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Beauty Queens
- Narrated by: Libba Bray
- Length: 14 hrs and 33 mins
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Five Aston has known Rory Shrike for as long as he can remember. He played with her in the sandbox. He went to every damn horse show just to be supportive. He helped her with her French, walked her home from school, and faked his test scores just to stay with her a little longer and not be sent off to college early. But eventually he had to move on. And so did she. Never has a second chance meant so much to a boy who loves a girl.
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✫✫ 5 Stars ✫✫
- By 🎧 Cyndi Marie 🎧 on 02-02-18
By: JA Huss
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The New Moon's Arms
- By: Nalo Hopkinson
- Narrated by: Gin Hammond
- Length: 9 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Calamity is confronting two big transitions: the death of her beloved father and the beginning of menopause, a physical shift that has rekindled her gift for finding lost things. Suddenly, she is getting hot flashes that seem to forge objects out of thin air, most notably a four-year old boy. As Calamity takes the child into her care, she discovers that all is not as it seems. Then, Calamity must reawaken to the mysteries surrounding her own childhood and the early disappearance of her mother.
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What a joy
- By newmoon on 07-05-19
By: Nalo Hopkinson
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Alex, Approximately
- By: Jenn Bennett
- Narrated by: Amy Melissa Bentley
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Classic movie buff Bailey "Mink" Rydell has spent months crushing on a witty film geek she only knows online by "Alex". Two coasts separate the teens until Bailey moves in with her dad, who lives in the same California surfing town as her online crush. Faced with doubts (what if he's a creep in real life - or worse?), Bailey doesn't tell Alex she's moved to his hometown. Or that she's landed a job at the local tourist-trap museum. Or that she's being heckled daily by the irritatingly hot museum security guard, Porter Roth - a.k.a. her new arch-nemesis.
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Great But Don't Read the Synopsis!
- By Lorna on 09-26-17
By: Jenn Bennett
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Bleeding Violet
- By: Dia Reeves
- Narrated by: Suzy Jackson
- Length: 9 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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With a head plagued by hallucinations, a medicine cabinet full of pills, and a closet stuffed with frilly, violet dresses, Hanna's tired of being the outcast, the weird girl, the freak. So she runs away to Portero, Texas, in search of a new home. But Portero is a stranger town than Hanna expects. She discovers secrets that would terrify any normal soul. Good thing for Hanna, she's far from normal. As this crazy girl meets an even crazier town, only two things are certain: Anything can happen, and no one is safe.
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Didn't like it. Sorry, not sorry
- By Cii'Em on 02-15-16
By: Dia Reeves
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Love at First Sight
- A Cupid, Texas Novel, Book 1
- By: Lori Wilde
- Narrated by: C. J. Critt
- Length: 11 hrs and 38 mins
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Natalie McCleary couldn't believe her eyes - a lean-muscled, darkly tanned, nearly naked man stood in her path...and then it hit her: love. Everyone always told her it would hit like a thunderbolt, and she never believed them. But now she knew: practical, sensible Natalie was head over heels in love - with a stranger. But ex-Navy SEAL Dade Vega wasn't about to be a stranger for long.
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Enjoyable romance, but not memorable.
- By Karen on 06-01-13
By: Lori Wilde
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Bewitching
- By: Alex Flinn
- Narrated by: Casey Holloway
- Length: 9 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Once, I put a curse on a beastly and arrogant high school boy. That one turned out all right. Others didn’t. I go to a new school now - one where no one knows that I should have graduated long ago. I’m not still here because I’m stupid; I just don’t age. You see, I’m immortal. And I pretty much know everything after hundreds of years - except for when to take my powers and butt out. Now a girl named Emma needs me. I probably shouldn’t get involved, but her gorgeous stepsister is conniving to the core.
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Emma and Kendra
- By Elizabeth Gordon on 07-12-16
By: Alex Flinn
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Because You Love to Hate Me
- 13 Tales of Villainy
- By: Ameriie - editor
- Narrated by: Ameriie, Kevin T. Collins, Julia Whelan
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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In this unique YA anthology, 13 acclaimed, best-selling authors team up with 13 influential BookTubers to reimagine fairy tales from the oft-misunderstood villains' points of view. These fractured, unconventional spins on classics like Medusa, Sherlock Holmes, and 'Jack and the Beanstalk' provide a behind-the-curtain look at villains' acts of vengeance, defiance, and rage - and the pain, heartbreak, and sorrow that spurned them on. No fairy tale will ever seem quite the same again!
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I enjoyed more than I expected
- By Doha on 08-30-17
By: Ameriie - editor
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Witches of East End
- By: Melissa de la Cruz
- Narrated by: Katie Schorr
- Length: 7 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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The three Beauchamp women—Joanna and her daughters Freya and Ingrid—live in North Hampton, out on the tip of Long Island. Their beautiful, mist-shrouded town seems almost stuck in time, and all three women lead seemingly quiet, uneventful existences. But they are harboring a mighty secret—they are powerful witches banned from using their magic. Joanna can resurrect people from the dead and heal the most serious of injuries....
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Actually a nice, light listen
- By Theodore on 03-15-12
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Allison Hewitt Is Trapped
- A Zombie Novel
- By: Madeleine Roux
- Narrated by: Piper Goodeve
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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One woman's story as she blogs about - and fights back against - the zombie apocalypse.
Allison Hewitt and her five colleagues at the Brooks and Peabody Bookstore are trapped together when the zombie outbreak hits. Allison reaches out for help through her blog, writing on her laptop. It may also be her only chance to reach her mother. But as the reality of their situation sinks in, Allison's blog becomes a harrowing account of her edge-of-the-seat adventures.
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lots of potential but disappointing
- By Linda B on 04-29-11
By: Madeleine Roux
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Stories
- All-New Tales
- By: Neil Gaiman - author/editor, Al Sarrantonio - editor, Joe Hill, and others
- Narrated by: Anne Bobby, Jonathan Davis, Katherine Kellgren, and others
- Length: 18 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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The best stories pull readers in and keep them turning the pages, eager to discover more—to find the answer to the question: "And then what happened?" The true hallmark of great literature is great imagination, and as Neil Gaiman and Al Sarrantonio prove with this outstanding collection, when it comes to great fiction, all genres are equal.
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Something for Everyone
- By Nicole on 05-24-17
By: Neil Gaiman - author/editor, and others
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Sweet Evil
- By: Wendy Higgins
- Narrated by: Erin Mallon
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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What if there were teens whose lives literally depended on being bad influences? This is the reality for sons and daughters of fallen angels. Tenderhearted Southern girl Anna Whitt was born with the sixth sense to see and feel emotions of other people. She's aware of a struggle within herself, an inexplicable pull toward danger, but Anna, the ultimate good girl, has always had the advantage of her angel side to balance the darkness within. It isn't until she turns 16 and meets the alluring Kaidan Rowe that she discovers her terrifying heritage and her willpower is put to the test.
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Eh...
- By Bee on 03-19-13
By: Wendy Higgins
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4.19 stars
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What listeners say about Beauty Queens
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Eleanor
- 02-25-16
I absolutely love this book
I've read this book at least 5 times and each time it just gets better
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- rebecca
- 06-13-14
I hate my self for liking it so much
Where does Beauty Queens rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
I listened to it twice, I have only done this a few times with other books. It ranks in my top 20
Who was your favorite character and why?
Crystal Renee, I have a soft spot for crazy
Which character – as performed by Libba Bray – was your favorite?
Crystal Renee from the great state of Texas
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
When Miss Texas was taking out the armed corporation workers
Any additional comments?
I really didn't want to like this book so much, but you can't control these things as much as you would like. The story flows really well, two of the main characters are extremely likable.
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- Cynthia Roman
- 03-30-18
This book deserves the crown
I am a Libba Bray fan, so buying Beauty Queens was a no brainer for me; however, I did not expect to enjoy this book as much as I did.
I think that the author did an excellent job dealing with some pretty weighty themes, such as self esteem, girl power, friendship, etc. And combining them with multiple sub plots such as corporate greed, the ridiculous nonsense company feed the public on a daily basis, and politics and weaving them together in a fun, entertaining, and relevant web called Beauty Queens.
I very rarely re-read (listen to more than once) books, but this book I have listened to twice already.
I recommend this book to all of my friends who ask for a good book.
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- Madison B Buxton
- 05-12-20
Funny!
Struggled to finish, but enjoyed the satire. Got a bit annoyed with the characters, but enjoyed the plot.
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- Melanie
- 07-30-23
Good satire
Natrator was a BIT much. Super campy. Pretty much hilarious outrageousness and an overall good message. I thought the Pirates were weird at first but just went with it. I'd love to see this translated to a movie lolol it would be hilarious.
only con was the way one character always yelled, deaf people don't do that. it was annoying while listening and like a joke that didn't work. maybe it didn't age well.
still a fun read
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- suzanne
- 02-17-14
Laugh out loud in public places!
If you like witty satire of American culture - this book is for you. This book pokes fun at everything - beauty pageants, TV commercials, hair removal products, reality shows, boy bands, corporate America, and even has a Sarah Palin-esque presidential hopeful and a Kim Jong-Il type with lots more than world domination on his mind.
There's also a serious side to all this silliness - a look at how women are portrayed in the media, the expectations that women are faced with from society, how it's ok if you haven't got it all figured out by the time you're 16 years old.
All of the "footnotes" got a little annoying - I found they interrupted the flow of the story. Other than that - I think this is a great book for young women especially.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Nick
- 10-26-11
I Really Wanted to Like It
Trust me, I really did. I loved Going Bovine and all her other novels but this one was so bland and empty. I couldn't really figure out who the main character was and when there was mention of spy activity, I stopped. Her other novels are fantastic and this was funny to a point. But it was not impressive.
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- Parajunkee
- 12-11-12
Unexpected Awesomeness...Libba Bray is fantastic.
PJV Quickie: My initial thoughts with ‘Beauty Queens’ were, of course, captivation with the cover, but the concept threw me through a loop. I hadn’t read Bray before, so I wasn’t familiar with her writing style or sense of humor. This led to an initial trepidation, satire is not always my cup-of-tea, along with force-fed cultural messages, but I think I made a wise choice in partaking via audiobook. Libba Bray did her own narration and the added benefit of some extra “special effects” made ‘Beauty Queens’ via audio a pleasure to experience.
Review:
The descriptor, Lord of the Flies with Beauty Queens has been touted around a lot in regards to this book. And while on a base level, yes the two novels can be synonymous with the coming of age on a deserted island motif, but I think it is doing ‘Beauty Queens’ an injustice to be described as such. The novel is basically about the pressures of the teenage years in a materialistically saturated environment and how this crash landing actually enables these girls to shrug off the yokes their parents and society have placed upon their shoulders and become the women they can be and should be. But, in a fun and sparkly way of course!
In ‘Beauty Queens’ we meet a host of larger-than-life characters, like Miss Texas, Taylor Rene Krystal Hawkins, who is a card-carrying member of Femmes and Firearms and practically worships LadyBird Hope, one of the corporations Big Wigs and presidential hopeful, a former Miss Teen Dream winner. Then there is Adina Greenburg, Miss New Hampshire, who is actually on an under cover mission from her schools newspaper to expose the Miss Teen Dream for what it is, a subversive instrument of female repression. Or there is Mary Lou Novak, Miss Nebraska, who comes to the island wearing a purity ring, but later realizes her inner wild girl needs to roam free…
I could go on and on about the sheer hilarity of this novel and the great characters that Bray created. Even her villains were brilliant, MoMo B. ChaCha, is the leader of the Republic of ChaCha and is obsessed with American Reality television and Elvis. I was thinking Gadhafi every time his character came to the forefront. Bray paired Momo and Ladybird together and I was literally gagging imagining Sarah Palin (Bray used a nasally northern accent to represent Ladybird which had Sarah Palin written all over it) and Gadhafi going at it in a heart-shaped hot tub. Yeah — sorry for the mental image.
Take all those great characters and weave within it, off-the-wall marketing schemes, hilarious product placement and just brilliant, brilliant story creation and you’ll have an almost perfect read. Then trump that with the audiobook, which had Bray as the narrator (She did like a million different voices impeccably!). It also had sound effects with the footnotes (when the characters would mention products a footnote would appear) and commercial breaks which would have me laughing out loud and then the finale of a great interview with Bray herself – this is one I highly recommend grabbing up in audiobook form.
You don’t want to pass up this novel. Nope. Don’t do it.
Recommendations:
This is for a more mature teen audience, sexuality, violence and cultural stigmas, along with alternative lifestyles are all covered. Fans of more wittier satires should really enjoy. It is sometimes described as a dystopian and if you are looking for this genre, I wouldn’t call this title a dystopian. The world, is a satirical depiction of our own society and while yes, it seems more nefarious then our own society, it was pretty much on target. I would not put this one in the dystopian category, more of a modern commentary.
Other AudioBooks You Might Enjoy:
Grave Mercy: His Fair Assassin by R. L. LaFevers
Daughter of Smoke & Bone by Laini Taylor
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- Megan
- 06-15-12
Strong start, Weak finish
I really enjoyed the beginning, but at some point...not sure what point, it became really hard to listen to. The idea of the story--beauty queens stranded on an island--is really appealing; but after the first 3rd of the book, the jokes were spent, and the concept became overworked. Delving into the background of the girls didn't make them more human to me, it just made it that much harder to relate to the characters. Everything from the plot, to the foot notes, to the commercial breaks belabored her point of our shallow society to the point of morose exhaustion.
I will admit she did an excellent job narrating, which is why I purchased the book to begin with. Her accents were greatand were about the only thing giving these girls' real distinction from on to the other. Even halfway through the book I still found myself thinking, "Now which girl is that?"
All in all, it was entertaining, but not a hit.
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- Morgan
- 07-01-15
Hard to get into
I found that if you can stick with this book for the first few hours it turns out to be an okay message. However to get there you have to wade through stereotypes and some well unrealistic outcomes.
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