Too Perfect

When Being in Control Gets Out of Control

By: Allan E. Mallinger MD, Jeannette De Wyze

Narrated by: Jeannette De Wyze

Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins

Publisher's summary

For many of us, perfectionism can bring life's most desired rewards. But when the obsessive need for perfection and control gets in the way of our professional and emotional lives, the cost becomes too high. Although many of us appear cool and confident on the outside, inside we are in emotional turmoil, trying to satisfy everyone, attempting to direct the future, and feeling that we are failing.

In Too Perfect, Dr. Allan Mallinger draws on 20 years of research and observations from his private practice to show how perfectionism can sap energy, complicate even the simplest decisions, and take the enjoyment out of life. For workaholics or neat freaks, for anyone who fears change or making mistakes, needs rigid rules, is excessively frugal or obstinate, Too Perfect offers revealing self-tests, fascinating case histories, and practical strategies to help us overcome obsessiveness and reclaim our right to happiness.

©1992 Allan E. Mallinger and Jeannette De Wyze (P)2020 Tantor

My boyfriend is obsessive

It described exactly what happens in our house everyday. He is not all these things, but a lot of them. I want to have empathy for him, but it’s difficult. He doesn’t seem to care that he is negatively affecting our relationship and I have a daughter that I don’t want her to be affected by this behavior. Im going to have him read and then we can assess our relationship. Whatever happens I’m good with it…now

Helpful

This is the type of complimentary book I’ve been looking for to suggest to my OCPD clients and others with related struggles with obsessiveness. Very well done!

I feel validated, and attacked... in a good way

I struggled with finding an acceptable book to really learn about OCPD. This is it. it really just... pins me down and makes you say okay. Well now I know why I can't stop and can't let this go and react to this in this manner. I had to order a text copy for my gf because it's just. So on point.

edit: I've given a text copy to my girlfriend to help her understand d my reactions and feelings. I've recommended this to at least 4 people since I heard it and I read the text copy.

You know these sorts of people

You’ve probably known people who are obsessive: picky, critical, guarded, overworked yet unable to finish tasks or make simple decisions. These control freaks can be hard to live with even if they are attractive in other ways. They can also be unhappy.
Dr. Al Mallinger has been trying to help such people in his psychiatric practice for decades. Over the years, he has developed a variety of techniques for helping these perfectionists let go of their bad habits and lighten up. His work has changed lives, saved marriages and families, and helped obsessives overcome sadness and depression.
In 1992, with the aid of journalist and medical writer Jeannette De Wyze, Mallinger wrote "Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets Out of Control," a book designed to help both obsessives and the people who live and work with them. The book is crammed with anecdotes about real people we’ve all met but never really understood. (The names have been changed.)
"Too Perfect" has remained in print for nearly 30 years and been translated into German, Spanish, and Chinese. Taiwan’s military once bought a batch of them to train its officers.
In 2020, Tantor Media (a division of Recorded Books) produced the first audio book version of "Too Perfect," read by co-author Jeannette De Wyze. Now obsessives who are too overworked to read books can listen to Mallinger’s advice while riding their exercise bikes or lifting weights. And the friends, loved ones, bosses, and subordinates of these perfectionistic people will take comfort from De Wyze’s soothing voice. Obsessiveness can be treated, even cured!

What a book for OCPD People!

Exactly the kind of book I was looking for to explore OCPD characteristics. It hit all the right spots!