In this vivid, engaging and eminently wise work, Dr. Lerner teaches women to identify the true sources of anger and to use anger as a powerful vehicle for creating meaningful and lasting change. The challenge of anger is at the heart of our struggle with intimacy, self-esteem, and joy. The Dance of Anger has inspired more "You changed my life" stories from both women and men than perhaps any other best seller on the American scene today.
©1985 Harriet Lerner, Ph.D.; (P)1997, 2004 HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.
"An inspirational message for all women....Like a family heirloom, it can be passed from generation to generation, as it is based on profound and lasting truths." (Peggy Papp, M.S.W., The Ackerman Institute for Family Therapy)
This book was recommended to me by my counselor and fortunately I found it on audible.com! My counselor said that she thought it was very psychologically sound and that kind of thing. As far as I know (I'm no psychologist however), that's right.
The narrator (author) has a slight accent and her voice isn't exactly lively or full of enthusiasm, but it's certainly not boring once you listen to it for a while. I didn't fall asleep or start tuning out the narrator when I was listening.
I found this book really interesting and helpful. It gave me a lot of insight on how to deal with anger and with people that I have conflicts with. It talks about relationships between couples a lot but I'm not married and I still found the advice helpful for dealing with family members, roommates (in college), and other people I know.
For me, it was a book I had to take in small doses. I couldn't listen to it in consecutive days when I went running as I do with other audiobooks (primarily novels) because I needed time to digest things that I heard. Psychology isn't as easy for me to take in large doses as it is for me to take in novels and stories.
Another thing is that I am a really visual learner and for a book like this, I would probably find it more helpful to read it in book form so I could highlight certain parts and go back to it when I need to later on. I don't usually listen to really information packed stuff and remember it all that well. But I'm still glad I bought the audiobook because it was a good way to get through the book quickly even though I can't remember all the advice I got from it. I got to listen to it all and maybe later I'll buy the book and then go back an reread it slowly, underlining stuff and processing it and applying it slowly. But who knows, maybe if I listen to it a couple times I'll be able to get it as ingrained into my system as I would by physically reading it.
This is probably a must-read (or must-listen) for every woman. As with all things in psychology, it is the study of the obvious, except that human beings don't see the obvious when it is right in front of our noses. I found it remarkably helpful, and will listen to it again.
The book has different stories used as examples, and moves quickly. It is read by the author, who has a somewhat flat voice, but one could easily imagine sitting listening to her, a real person, giving a talk on this, and she often interjects comments which sound as if they are not in the script.
After I heard this, I felt buoyant, because she so clearly described feelings that I have struggled with, and gave straightforward suggestions for dealing with those feelings. She is not talking about mental illness here, but about the way women in our society do not deal with anger in a way that helps us to better negotiate our lives. I thought her ideas and presentation were terrific.
This book was recommended to me. I have ADD so books are hard to read so I bought this in audio form. It's easy to listen to. But everything makes so much sense. It changed all my relationships for the better, even the ones that I didn't think needed to be fixed. I recommend it to anyone with relationship issues, whether it's your parent/child relationship, inlaw relationship, husband/wife relationship, sibling relationship, etc.
Helps take accountability. Any person who struggles with anger knows that the struggle is inside yourself, not with others. This book, which I'm sure I will come back to many times in my life, helps you take accountability for your actions in a healthy way.
The author gives great advice on determining one's place in triangles and other family dynamics. She also shares steps to take in healing and possible reactions from those around us.
I'm male and this book was suggested for me anyway, and I'm glad I listened to it. I both benefited from it personally and I was able to understand the woman's perspective within a marriage/family dynamic better.
The author was also the narrator and that was pretty rough. Otherwise it was well worth the listen.
Full of examples to help apply to your life.
I would highly recommend this book to everyone. Angry is a tricky thing and this book helps people use it in a healthy way. And since everyone has or should feel anger in their life, this is applicable to all.
It was among my favorites
I liked the author's realistic perspective
authentic, unrehearsed, familiar
Many of the situations were familiar
I think it would be helpful to keep this in a rotation to listen to regularly. Very helpful advice.
At the end of the audio she mentions exercises you could do, but they're not included in the audio version.
I liked the way it was formatted, it made it easy to follow. It was relatable to everyday life and certain current & past situations.
The overall discussion of the fear of standing up for yourself because of the confrontations that it can cause.
There was no one point that stood out above any other. I found value throughout all the sections.
Because of the volume of information in the book I will need to listen to it a second time before pulling things out to use. The author recommends you review the book to get the most out of the book.
The only thing that detracted from the book was the tone of the reader. The reader was monotone and dry. The information was valuable enough so it wasn't to hard to get past that and listen.
"Does not follow the book"
I downloaded the audible to listen along whilst reading the book. The audible misses huge sections out and is therefore too brief. Dissappointed overall.
"not very pleaseant voice"
the book was good, but it was very difficult to listen to the voice of the author.
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