For those of you listening who are parents, know parents, or have had parents, the notion that the greatest thing you can do for your children is to learn to focus on yourself may sound strange, even heretical. It's not. Here's why: we are the only ones we can control. This practical, effective guide for parents of all ages with kids of all ages introduces proven principles for overcoming the anxieties and stresses of parenting and setting new patterns of connection and cooperation. Told in an engaging, conversational tone, this audiobook is sensible, straightforward, and based on the experiences of hundreds of actual families. It will help all parents become calming authorities in their homes, bring peace to their families today, and give kids what they need to grow into caring, self-directed adults tomorrow.
©2007 ScreamFree Omnimedia, LLC; (P)2007 Random House, Inc. Random House Audio, a division of Random House, Inc.
Surprisingly it's NOT just about your children but about you ! I have just finished the book and can already see the results from putting some of the suggestions into practise. I have found reward in NOT following the aggressive approach my farther adopted on me as child. Thank you, this is priceless.
This book got better in the later chapters when there was practical tips for how to set limits, but "scream free" is disingenuous, because there will still be plenty of screaming on your kids side of the coin. Overall I thought there were points that were helpful, but was often annoyed by the author/narrator, and felt like the first third of the book was just a waste of time that kept getting me upset. I didn't need to be convinced, I needed to get to the meat of the book. What was missing completely was an honest dialogue about kids putting themselves in true danger and how to deal with when they don't listen and preventing them from doing things that could cause them permanent physical harm (like running out into the street or playing with the stove, undoing the latch on a swimming pool when they've been told to stay away, climbing to shelves and cupboards high up where dangerous items are stored). I'm not trying to "force my will" on my kids at these junctures, simply trying to keep them and other family members alive. When your kid refuses to listen to reason and still runs away from you and into the street - yes there will be consequences (like not being allowed go out anymore), but in that instant, I need to do what I need to do to get the 4 year olds attention and hope/pray he doesn't get himself killed. Runkel never addresses those tough issues, and quite frankly, I'm still looking for answers on that one.
I love books. And chocolate.
The message is simple, but powerful. And truly effective when engaging your children by being "calm and connected." There are many valuable takeaways from this audiobook. I have so far listened to it twice, and I have changed my interactions with my kids. I recommend this book for any parent searching for ways to decrease drama and increase peace.
I liked how personable he sounded as he read his work. It was like listening to a friend talk and offer very valuable advice.
Patterns are just patterns ... and you can change the pattern. If you change it, then everyone else engaged in the pattern will have change, too.
Staying calm and focusing on myself has changed how I parent and has also given me a new overall perspective.
I have a background in education, and have also spent time reading and researching a number or parenting philosophies. The truth is, most of the successful and lasting parenting books teach many of the same principles. Scream Free Parenting keeps with many of the most best practices and drives home what I've said for years. It's about the parent, and how we must deal with ourselves. The presentation is good, easy to hear. Along with Covey, Leman, and the Love & Logic programs, this should be at the top any parents reading list.
I think a lot of self help books are reminders of things we may already know inheritantly. This is no exception. It gently reminds us of the ways we can better deal with our children and provides good insights into why this works. I will continue to listen to it until I can make all the author's suggestions habits because I can already see improvements.
This is the first parenting book I've ever read, I thought it was well written, amusing and included some sensible tips.
This book won't change your world, however if you occasionally need reminding of some common sense tips it is worth listening to; as in the everyday struggle to do a good job we can sometimes forget some fairly basic things.
Good insights, funny and sensible stories. No promises, just plain reality. Shows a clear path to be a better parent.
And his voice is wonderful.
OK if you have a difficult kid of any age, a drama king or queen adolescent that is just slightly or totally out of control then this IS the book you need!!! It teaches some new concepts I will not lie but you will be surprised at just how well they work. On my honor if you use what is in this book you can and will become a stress free, scream free, totally relaxed and cooooooool parent!!!!! This makes parenting oh so easy and fun too!
I have to love these experts who have never turned out a product. His kids are little and could just as well be headed for rehab like other parenting experts. Yes you may control them when they are little but they are smart little critters and the techniques taught here seem to just teach kids how to manipulate adults a bit more.
Of course we need to be in control when we deal with our kids but frankly this is life and I might be the only imperfect parent left.
Maybe kids need to know they can make us loose it now and then and the results aren't pretty.
I am a college teacher and understand that this type of "let them have their space" parenting is raising kids who think everything is negotiable ("Milleneals Rising" Neil Howe, 2000).
Some of you psych majors better start looking at what made the Greatest Generation and teach us how to put some of that into our kids.
The material and themes when presented often smack of obvious, apparent to overly simplified, but the true test and revolutionary nature is in the application. If is too easy and appealing to continue disfunctional behaiviours, and requires serious resolve to commit to a healthier pattern for yourself and your family.
I give it 5 stars, not because it is brilliant, quite frankly, I too often shrugged and felt like 'I know that already', but Hal's continued insistence throughout the book to pause and reflect on the material is trully reflective of what we need to do in practice: pause & reflect on our CHOSEN actions & patterns. I believe it is a book that gets more complex, demanding and 'revolutionary' with each subsequent listen and to this end the relatively short audio is also brilliant & too the point, inviting us to pause, reflect and revisit the entire audio to 'practice' again and again until we can reach our own breakthroughs and revolutions.
Though the book may seem to be a stern 'time out' to all parents, at it's heart it is a gift to every parent, asking them to be the best version of themselves, so they can be the best parent toward their children and family.
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