When a person is no longer able to make healthcare decisions for themselves, they appoint someone as the power of attorney to make decisions on their behalf. As the power of attorney for both her mother and her aunt, it is important for Liz to be updated on their healthcare preferences. In today’s episode, host Liz Smith is joined in conversation with her mother and her aunt to discuss their personal healthcare wishes. 

These conversations can be messy and difficult, and it can be challenging to put aside your own beliefs and desires for your loved one’s healthcare. When Liz’s mom explained that she did not under any circumstances want any form of life support, Liz’s own beliefs toward short term interventions colored what she heard rather than allowing her to really accept what her mom had said at face value. As power of attorney, you have to put aside your own personal preferences to prioritize your loved one’s choices. 

If you are appointed as power of attorney for a loved one, it is important that you have these tough conversations and stay current on their healthcare preferences. Whether you are asking about their opinions on receiving life support, taking certain medications, entering a long term care facility, or having a surgery, it is important to talk things out and be clear on their desires. 

Quotes

• “Discuss your health care preferences with your healthcare representative periodically to ensure that he or she knows what your current preferences are.” (2:16-2:23 | Liz)
• “What I often do for clients is a living will or Advanced Directive, which says if you have a terminal and incurable condition, then you don't want continued life support.” (5:12-5:23 | Liz)
• “Your health care representative had broad powers to make health care decisions for you if you're unable to make them. Because of this, it's important for your health care representative to know your wishes regarding your health care preferences.” (16:24-16:37 | Liz) 

Links:

For all of Liz Smith’s resources give her a like on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lizsmithlaw 

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Legacy interviews are offered to estate planning clients so that they can pass on their loved one’s stories whenever someone passes away.  In today’s episode, host Liz Smith is joined in conversation with her own mother guided by the legacy interview questions. She shares her life experiences, how she wants her body handled when she does pass, who she’d like to take care of her cats, and more. This is a difficult conversation at times and contains explicit language and discussions of past illegal activities.

In interviewing her mother, Liz discovered new things not only about her mom’s past, but about her own. When family members are given the opportunity to share their stories and the stories of their loved one’s, everyone benefits. These stories will be cherished by those who remain after a loved one passes on as a way to celebrate and honor their life. Liz’s mother tells of her own childhood experiences with her parents and half-sister, along with memories of parenting Liz. She expresses her desires to be cremated and for her cats to be looked after. When asked about her role model or hero, she responds with one powerful word, ‘you’. 

Even though this conversation was difficult for Liz to have, she is happy to have had it. This legacy conversation will be incredibly meaningful for Liz and her family members when her mother does pass away. Use the questions from the interview as a guide and have these types of conversations with your loved ones in order to help keep your family’s history alive. 

Quotes

• “The reason I tell you I love you a lot is because I don't remember ever hearing either one of my parents tell me they love me ever.” (9:21-9:29 | Liz’s mom)
• “One day, my mother was right next door visiting Meg, her friend. And I walked in the kitchen and my father and my sister were kissing.” (13:50-13:58 | Liz’s mom)
• “I would imagine cremation would be easier, I just want you to please make sure I'm dead, dead, dead and not just dead.” (17:51-18:00 | Liz’s mom)
• “It was definitely hard for me at times, but I am very glad that I took the opportunity to do a legacy conversation with my mom. And I'm sure I will be even more glad later when she does pass away.” (24:05-24:16 | Liz)

Links:

For all of Liz Smith’s resources give her a like on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lizsmithlaw 

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Many people struggle with how to talk with their loved ones about planning for funerals or memorial services. It can be hard to know how to start the conversation or might just feel too morbid to talk about. However, talking about how someone wishes to be remembered is not inherently morbid. It may feel like you’re talking about death, but really you’re talking about life and how you or your loved ones want to be remembered.  In today’s episode, host Liz Smith is joined in conversation with Dean Lambert, who has worked with funeral professionals for nearly 30 years helping them connect and serve families facing one of the most challenging moments of their lives. 

There is a lot involved with planning for a memorial service. It is much easier to approach when you’re not also trying to cope with a death and the time constraints around what to do with the body. A memorial service should honor not only the wishes of the deceased, but also be a meaningful celebration for the living. Depending on your or your loved one’s religious beliefs and preferences, there are many different options for memorial services, burial, and cremation. Talk with your family members about their lives before death is even on the table, that way you will be better prepared for knowing how they might like to be remembered and celebrated. 

It’s important to be able to talk about death with your loved ones, as it is a natural part of life. Anything that can be done in advance to prepare such as conveying your wishes or setting money aside for a funeral, will be a big help to lessen the financial strain and emotional stress for surviving family members. 

Quotes

• “Whatever your beliefs are about what you want for yourself, you should honor those to the best of your ability. However, if you love your family, and you love your friends, doing in advance allows you to gain their input. And in that way, they can celebrate you and go off into their journeys and into their lives in a way that was meaningful to them as well.” (24:18-24:44 | Dean)
• “It's important for us to realize it is a part of life, and we need to pay attention to the way people are remembered.” (29:12-29:17 | Dean)
• “You're not thinking about death. You're thinking about how you want to be remembered, and you're thinking about how you want your life carried forward.” (29:43-29:50 | Dean)
• “I encourage people to be curious about your family, your parents, your grandparents, and just ask questions about it. They love talking about that history.” (34:11-34:18 | Dean)
• “The grieving process is an extremely individual personal thing for everybody. And for some, that means not to grieve.” (41:36-41:42 | Dean)
• “If you don't have to be surprised by a death and then have to make decisions afterwards, if there's a way to make it any easier, you should.” (42:44-42:53 | Dean)

Links:

The Love Always Project: https://www.lovealwaysproject.org/

For all of Liz Smith’s resources give her a like on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lizsmithlaw 

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm