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Watch Your Junk and Other Advice for Expectant Fathers
- Narrated by: Phil Thron
- Length: 2 hrs and 47 mins
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Watch Your Junk and Other Advice for Expectant Fathers
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Publisher's summary
Watch Your Junk and Other Advice for Expectant Fathers tackles the subjects that other baby audiobooks ignore:
- Why you shouldn't touch the wand in the sonogram room
- The exact moment your opinion no longer counts
- How friends and family will respond to the news
- How TV and baby classes have lied to us
- Which poop jokes to expect in the delivery room
- How to convert diapers into usable guilt
- How to insure your child says your name first
- And much, much more
Watch Your Junk and Other Advice for Expectant Fathers includes a special twin version of fatherhood in the event that you are so much a man that you knocked up your wife twice at the same time.
Don't go into fatherhood unprepared; listen Watch Your Junk and Other Advice for Expectant Fathers today and know what to expect before it's too late.
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 107
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Story4 out of 5 stars 108
Popular blogger Karen Alpert shares her hysterical take on the many "joys" of parenting - I Heart My Little A-Holes is full of hilarious stories, lists, thoughts and pictures that will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Hilarious
- By Stephanie on 04-29-14
By: Karen Alpert
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Home Game
- An Accidental Guide to Fatherhood
- By: Michael Lewis
- Narrated by: Dan John Miller
- Length: 3 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 742
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 588
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Story4 out of 5 stars 592
When he became a father, Michael Lewis found himself expected to feel things that he didn't feel, and to do things that he couldn't see the point of doing. At first, this made him feel guilty, until he realized that all around him fathers were pretending to do one thing, to feel one way, when in fact they felt and did all sorts of things, then engaged in what amounted to an extended cover-up.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Michael Lewis gives his account of fatherhood
- By Adam Shields on 10-26-14
By: Michael Lewis
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Familyhood
- By: Paul Reiser
- Narrated by: Paul Reiser
- Length: 5 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 87
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 68
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Story4 out of 5 stars 69
In Familyhood, Reiser shares his observations on parenting, marriage, and mid-life with the wit, warmth, and humor that he’s so well-known for. From the first experience of sending his two boys off to summer camp to maneuvering the minefield of bad words learned at school, this hilarious new book captures the spirit of familyhood, the logical next frontier for Reiser’s trademark perspective on the universal truths of life, love, and relationships.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Witty and warm, a pleasurable read
- By Frank on 06-03-11
By: Paul Reiser
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#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,802
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,578
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,566
In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
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5 out of 5 stars
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IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 536
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 485
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Story4 out of 5 stars 486
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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Dude, You're Gonna Be a Dad!
- How to Get (Both of You) Through the Next 9 Months
- By: John Pfeiffer
- Narrated by: Mike Chamberlain
- Length: 4 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 569
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 491
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Story4 out of 5 stars 491
There are approximately 3,712 ways for a guy to look stupid during pregnancy-this book's here to help you avoid all (most) of them. And here's your first hint: Focus on what you can be doing for her rather than what's happening to her. She's pregnant. She knows that. You know that. And her one 152 baby books tell her exactly what she can expect. Your job is to learn what you can do between the stick turning blue and the drive to the delivery room to make the next nine months go as smoothly as possible.
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3 out of 5 stars
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A fun spirited, yet lacking book for the everyman
- By Frank on 12-10-13
By: John Pfeiffer
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Gummi Bears Should Not Be Organic
- And Other Opinions I Can't Back Up with Facts
- By: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Narrated by: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 75
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 67
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 67
In this latest mommy audiobook from the popular blogger, author, and TV personality, Stefanie will share her secrets for achieving a balance in motherhood between being protective and caring and downright bats--t crazy. She'll debunk some of the looniest parenting myths and reinforce others; she'll describe how, through as simple a process as good old trial and error, she's learned to pick and choose what works for her and her family, and tune out the rest.
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5 out of 5 stars
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You’re A Parent Now...Don't Mess It Up
- By Tim on 04-16-15
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Idiots
- Marriage, Motherhood, Milk & Mistakes
- By: Laura Clery
- Narrated by: Laura Clery
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,710
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,515
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Story5 out of 5 stars 1,507
A fresh, hilarious, and relatable collection of essays about everything from motherhood and marriage to sobriety and work-life balance (or imbalance) from the nationally bestselling author of the “honest, complicated” (SheKnows) Idiot.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Tears and laughs!!
- By Anonymous User on 04-07-22
By: Laura Clery
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Don't Lick the Minivan
- And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids
- By: Leanne Shirtliffe
- Narrated by: Trudie Kessler
- Length: 7 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 217
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 196
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Story4 out of 5 stars 191
As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia's sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia.
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1 out of 5 stars
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I Guess You Had to Be There?
- By Sara on 09-08-14
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Everything You Ever Wanted
- A Memoir
- By: Jillian Lauren
- Narrated by: Jillian Lauren
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 69
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 60
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Story5 out of 5 stars 58
In her younger years, Jillian Lauren was a college dropout, a drug addict, and an international concubine in the Prince of Brunei's harem, an experience she immortalized in her best-selling memoir, Some Girls. In her 30s, Jillian's most radical act is learning the steadying power of love when she and her rock star husband adopt an Ethiopian child with special needs.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great for adoptive families
- By berry bomb on 07-06-22
By: Jillian Lauren
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Instant Mom
- By: Nia Vardalos
- Narrated by: Nia Vardalos
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 224
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 201
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 201
Some families are created in different ways but are still, in every way, a family. Writer and star of My Big Fat Greek Wedding Nia Vardalos firmly believed she was supposed to be a mom, but Mother Nature and modern medicine had put her in a headlock. So she made a choice that shocked friends, family, and even herself: with only 14 hours' notice, she adopted a preschooler.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A wealth of information for those who wish to adopt
- By Michele Sutherland on 01-11-23
By: Nia Vardalos
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Inconceivable
- A Medical Mistake, the Baby We Couldn't Keep, and Our Choice to Deliver the Ultimate Gift
- By: Carolyn Savage, Sean Savage
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell, Danny Campbell
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 67
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 57
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 54
A medical mistake during an IVF procedure.An unthinkable situation....you're pregnant with the wrong baby. You can terminate, but you can't keep him. What choice would you make?
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3 out of 5 stars
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"Misconception" and "Inconceivable"
- By Simone on 12-17-12
By: Carolyn Savage, and others
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This Is Not Over
- A Novel
- By: Holly Brown
- Narrated by: Madeleine Maby, Donna Postel
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 122
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 115
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Story4 out of 5 stars 114
Two very different women with this in common: Each harbors her own secret, her own reason why she can't just let this go. Neither can yield, not before they've dredged up all that's hidden, even if it has the power to shatter all they've built.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Pettiness Turn Twisted!
- By Jenn on 01-19-17
By: Holly Brown
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The Very Worst Missionary
- A Memoir or Whatever
- By: Jamie Wright
- Narrated by: Madeleine Lambert
- Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 316
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 278
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 281
After finding Jesus at a suburban megachurch, young Jamie Wright trades in the easy life on the cul-de-sac for the green fields of Costa Rica. There, along with her husband, kids, and the family cat, she intends to serve God and make converts. But she soon loses faith and falls into a funk of cynicism and despair. Fortunately, Knives the cat is there, looking on with just enough disinterest to make her laugh...and dare her to try another way. That other way turns out to be telling the truth. She launches a renegade blog, Jamie the Very Worst Missionary, which wins a large following.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Didn’t like the book
- By Jonathan on 04-17-20
By: Jamie Wright
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Expecting Adam
- A True Story of Birth, Rebirth, and Everyday Magic
- By: Martha Beck
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 12 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 272
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 240
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 243
From the moment Martha and her husband, John, conceived their second child, all hell broke loose. They were a couple obsessed with success. After years of matching IQs and test scores with less driven peers, they had two Harvard degrees apiece and were gunning for more. But the dream had begun to disintegrate. Then, when their unborn son, Adam, was diagnosed with Down syndrome, doctors, advisers, and friends in the Harvard community warned them not to keep the baby.
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5 out of 5 stars
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True Life Fairy Tale
- By Desarae on 11-27-13
By: Martha Beck
What listeners say about Watch Your Junk and Other Advice for Expectant Fathers
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jamie Robertson
- 05-29-21
So VERY true for any and all fathers out there
Father of two here (and no, not the "T" word, thank GOD). I'm listening to this while installing ceiling fans into my childrens' rooms, and laughing all the way. This is funny because it's true and told in Ben Wallace's own unique and winsomely funny way.
I have a few quibbles here and there about certain precise specifics (because every kid is so different, and because wipe warmers were a life saver while our children were both newborns), but each section rings aloud with hilarious frankness.
And buy this book for your fellow dads, and your dad and dad-in-law. It's fun for every parent.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- steven
- 02-22-19
absolutely amazing
Being not only an expectant father and a fan of both the narrator and author, I loved this book. everyone needs to read this, its fonking hilarious and full of great tips.
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5 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- IT/IS Professor and Dad
- 12-14-20
fun listen for dads. helpful for expecting dad
fun. true. trip down memory lane because my kids are grown. Phil thron is perfect
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anders Skov
- 02-17-23
Very enjoyable. And terrifying. For me at least
It is a great book about the frightening delightful shocking thrilling entertaining exciting gratifying amusing of becoming a dad.
With good advice in a fun way.
And Phil is a great narrator.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Corinn
- 06-10-19
that's not what toxoplasmosis is... but
it's still a really funny book with good advice. it made me laugh out loud!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 08-27-19
Entertaining and usefull one
Really liked it, almost made me binge it. Hope the abvices in it ll work...
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 12-30-21
Why would a review need a headline?
Kind of funny, only a little sexist, full of practical advice. I feel like this is a more useful Dad book than most, but shouldn't be the only one you read.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Claudio Novoa
- 06-03-19
Funny
it's much more funny than useful, really. But the narrator makes it worth the time tho
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2 people found this helpful