one’s self-image and interactions. This anger is typically directed inward as a misguided form of control and self-protection, originating from the false belief during childhood that one is inherently at fault for the neglect they experienced. This episode will dissect the origins and impacts of this self-directed anger, helping listeners recognize and address these often destructive patterns.

Next, we address the lack of self-discipline, a less obvious but equally significant consequence of CEN. This symptom, often referred to as “executive dysfunction,” manifests as struggles with daily responsibilities and self-care, rooted in the absence of early life structure and emotional guidance. Listeners will gain insights into how emotional neglect disrupts the development of self-regulation skills and learn strategies to cultivate these essential aspects of adult life.

Lastly, we cover alexithymia—the inability to identify and express emotions, a common but perplexing outcome of CEN. This condition can lead to significant challenges in personal relationships and overall emotional health. We'll explore how a childhood devoid of emotional validation can lead to this emotional blindness, and discuss ways to begin reconnecting with one's emotional self.

This episode aims not only to shed light on these symptoms but also to offer paths toward healing and understanding. By recognizing the roots of these issues, listeners can start to transform their internal narrative from one of blame and confusion to one of recovery and clarity. Join me as we continue to unravel the complex legacy of childhood emotional neglect and forge a path towards emotional resilience and self-discovery.

Recommended Resources:

✧ Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb, PhD

✧ My full episode exploring executive dysfunction (overcoming executive dysfunction: "why can't i just do the thing?!”) Click here to listen on Apple Podcasts or here to listen on Spotify.

✧ Click here for a full depiction of the “feelings wheel” or visit https://feelingswheel.com/

CONTACT ME + UNLOCK PREMIUM: To join the Premium Submarines on Patreon (unlocking full + ad-free episodes), check out my sponsors, or contact me, visit backfromtheborderline.com

Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Discover the profound legacy of labyrinths, not just as intricate mazes, but as powerful tools in modern psychological therapy. This episode explores their historical significance and their transformative role in EMDR therapy— a technique developed by Francine Shapiro in 1987 for healing psychological trauma. Together, we’ll learn how these ancient paths, once central to the ceremonies of ancient Egypt and the myths of Greece, are now implemented in hospitals, churches, and prisons as meditative and therapeutic spaces. We’ll delve into scientific studies that highlight the benefits of labyrinth walking, from reducing blood pressure to enhancing emotional regulation, and illustrate how this age-old practice, when combined with innovative therapy, offers a transformative journey of healing. Tune in for a captivating look at how the age-old labyrinth is turning into a modern path to recovery.

Reference for episode: “The Healing Power of Labyrinths” by Leo F. for The Oxbow School

Resources:

✧ 12 inch bamboo finger labyrinth (Amazon)

✧ Finger labyrinth travel cards (Amazon)

✧ Walking a Sacred Path: Rediscovering the Labyrinth as a Spiritual Practice by Lauren Artress

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Should Drake's denial of Kendrick Lamar's allegations of pursuing underage girls open a wider conversation on grooming, social media, and consent? In this episode, we dissect this pressing issue and much more.

Unless you've been living under a rock, you've likely heard of the ongoing rap beef between Drake and Kendrick Lamar that kicked off in April 2024.

During the first week of May 2024, this months-long spat has hit full throttle. On Saturday (May 4th), Lamar put out yet another diss entitled "Not Like Us," which doubled down on allegations of Drake’s pedophilia (even going as far as to refer to him as a “certified pedophile”).

The latest development came on the evening of May 5th, with Drake’s release of “The Heart Part 6.” On the track, the Toronto rapper mainly denies Lamar’s allegations that he has a pattern of pursuing underage girls, a claim that has plagued the rapper in the wake of tales from the likes of 'Stranger Tales' actress Millie Bobby Brown, 20, who said Drake regularly texted her when she was only 14.

As the old saying goes, where there's smoke, there's usually fire. Rumors surrounding Drake's interactions with young women have persisted long before the Kendrick and Drake beef. In this episode, we delve into the longstanding and controversial history of Drake's relationships with girls on the cusp of womanhood. We'll examine the legal framework of consent and the ethical complexities surrounding men who pursue significantly younger partners, regardless of legal culpability.

We'll conclude this discussion with a reading of a personal essay, recounting my experiences as a young girl navigating the digital landscape of the early 2000s, where I was groomed and pursued by much older men during the 'wild west days' of the internet and social media. Through this piece, I aim to shed light on the pervasive nature of this issue, transcending the confines of Drake's rap beef. It's imperative to recognize that these occurrences are symptomatic of a broader systemic problem—a culture that has long permitted the sexualization and exploitation of young girls online. Join me as we confront these uncomfortable truths and advocate for meaningful change.

TIMESTAMPS:

✧ 00:00 – 03:23: Intro

✧ 03:23 – 10:27: quick timeline of the Kendrick Lamar and Drake feud

✧ 10:27 – 41:17: an analysis of the Kendrick lyrics that level accusations against Drake

✧ 41:17 – 01:07:16: six times Drake allegedly groomed young girls

✧ 01:08:17 – 01:26:24: The fine line between grooming, pedophilia, and the “age of consent” (+ an exploration of Angel Reese’s appearance on The Breakfast Club)

✧ 01:26:24 – 02:00:02: the circle jerk of sadness to grooming pipeline: how growing up during internet's wild west era arrested the sexual development of a generation (personal essay)

CHECK OUT MORE OF MY WORK + UNLOCK PREMIUM: To join the Premium Submarines on Patreon (unlocking full + ad-free episodes), check out my sponsors, subscribe to my Substack, or contact me, visit backfromtheborderline.com

Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In this exclusive preview of a premium episode, join me as we delve into the intricate web of generational emotional neglect, exploring how historical, cultural, and social factors shaped parenting styles across the The WWI Generation, Silent Generation, Baby Boomers, Gen X, and Millennials. This journey through time reveals a pattern akin to a bizarre Russian doll, where dysfunctional parenting practices are passed down, layer by layer, impacting each subsequent generation.

Together, we'll unpack the profound effects these inherited behaviors have on our current struggles, offering insights that might just change how you view yourself and your lineage. By tracing the socioeconomic backgrounds, upbringing, and the worldviews of our ancestors, we connect dots that illuminate the roots of our own emotional landscapes. This episode not only deepens understanding but fosters a compassion for those who came before us, revealing the deep-seated origins of many modern psychological challenges.

For an even deeper exploration, don't miss my companion series on childhood emotional neglect, linked below. All episodes are free to listen.

PARENTAL GENERATIONS EXPLORED IN THIS EPISODE:

✧ “The Greatest Generation” (G.I. / WWII Generation): parents born between 1901-1927

✧ The Silent Generation: parents born between 1928 - 1945

✧ Baby Boomers: parents born between 1946 – 1964

✧ Generation X: parents born between 1965 - 1980

✧ Millennials (Generation Y): parents born between 1981 – 1996

Click here to listen to episode 1 of my childhood emotional neglect series on Apple Podcasts or here to listen on Spotify.

UNLOCK THE FULL VERSION OF THIS EPISODE: visit https://www.patreon.com/backfromtheborderline to join the community on Patreon. From here, you'll be able to access all full-length (and ad free!) episodes of BFTB.

CONTACT ME CHECK OUT MORE OF MY WORK: To read my Substack articles, access my Amazon book recommendation list, submit a voicemail, or contact me for collaborations, visit backfromtheborderline.com.

Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In Episode 8 of our ongoing series on Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN), we continue our exploration of the symptoms that shape the lives of adults affected by early emotional neglect. In this portion of our discussion, we’ll be covering skewed perception of self, lack of self-compassion, and toxic guilt and shame. Each of these symptoms reflects deep-seated distortions in self-perception and interpersonal relations, forged in the fires of childhood emotional neglect.

First, we explore the concept of unrealistic self-appraisal, where individuals either overestimate or underestimate their worth, abilities, and attributes. This skewed self-perception often originates from inconsistent or absent feedback during formative years, leading to significant life implications, from career choices to personal relationships. We examine how this distortion in self-view can be corrected through a deeper understanding of its roots and a reassessment of one’s true capabilities and worth.

Next, we address the profound lack of self-compassion that many neglect survivors experience. Despite their often boundless compassion for others, they struggle to extend the same kindness to themselves. This segment discusses the critical need to balance empathy, how to cultivate internal compassion, and the transformative impact this can have on one's sense of self and overall mental health.

Lastly, we tackle toxic guilt and shame, a debilitating byproduct of CEN that compels individuals to internalize excessive blame and unworthiness. This discussion highlights the importance of differentiating between constructive guilt and destructive shame and provides strategies for overcoming the deeply ingrained belief systems that fuel these feelings.

By exploring these symptoms, this episode aims to offer insights and practical guidance for listeners to begin reevaluating their self-perceptions, fostering self-compassion, and challenging the guilt and shame that have held sway over their lives. Join me as we continue to uncover the hidden impacts of childhood emotional neglect and move towards healing, self-acceptance, and a more authentic life.

Recommended Resources:

✧ Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb, PhD

✧ Start part 1 of my multi-episode series on toxic shame (“shame series part 1: healthy shame makes you human”) click here to listen on Apple Podcasts or here to listen on Spotify.

✧ Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach

✧ Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff

CONTACT ME + UNLOCK PREMIUM: To join the Premium Submarines on Patreon (unlocking full + ad-free episodes), check out my sponsors, or contact me, visit backfromtheborderline.com

Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In this exclusive preview of a premium BFTB episode, we explore the disturbing parallels between dysfunctional family structures and cult organizations. Drawing insights from psychologist Jose Fernández Aguado's article, "How a Dysfunctional Family Functions Like a Cult," I delve into the mechanics of control, trust, and dependency that define both these environments. Dysfunctional families, much like cults, can manipulate and erode the individual identities of their members, leading to a cycle of psychological abuse that mirrors the coercive tactics employed by cult leaders.

The discussion will unpack how such families fail to foster healthy relational skills among their members, specifically focusing on the inability to establish boundaries and the resulting lack of autonomy. Using critical concepts from family systems theory, we'll examine the roles, rules, and boundaries within these families, highlighting how they create an atmosphere of distrust and dependence that stifles personal growth and mimics cult-like compliance and isolation.

As I analyze the article's key points, you’ll gain a deeper understanding of why some families may feel eerily similar to a cult, with rigid roles and an overarching control diminishing the individual's sense of self and autonomy. The episode will not only shed light on the subtle dynamics of control and manipulation inherent in such families but also offer insights into recognizing and overcoming these toxic patterns.

Tune in to learn about the transformative journey from recognizing to healing from the hidden manipulations within dysfunctional family structures, and discover how breaking free from these patterns can lead to personal liberation and growth.

UNLOCK THE FULL VERSION OF THIS EPISODE: visit https://www.patreon.com/backfromtheborderline to join the community on Patreon. From here, you'll be able to access all full-length (and ad free!) episodes of BFTB.

CONTACT ME CHECK OUT MORE OF MY WORK: To read my Substack articles, access my Amazon book recommendation list, submit a voicemail, or contact me for collaborations, visit backfromtheborderline.com.

Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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As we transition into a new phase of our mega-series exploring the impact of childhood emotional neglect (CEN), we’ll begin examining the lasting effects of CEN as they manifest in late adolescence and early adulthood. This installment exposes the first two critical, often covert impacts: chronic feelings of emptiness and counter-dependence.

First, we address the pervasive sense of emptiness that haunts individuals long after their childhood has ended. This condition is more than fleeting sadness; it's a persistent, profound lack of fulfillment that manifests physically as a void and emotionally as disconnection. This episode explores the depths of this emptiness, elucidating its subtle yet powerful influence on personal identity and engagement with the world.

Next, the discussion shifts to counter-dependence, a symptom frequently misunderstood and overlooked. Far from a healthy preference for independence, counter-dependence is a severe aversion to vulnerability, born from the protective instincts developed in response to childhood neglect. This segment examines how such an extreme self-reliance can alienate individuals from meaningful support and intimacy, often to their detriment.

Accompanied by targeted reflection questions, this episode not only helps listeners identify these experiences in their own lives but also offers an understanding of their origins. By recognizing these patterns, listeners can begin to address the profound impact of early emotional neglect on their adult lives.

Tune in as we delve into these intricate psychological phenomena, aiming to empower listeners with knowledge and strategies to overcome the enduring effects of childhood neglect. This exploration is not merely about identifying pain—it's about moving towards recovery and reclaiming a fuller, more connected life.

Recommended Resources:

✧ Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb, PhD

CONTACT ME + UNLOCK PREMIUM: To join the Premium Submarines on Patreon (unlocking full + ad-free episodes), check out my sponsors, or contact me, visit backfromtheborderline.com

Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Episode 6 of my deep-dive into Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) series ventures into uncharted territories, where the shadows of neglect stretch beyond the emotional realm to cast a profound impact on your physical well-being. This segment peels back the layers of how emotional turmoil from neglect and trauma in our formative years doesn't just scar our emotional landscapes but also seeds the ground for physical diseases and chronic conditions that can shorten your lifespan and diminish your quality of life.

In this pivotal episode, I unravel the science and soul behind Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), illuminating how early-life stressors metamorphose from emotional dis-ease into tangible physical disease. I dissect the intricate web connecting our brains, bodies, and minds, challenging the conventional medical model's fragmented approach to mental health, which often seeks to bandage symptoms without addressing their rooted causes.

But I don't stop at diagnosing the problem. This episode takes a bold step forward, critiquing the well-intentioned yet flawed one-size-fits-all healing narratives prevalent in today's self-help and recovery resources. I question the promises of returning to a state of 'pre-trauma purity' and dissect why such prescriptive paths often lead individuals down shame spirals, feeling irretrievably broken.

As I delve into these critical conversations, I propose an alternative healing model—one that embraces the power of individuation, the transformative magic of emotional alchemy, and the profound strength found in our scars. This model doesn't seek to erase your past but integrates it, allowing you to craft a narrative of healing that's as unique as your experiences.

Join me in Episode 6 for a transformative exploration that promises to redefine your understanding of healing. Let's journey together towards a new paradigm where healing is seen not as a destination but as a continuous process of becoming, where every scar is a testament to your resilience and every step forward is a victory.

Recommended Resources:

✧ Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb, PhD

✧ Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, and How You Can Heal by Donna Jackson Nakazawa

CONTACT ME + UNLOCK PREMIUM: To join the Premium Submarines on Patreon (unlocking full + ad-free episodes), check out my sponsors, or contact me, visit backfromtheborderline.com.

Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.