When a person is no longer able to make healthcare decisions for themselves, they appoint someone as the power of attorney to make decisions on their behalf. As the power of attorney for both her mother and her aunt, it is important for Liz to be updated on their healthcare preferences. In today’s episode, host Liz Smith is joined in conversation with her mother and her aunt to discuss their personal healthcare wishes. 

These conversations can be messy and difficult, and it can be challenging to put aside your own beliefs and desires for your loved one’s healthcare. When Liz’s mom explained that she did not under any circumstances want any form of life support, Liz’s own beliefs toward short term interventions colored what she heard rather than allowing her to really accept what her mom had said at face value. As power of attorney, you have to put aside your own personal preferences to prioritize your loved one’s choices. 

If you are appointed as power of attorney for a loved one, it is important that you have these tough conversations and stay current on their healthcare preferences. Whether you are asking about their opinions on receiving life support, taking certain medications, entering a long term care facility, or having a surgery, it is important to talk things out and be clear on their desires. 

Quotes

• “Discuss your health care preferences with your healthcare representative periodically to ensure that he or she knows what your current preferences are.” (2:16-2:23 | Liz)
• “What I often do for clients is a living will or Advanced Directive, which says if you have a terminal and incurable condition, then you don't want continued life support.” (5:12-5:23 | Liz)
• “Your health care representative had broad powers to make health care decisions for you if you're unable to make them. Because of this, it's important for your health care representative to know your wishes regarding your health care preferences.” (16:24-16:37 | Liz) 

Links:

For all of Liz Smith’s resources give her a like on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lizsmithlaw 

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Legacy interviews are offered to estate planning clients so that they can pass on their loved one’s stories whenever someone passes away.  In today’s episode, host Liz Smith is joined in conversation with her own mother guided by the legacy interview questions. She shares her life experiences, how she wants her body handled when she does pass, who she’d like to take care of her cats, and more. This is a difficult conversation at times and contains explicit language and discussions of past illegal activities.

In interviewing her mother, Liz discovered new things not only about her mom’s past, but about her own. When family members are given the opportunity to share their stories and the stories of their loved one’s, everyone benefits. These stories will be cherished by those who remain after a loved one passes on as a way to celebrate and honor their life. Liz’s mother tells of her own childhood experiences with her parents and half-sister, along with memories of parenting Liz. She expresses her desires to be cremated and for her cats to be looked after. When asked about her role model or hero, she responds with one powerful word, ‘you’. 

Even though this conversation was difficult for Liz to have, she is happy to have had it. This legacy conversation will be incredibly meaningful for Liz and her family members when her mother does pass away. Use the questions from the interview as a guide and have these types of conversations with your loved ones in order to help keep your family’s history alive. 

Quotes

• “The reason I tell you I love you a lot is because I don't remember ever hearing either one of my parents tell me they love me ever.” (9:21-9:29 | Liz’s mom)
• “One day, my mother was right next door visiting Meg, her friend. And I walked in the kitchen and my father and my sister were kissing.” (13:50-13:58 | Liz’s mom)
• “I would imagine cremation would be easier, I just want you to please make sure I'm dead, dead, dead and not just dead.” (17:51-18:00 | Liz’s mom)
• “It was definitely hard for me at times, but I am very glad that I took the opportunity to do a legacy conversation with my mom. And I'm sure I will be even more glad later when she does pass away.” (24:05-24:16 | Liz)

Links:

For all of Liz Smith’s resources give her a like on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lizsmithlaw 

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Many people struggle with how to talk with their loved ones about planning for funerals or memorial services. It can be hard to know how to start the conversation or might just feel too morbid to talk about. However, talking about how someone wishes to be remembered is not inherently morbid. It may feel like you’re talking about death, but really you’re talking about life and how you or your loved ones want to be remembered.  In today’s episode, host Liz Smith is joined in conversation with Dean Lambert, who has worked with funeral professionals for nearly 30 years helping them connect and serve families facing one of the most challenging moments of their lives. 

There is a lot involved with planning for a memorial service. It is much easier to approach when you’re not also trying to cope with a death and the time constraints around what to do with the body. A memorial service should honor not only the wishes of the deceased, but also be a meaningful celebration for the living. Depending on your or your loved one’s religious beliefs and preferences, there are many different options for memorial services, burial, and cremation. Talk with your family members about their lives before death is even on the table, that way you will be better prepared for knowing how they might like to be remembered and celebrated. 

It’s important to be able to talk about death with your loved ones, as it is a natural part of life. Anything that can be done in advance to prepare such as conveying your wishes or setting money aside for a funeral, will be a big help to lessen the financial strain and emotional stress for surviving family members. 

Quotes

• “Whatever your beliefs are about what you want for yourself, you should honor those to the best of your ability. However, if you love your family, and you love your friends, doing in advance allows you to gain their input. And in that way, they can celebrate you and go off into their journeys and into their lives in a way that was meaningful to them as well.” (24:18-24:44 | Dean)
• “It's important for us to realize it is a part of life, and we need to pay attention to the way people are remembered.” (29:12-29:17 | Dean)
• “You're not thinking about death. You're thinking about how you want to be remembered, and you're thinking about how you want your life carried forward.” (29:43-29:50 | Dean)
• “I encourage people to be curious about your family, your parents, your grandparents, and just ask questions about it. They love talking about that history.” (34:11-34:18 | Dean)
• “The grieving process is an extremely individual personal thing for everybody. And for some, that means not to grieve.” (41:36-41:42 | Dean)
• “If you don't have to be surprised by a death and then have to make decisions afterwards, if there's a way to make it any easier, you should.” (42:44-42:53 | Dean)

Links:

The Love Always Project: https://www.lovealwaysproject.org/

For all of Liz Smith’s resources give her a like on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lizsmithlaw 

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Many people feel uncomfortable talking about death, and this can lead to a lot of difficulty when a loved one passes away if they have not yet had a chance to discuss their wishes with their family members. In today’s episode, host Liz Smith is joined in conversation with Tracy Foster, a long-time resident of Juneau and family service counselor with Legacy Funeral Homes.

As Tracy explains, when someone dies, there is a whole lot of planning to do, and it can be extremely taxing on the family of the deceased to have to simultaneously sort out all the little details and grieve. By planning ahead for what you would like done after your death, you are saving your loved ones from added stress and ensuring that they will not feel any remorse for having had to guess about your wishes. Whether you choose to be buried or cremated, or you prefer a viewing over a memorial service, and even down to where you get buried, and what you’re wearing  there's much to consider before you die. To make the process easier, Tracy suggests writing down your wishes ahead of time or having a discussion with your next of kin.

Planning ahead for your funeral can be daunting. But as daunting as it may be, having a plan made in advance can take a huge weight off of your family’s shoulders and help them to feel more at ease throughout the process. By discussing your wishes with them before your death, you can ensure that you will get exactly what you want and your family will not have to wonder if they made the right choices. 

Quotes

• “When I first started in this business, there were a lot more burials than there are today. I've noticed over the years, it's really changed and we now have mostly direct cremations.” (4:12-4:28 | Tracy)
• “Those that didn't plan ahead, it gets left to the family members, or friends or community, depending on where that person is in life, to make the final decisions to try and figure out what that person would have wanted. And I've had a lot of people come back to me, and they don't have peace about the decisions they made because it was never talked about.” (6:27-6:55 | Tracy)
• “The more that we can talk about death and plan ahead, the better it is for the ones that have to deal with the aftermath.” (7:17-7:24 | Tracy) 

Links:

Connect with Tracy Foster:

To set up an appointment with Tracy, please call 907.789.0611 

Legacy Funeral Homes - https://www.legacyalaska.com/

Juneau Contact - https://www.legacyalaska.com/contact/juneau-ak-alaskan

“Preplanning checklist” including notes for creating your obituary - https://www.legacyalaska.com/advanced-planning/preplanning-checklist

For all of Liz Smith’s resources give her a like on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lizsmithlaw 

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Grief resulting from loss is a natural part of life that can be difficult to navigate. After the collective experience of the global pandemic, grief is a more common emotional state than ever. In today’s episode, host Liz Smith is joined in conversation with Katie Cranor, a local psychotherapist, to talk about resources for coping with your grief and how to best support your loved ones. 

Grief is a process of saying goodbye and that process looks different for everyone. Though there are commonly known stages of grief, not everyone experiences each stage in the exact same way. Having someone to grieve with who really understands what you are going through is critical for long-term healing. Unfortunately, the majority of people who extend their support will only do so for a short time. They will not reach out at that first anniversary of the death or for their first birthday, and then you will be left to face these challenging days alone. This is why it is sometimes best to have a professional that you can speak with so that you know someone always has your back. 

It’s important to understand that you are not alone in your journey to healing. Join this week’s episode of What’s Next to learn more about coping with grief and the available mental health resources and support groups in Alaska. 

Quotes

• “I think we can count ourselves among the truly fortunate if we have a friend or family member, or a neighbor or companion of some kind, who knows how to truly ask, how are you? Because the lifespan of friendship, relationships, and knowing how to ask ‘how are you’ in the wake of losing someone that you love is actually quite narrow.” (13:42-14:32 | Katie)
• “Because it can be so rare to have somebody that you can genuinely talk to and genuinely confide in, it can be a really good idea to find a professional to speak with that can be a really invaluable resource to just know that you have somebody out there who's going to have your back.” (18:10-18:27 | Katie)
• “The common denominator for having someone to speak with and having community to grieve with, is being able to know that a person is not alone in their grief.” (21:23-21:33 | Katie) 
• “Let's talk about the person that you're saying goodbye to. What do you miss about them? What do you not miss about them? What's going to change in your life, because they are now dead? And what parts of them do you want to capture and bring into everyday life? Whatever those elements of that person are that you want to capture and bring into everyday life, those are the things that you want to do to keep their memory alive.” (35:14-35:53 | Katie)

Links:

Connect with Katie Cranor:

Catholic Community Service Grief and Bereavement Support: http://www.ccsak.org/grief--bereavement-support.html

Juneau Counselor and Therapist List: https://www.juneaumentalhealth.org/copy-of-private-practice-mental-hea

Somatic Regulation Exercises: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RsMwG2YKyE

For all of Liz Smith’s resources give her a like on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lizsmithlaw 

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm