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Beauty Queens | [Libba Bray]

Beauty Queens

The 50 contestants in the Miss Teen Dream pageant thought this was going to be a fun trip to the beach, where they could parade in their state-appropriate costumes and compete in front of the cameras. But sadly, their airplane had another idea, crashing on a desert island and leaving the survivors stranded with little food, little water, and practically no eyeliner. What’s a beauty queen to do? Continue to practice for the talent portion of the program - or wrestle snakes to the ground? Get a perfect tan - or learn to run wild? And what should happen when the sexy pirates show up?
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Publisher's Summary

The 50 contestants in the Miss Teen Dream pageant thought this was going to be a fun trip to the beach, where they could parade in their state-appropriate costumes and compete in front of the cameras. But sadly, their airplane had another idea, crashing on a desert island and leaving the survivors stranded with little food, little water, and practically no eyeliner. What’s a beauty queen to do? Continue to practice for the talent portion of the program - or wrestle snakes to the ground? Get a perfect tan - or learn to run wild? And what should happen when the sexy pirates show up? Welcome to the heart of non-exfoliated darkness.

©2011 Libba Bray (P)2011 Scholastic Audio

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

3.4 (286 )
5 star
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Overall
3.3 (249 )
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Story
3.9 (246 )
5 star
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3 star
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2 star
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1 star
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Performance
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  •  
    Vanessa Edmonton, AB, Canada 09-12-11
    Vanessa Edmonton, AB, Canada 09-12-11 Member Since 2006
    HELPFUL VOTES
    11
    ratings
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    "No one left unscathed"

    Libba takes a shot at everyone in this book. You can't take it seriously even though there are some serious messages hidden in the humour. This is NOT an 11-13 year old (which is the category it's in). Save it for your older teens. Near the end Bray starts to lose focus and like Going Bovine, needed an editor to say "reel it in" but overall the book was a keeper.

    8 of 8 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Lauren Toronto, Ontario, Canada 05-18-12
    Lauren Toronto, Ontario, Canada 05-18-12
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Not what you might expect"
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    I would recommend this book in a heartbeat. It's laugh-out-loud funny and manages to get important messages across about beauty ideals and gender without being preachy. Bray sends up the pageant world while treating the girls with tenderness and care. She manages to combine a plane full of beauty queens, a secret island hideaway for evil corporation agents, an Elvis-loving South American dictator and a boatload of pirates in a farce that is chock-full of wonderfully fleshed-out characters and tons of social commentary about the pitfalls of commercialism and capitalism.


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Beauty Queens?

    I loved the backstories we got on all the girls - especially Mary Lou's suppression of her 'Wild Girl' side and the way she rediscovers it on the island. You might not expect swoon from a book that has a plane full of girls crash landing on an apparently deserted island, but there's swoon aplenty.


    What does Libba Bray bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    Libba Bray brings these characters to LIFE with her narration. I don't know how she kept all the accents straight - but these beauty queens are in a national competition, so they represent several different states across the U.S. Each character had a distinct voice and that really helped to bring their personalities to life.
    There's also wonderful, very professional production of the little 'commercial' interludes - with perfect accompanying music and sound effects.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Seeing the girls come together and get past their differences in order to survive was very touching. Hearing them form unexpected bonds and get to know one another in a much more in-depth way than they would have if they had only competed against one another in a beauty pageant was great.


    Any additional comments?

    There's a bonus interview section with Libba Bray at the end of the book where she answers some questions and explains some of her influences. It's hilarious!

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Helen Marshville, New Caledonia 02-23-14
    Helen Marshville, New Caledonia 02-23-14 Member Since 2007
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "This book is the worst book ever written"
    What disappointed you about Beauty Queens?

    It was stupid. The foot notes were annoying.


    Has Beauty Queens turned you off from other books in this genre?

    no but will never buy another Libba Bray book


    How could the performance have been better?

    Burn it!


    What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

    Anger that I bought this book


    Any additional comments?

    Terribly written

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Natalie Catania 03-11-12 Member Since 2008
    HELPFUL VOTES
    4
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    "Such a Ride!!"
    If you could sum up Beauty Queens in three words, what would they be?

    Just Listen to it! All I have to say:)


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    Tiara- super funny!!


    What does Libba Bray bring to the story that you wouldn???t experience if you just read the book?

    All of the Characters voices! She did a Fantastic job!


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    Laugh out loud!


    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Tabitha Washington, DC, United States 02-27-12
    Tabitha Washington, DC, United States 02-27-12 Member Since 2011
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Loved that the Author narrated the book!"

    Hilarious, entertaining, great characters. I usually don't like when there are too many story lines, but I loved getting to know all the girls and their backgrounds. The author doing the narration was great and I thought really added to the book!

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Aaron St. Louis, MO, United States 06-10-11
    Aaron St. Louis, MO, United States 06-10-11 Member Since 2004
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Fun, Funky and Fresh"

    The main problem I had with this book is the action/humor where not consistent. Half a dozen scenes could have been edited. With that said...this is the ONLY thing negative about this book. This book was LOADS OF FUN to read. Very funny. Drive-thru Plastic Surgery? Christian Pole-Dancing. Love it. Bray as a reader? BRILLIANT. One of the best performances I have listened to. Teens will eat this one up. Very new. Very fresh. I can't wait to see the movie.

    8 of 10 people found this review helpful
  •  
    T. Cannon OREM, UTAH, United States 03-09-14
    T. Cannon OREM, UTAH, United States 03-09-14 Member Since 2013
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
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    "Sounds like it was written by a 13 year old."
    What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

    The listening experience was fine, but the book was not well written.


    Has Beauty Queens turned you off from other books in this genre?

    No.


    What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

    Major disappointment.


    Any additional comments?

    I would not recommend this book to the last sole survivor of a plane crash on a deserted island. Even if it was the only book available.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Shelly ELIZABETHTOWN, KY, United States 01-16-14
    Shelly ELIZABETHTOWN, KY, United States 01-16-14 Member Since 2013
    HELPFUL VOTES
    3
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    "Teen Book... ;("
    What disappointed you about Beauty Queens?

    Has a good plot but no context...


    What was most disappointing about Libba Bray’s story?

    the bells and notes... hated them


    What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

    made it through chapter 3 and just stopped... it is way to childlish for me.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Mia Oslo, Norway 12-11-12
    Mia Oslo, Norway 12-11-12 Member Since 2012

    I am a miracle worker. Doing what I can to choose love over fear.

    HELPFUL VOTES
    104
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    Performance
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    "Satire with class"
    What made the experience of listening to Beauty Queens the most enjoyable?

    Libba Bray deserves an award for giving each character a unique voice. Each state represented in this book is highlighted by taking for example slang used in Texas into the character Taylor from the lone star state. In addition the book is not a simple Youth book,it makes fun of beauty queens,IQ, and chick-lit. How this could or can be seen as a book for young teens is beyond me. It is satirical on every page laughing at the many teen obsessions it covers. The language is not P.G… I wish Libba wrote "Love unscripted" she would nail it. The genre is so her.


    Would you be willing to try another book from Libba Bray? Why or why not?

    Yes, too sad she does not read the others herself.


    Which scene was your favorite?

    When Petra shares her secret.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Yes, when the girls decided to back Petra.


    Any additional comments?

    This is a great listen for those days when beauty magazines fail, you need to relax etc

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Dianne Cape May, NJ, United States 11-11-12
    Dianne Cape May, NJ, United States 11-11-12 Member Since 2009
    HELPFUL VOTES
    7
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    "Not for very young adults"

    I would recommend the first six chapters of the book. They are laugh-out-loud funny and satirical. But after that the book bogs down with too many politically correct messages to convey, a silly story line, and the outrageous humor gets dimmed. The language and sexual suggestions make this a book for older teens, not younger teens The narration is outstanding and I looked forward to each time the characters of Taylor and Tiara spoke.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Showing: 1-10 of 49 results PREVIOUS125NEXT
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  • Jenny
    UK
    7/26/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Unexpectedly wonderful"
    If you could sum up Beauty Queens in three words, what would they be?

    Hilarious (meaningful?) parody


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    Too hard to decide.


    What does Libba Bray bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you had only read the book?

    Huge enthusiasm and crazy enjoyment


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    A lot of moments when the girls come to recognise their own abilities. Also a lot of the stuff about Petra and Tiara.


    Any additional comments?

    It is completely ridiculous but I enjoyed it massively.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • J
    Kensington, South Africa
    6/12/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Best book of the year, hands down!"

    I am so glad I downloaded this book. It is, hands-down, the best book I have read/heard in ages! I found myself wishing it would never end.

    It is truly hilarious while still delivering biting satire on our culture and the roles, expectations and double standards assigned to girls in particular.

    The author reads the book herself and her delivery is an absolute treat, especially her delivery of the differing US accents.

    Do yourself a favour and get this one - you will not be disappointed!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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