
The Eldest Daughter Effect
How First Born Women - like Oprah Winfrey, Sheryl Sandberg, JK Rowling and Beyoncé - Harness their Strengths
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $13.49
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Lisette Schuitemaker
About this listen
"What do Angela Merkel, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Christine Lagarde, Oprah Winfrey, Sheryl Sandberg, JK Rowling and Beyoncé have in common?" was the headline in the English newspaper The Observer in 2014. "Other than riding high in Forbes list of the world’s most powerful women," journalist Tracy McVeigh wrote in answer to her own question, "they are also all firstborn children in their families. Firstborn children really do excel."
So what does it mean to be an eldest daughter?
Firstborns Lisette Schuitemaker and Wies Enthoven set out to discover the big five qualities that characterize all eldest daughters to some degree. Eldest daughters are responsible, dutiful, thoughtful, expeditious, and caring. Firstborns are more intelligent than their siblings, more proficient verbally and more motivated to perform. Yet at the same time they seriously doubt that they are good enough. Being an eldest daughter can have certain advantages, but the overbearing sense of responsibility often gets in the way. Parents may worry about their "difficult" eldest girl who wants to be perfect in everything she does whilst her siblings may not always understand her. The Eldest Daughter Effect shows how firstborn girls become who they are and offers insights that can give them more freedom to move. And parents will gain a better understanding of their firstborn children and can support them more fully on their way.
©2016 Lisette Schuitemaker. All Rights Reserved. (P)2019 Inner Traditions Audio. All Rights Reserved.Listeners also enjoyed...
-
It Didn't Start with You
- How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle
- By: Mark Wolynn
- Narrated by: Mark Wolynn
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over 20 years. It Didn't Start with You offers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms.
-
-
It Didn't Start With You
- By Deborah J. on 10-14-18
By: Mark Wolynn
-
The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read
- (And Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)
- By: Philippa Perry
- Narrated by: Philippa Perry
- Length: 8 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this instant Sunday Times bestseller, leading psychotherapist Philippa Perry reveals the vital do's and don'ts of relationships. This is a book for us all. Whether you are interested in understanding how your upbringing has shaped you, looking to handle your child's feelings or wishing to support your partner, you will find indispensable information and realistic tips here. Philippa Perry's sane, sage and judgement-free advice is an essential resource on how to have the best possible relationships with the people who matter to you most.
-
-
Excellent advice overall
- By Kindle Customer on 05-06-21
By: Philippa Perry
-
Smart Women Finish Rich, Expanded and Updated
- By: David Bach
- Narrated by: David Bach, Kathleen McInerney
- Length: 13 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
With over one million copies sold - Smart Women Finish Rich is one of the most popular financial books for women ever written. A perennial bestseller for over two decades, now Bach returns with a completely updated, expanded, and revised edition, Smart Women Finish Rich, to address the new financial concerns and opportunities for today's women.
-
-
The regular person can understand/follow the info
- By Winnie on 02-01-22
By: David Bach
-
What Happened to You?
- Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing
- By: Oprah Winfrey, Bruce D. Perry
- Narrated by: Bruce D. Perry, Oprah Winfrey
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Have you ever wondered "Why did I do that?" or "Why can't I just control my behavior?" Others may judge our reactions and think, "What's wrong with that person?" When questioning our emotions, it's easy to place the blame on ourselves; holding ourselves and those around us to an impossible standard. It's time we started asking a different question. Through deeply personal conversations, Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry offer a groundbreaking and profound shift from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?”
-
-
I waited more than 30 years for this book.
- By Gary S. on 04-28-21
By: Oprah Winfrey, and others
-
The Birth Order Book
- Why You Are the Way You Are
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Wayne Shepherd
- Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Dr. Kevin Leman's The Birth Order Book will help you understand yourself, get along better with others, overcome ingrained tendencies you never thought you could get rid of, and be more successful in the workplace. This revised and updated audio edition of Dr. Leman's classic book includes more than 30 years of experience and research, current examples, and fascinating stories to show how birth order impacts your life.
-
-
Bleh, like reading a horoscope
- By Jeff on 07-15-10
By: Kevin Leman
-
And They Called It Camelot
- A Novel of Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis
- By: Stephanie Marie Thornton
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 17 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Few of us can claim to be the authors of our fate. Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy knows no other choice. With the eyes of the world watching, Jackie uses her effortless charm and keen intelligence to carve a place for herself among the men of history and weave a fairy tale for the American people, embodying a senator’s wife, a devoted mother, a First Lady - a queen in her own right. But all reigns must come to an end.
-
-
I tried to like this book
- By Rita T on 03-11-20
-
It Didn't Start with You
- How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle
- By: Mark Wolynn
- Narrated by: Mark Wolynn
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over 20 years. It Didn't Start with You offers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms.
-
-
It Didn't Start With You
- By Deborah J. on 10-14-18
By: Mark Wolynn
-
The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read
- (And Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)
- By: Philippa Perry
- Narrated by: Philippa Perry
- Length: 8 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this instant Sunday Times bestseller, leading psychotherapist Philippa Perry reveals the vital do's and don'ts of relationships. This is a book for us all. Whether you are interested in understanding how your upbringing has shaped you, looking to handle your child's feelings or wishing to support your partner, you will find indispensable information and realistic tips here. Philippa Perry's sane, sage and judgement-free advice is an essential resource on how to have the best possible relationships with the people who matter to you most.
-
-
Excellent advice overall
- By Kindle Customer on 05-06-21
By: Philippa Perry
-
Smart Women Finish Rich, Expanded and Updated
- By: David Bach
- Narrated by: David Bach, Kathleen McInerney
- Length: 13 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
With over one million copies sold - Smart Women Finish Rich is one of the most popular financial books for women ever written. A perennial bestseller for over two decades, now Bach returns with a completely updated, expanded, and revised edition, Smart Women Finish Rich, to address the new financial concerns and opportunities for today's women.
-
-
The regular person can understand/follow the info
- By Winnie on 02-01-22
By: David Bach
-
What Happened to You?
- Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing
- By: Oprah Winfrey, Bruce D. Perry
- Narrated by: Bruce D. Perry, Oprah Winfrey
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Have you ever wondered "Why did I do that?" or "Why can't I just control my behavior?" Others may judge our reactions and think, "What's wrong with that person?" When questioning our emotions, it's easy to place the blame on ourselves; holding ourselves and those around us to an impossible standard. It's time we started asking a different question. Through deeply personal conversations, Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry offer a groundbreaking and profound shift from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?”
-
-
I waited more than 30 years for this book.
- By Gary S. on 04-28-21
By: Oprah Winfrey, and others
-
The Birth Order Book
- Why You Are the Way You Are
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Wayne Shepherd
- Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Dr. Kevin Leman's The Birth Order Book will help you understand yourself, get along better with others, overcome ingrained tendencies you never thought you could get rid of, and be more successful in the workplace. This revised and updated audio edition of Dr. Leman's classic book includes more than 30 years of experience and research, current examples, and fascinating stories to show how birth order impacts your life.
-
-
Bleh, like reading a horoscope
- By Jeff on 07-15-10
By: Kevin Leman
-
And They Called It Camelot
- A Novel of Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis
- By: Stephanie Marie Thornton
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 17 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Few of us can claim to be the authors of our fate. Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy knows no other choice. With the eyes of the world watching, Jackie uses her effortless charm and keen intelligence to carve a place for herself among the men of history and weave a fairy tale for the American people, embodying a senator’s wife, a devoted mother, a First Lady - a queen in her own right. But all reigns must come to an end.
-
-
I tried to like this book
- By Rita T on 03-11-20
-
How to Be an Adult in Relationships
- The Five Keys to Mindful Loving
- By: David Richo
- Narrated by: David Richo
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
"Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this audiobook, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships - one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life.
-
-
very insightful and eye opening
- By Justine Laliberte on 05-09-18
By: David Richo
-
The Mountain Is You
- Transforming Self-Sabotage into Self-Mastery
- By: Brianna Wiest
- Narrated by: Stacey Glemboski
- Length: 5 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Coexisting but conflicting needs create self-sabotaging behaviors. This is why we resist efforts to change, often until they feel completely futile. But by extracting crucial insight from our most damaging habits, building emotional intelligence by better understanding our brains and bodies, releasing past experiences at a cellular level, and learning to act as our highest potential future selves, we can step out of our own way and into our potential.
-
-
Underwelming
- By Erin on 04-20-22
By: Brianna Wiest
-
The Unicorn Delusion
- How to Kill Your Inner Basic B*tch
- By: G. L. Lambert
- Narrated by: Patrick Stevens
- Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This book is the ultimate crash course on how to destroy your basic ways and hit reset in all aspects of your life. This is a hard, unflinching, punch to the gut that will break you out of your old typical habits and show you step by step how to jump-start your life by becoming a confident, take-no-prisoners, warrior queen. Are you basic? You don’t think so at first inspection but when you take a deeper look into your current life you have too many basic traits to count.
-
-
Should be required reading...
- By Vanessa on 11-19-19
By: G. L. Lambert
-
Journey of Souls
- Case Studies of Life Between Lives
- By: Michael Newton
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 11 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Now considered a classic in the field, this remarkable book was the first to fully explore the mystery of life between lives. Journey of Souls presents the first-hand accounts of 29 people placed in a "superconscious" state of awareness using Dr. Michael Newton's groundbreaking techniques. This unique approach allows Dr. Newton to reach his subjects' hidden memories of life in the spirit world after physical death.
-
-
Invaluable info - Horrible presentation
- By John on 09-22-12
By: Michael Newton
-
Year of Yes
- How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun and Be Your Own Person
- By: Shonda Rhimes
- Narrated by: Shonda Rhimes
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The megatalented creator of Grey's Anatomy and Scandal and executive producer of How to Get Away with Murder chronicles how saying yes for one year changed her life - and how it can change yours, too.
-
-
Began well, but disappointing
- By Gary on 11-30-15
By: Shonda Rhimes
-
Set Boundaries, Find Peace
- A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself
- By: Nedra Glover Tawwab
- Narrated by: Nedra Glover Tawwab
- Length: 8 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Healthy boundaries. We all know we should have them - in order to achieve work/life balance, cope with toxic people, and enjoy rewarding relationships with partners, friends, and family. But what do "healthy boundaries" really mean - and how can we successfully express our needs, say "no", and be assertive without offending others? Licensed counselor, sought-after relationship expert, and one of the most influential therapists on Instagram Nedra Glover Tawwab demystifies this complex topic for today's world.
-
-
Your Opinion is the Only Valid One
- By c on 05-13-21
-
You Are Your Best Thing
- Vulnerability, Shame Resilience, and the Black Experience
- By: Tarana Burke, Brené Brown
- Narrated by: Tarana Burke, Brené Brown, the Contributors, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Tarana Burke and Dr. Brené Brown bring together a dynamic group of Black writers, organizers, artists, academics, and cultural figures to discuss the topics the two have dedicated their lives to understanding and teaching: vulnerability and shame resilience.
-
-
Listen up...
- By HeyJude on 04-29-21
By: Tarana Burke, and others
-
Will I Ever Be Good Enough?
- Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
- By: Karyl McBride
- Narrated by: Karyl McBride
- Length: 7 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The first book specifically for daughters suffering from the emotional abuse of selfish, self-involved mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life for yourself.
-
-
A MUST read for everyone!
- By Barb on 10-29-12
By: Karyl McBride
-
The Path Made Clear
- Discovering Your Life's Direction and Purpose
- By: Oprah Winfrey
- Narrated by: Oprah Winfrey, full cast
- Length: 2 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Oprah shares what she sees as a guide for activating your deepest vision of yourself, offering the framework for creating not just a life of success, but one of significance. The audiobook’s ten chapters are organized to help you recognize the important milestones along the road to self-discovery, laying out what you really need in order to achieve personal contentment, and what life’s detours are there to teach us.
-
-
My life can never be the same!
- By Neidra Davis on 03-29-19
By: Oprah Winfrey
-
The Light We Carry
- Overcoming in Uncertain Times
- By: Michelle Obama
- Narrated by: Michelle Obama
- Length: 9 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
There may be no tidy solutions or pithy answers to life’s big challenges, but Michelle Obama believes that we can all locate and lean on a set of tools to help us better navigate change and remain steady within flux. In The Light We Carry, she opens a frank and honest dialogue with listeners, considering the questions many of us wrestle with: How do we build enduring and honest relationships? How can we discover strength and community inside our differences? What tools do we use to address feelings of self-doubt or helplessness? What do we do when it all starts to feel like too much?
-
-
Very Disappointing—Too Ego-filled
- By Patricia Webb on 11-29-22
By: Michelle Obama
-
The Art of War for Women
- Sun Tzu's Ancient Strategies and Wisdom for Winning at Work
- By: Chin-Ning Chu
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 5 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This brilliant adaptation of the ancient masterpiece The Art of War shows women how to use Sun Tzu's philosophy to win in every aspect of life. In the West, when we think of war, we imagine battle, casualties, brutality. But Sun Tsu, who wrote The Art of War 2,500 years ago, was Chinese, and their view of war is not about fighting. It is about determining the most efficient way of gaining victory with the least amount of conflict.
-
-
Not for Women Only
- By Ivy Anderson on 05-26-08
By: Chin-Ning Chu
-
I Am Debra Lee
- A Memoir
- By: Debra Lee
- Narrated by: Debra Lee
- Length: 9 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As an incredible glass-ceiling breaker and the woman who brought timeless television shows like The Game and Being Mary Jane to cable, Debra Lee has been the visionary responsible for elevating Black images and storytelling for decades. Now she’s telling her own story, in an intimate and eye-opening tale about the triumphant and tricky moments of a career in entertainment.
-
-
Shaky...
- By Lady T. on 03-25-23
By: Debra Lee
Critic reviews
"I am an author, writing coach and publisher, and an eldest daughter; my business partner is the youngest brother of three sisters. After reading The Eldest Daughter Effect I understood exactly how our relationship worked, its positives and negatives. I was amazed to find what a typical eldest daughter I am, and that so much of my attitudes and behaviour are coloured by this factor. The book has led me to have endless, fascinating conversations with others I can now easily identify as eldest daughters - and I will be recommending it to all of them. If you are an eldest daughter, you MUST read this book!" (Lucy McCarraher, author and managing editor, Rethink Press)
"Like looking at a reflection in the mirror--shrewdly discerning and comically accurate. This book uncovers the mysteries of why we eldest daughters are who we are. Valuable for those seeking insight into the eldest daughters in their lives. Even better for eldest daughters trying to understand their own profound sense of responsibility, expeditiousness, and perfectionism." (Holly Ruhl, PhD Early Childhood Psychologist)
"The Eldest Daughter Effect is a page turner. I couldn' t put it down and raced through it in one go!! Now I want to share the book with all my good friends - who of course are eldest daughters themselves - my walking buddy, my step daughter and many professional colleagues. The five qualities of Eldest Daughters (responsible, dedicated, expeditious, thoughtful, caring) even emerged as key descriptors of me in the systemic constellation inquiries I have done with my community of practice - so I affirm these research discoveries. I am indebted to Lisette and Wies for their insights, so beautifully captured in lively vignettes and flowing prose that offer a truly rewarding read. Brava!!!!" (Marilyn Hamilton, eldest daughter; author of Integral City)
What listeners say about The Eldest Daughter Effect
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Elizabeth E.
- 01-14-21
Privileged Perspective
This book is very well done, if you’re a white eldest daughter from a family that has some wealth, resources, and perhaps have never been divorced. Otherwise, this book lacks depth and inclusivity. The book does highlight some dispositions of an eldest daughter, but does not consider alternative family makeups outside of the nuclear family.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
14 people found this helpful