Based on the latest research on brain development and extensive clinical experience with parents, Dr. Laura Markham's approach is as simple as it is effective. Her message: Fostering emotional connection with your child creates real and lasting change. When you have that vital connection, you don't need to threaten, nag, plead, bribe - or even punish.
This remarkable guide will help parents better understand their own emotions - and get them in check - so they can parent with healthy limits, empathy, and clear communication to raise a self-disciplined child. Step-by-step examples give solutions and kid-tested phrasing for parents of toddlers right through the elementary years.
If you're tired of power struggles, tantrums, and searching for the right "consequence", look no further. You're about to discover the practical tools you need to transform your parenting in a positive, proven way.
©2012 Laura Markham, Ph.D. (P)2013 Tantor
This is simply the most practical and helpful parenting book I've listened to so far. P.E.T and How to Talk So Kids Will Listen... are great, but this one is now my favourite by far.
It had really and truly helped me understand and connect better with my kids and to reduce the level of discord I was unintentionally generating. I am currently listening to it a second time.
The narration is perfect, and I don't use that term lightly.
I HIGHLY recommend this audio book.
Absolutely. I've encouraged my wife to start giving it out to friends at baby showers. This book was one of those paradigm shifting "aha" books for me as a father.
I thought I was a pretty good parent before reading this book, but still had a few questions and knew there were area's I could improve in. My kids are 6, 4, 2, 0... I wish I could have found this book before I started parenting, it has completely changed my outlook on parenting and connecting with my kids.
I had heard about a "no discipline" approach and thought it absolutely absurd. I'm a fairly strict father and hold my children to extremely high standards. We have timeouts, consequences (that my wife and I make up). I'm converted this is not the way to parent your children and that the strategies presented by Dr. Laura Markham work. I've seen vast improvement in my children's behavior.
I was brought up in a strict home and was consequently taught to be a strict parent. I think most parents are that way. But there is a better and easier way to teach our children to become happy, healthy, and responsible adults. It's all about connection, and I didn't realize the how much I was hurting the connection I had with my kids.
READ THIS BOOK!
This book completely changed the way I see and interact with my kids. I was getting nowhere with discipline and rewards. Not only do I now understand why this doesn't work, I have the incentive to try an empathic approach. I have seen a huge difference in my ability to de-escalate tantrums, foster cooperation, and create the foundation for happy/secure kid already...just in the first week of implementing these techniques. Plus I feel so much better about myself as a competent parent when I really put everything aside to fully connect/engage with my kids. I know it works because my kids are visibly flourishing, and it feels so much better in my gut to parent this way. It's what I would have been doing all along if I'd only known how!
Should be required reading. I think I'll start gifting this at baby showers from now on!
My husband and I are first time parents of an almost two-year old with #2 on the way later this year. We have wanted to parent peacefully but like many others are sometimes challenged by the practical things that get in the way of that: time, competing priorities, balancing two full time jobs with parenting and household responsibilities when we get home. This book is full of very helpful and practical tips for scripting during challenging moments that can help us keep the peace and harmony in our home that all of us want. Thank you to Dr Markham for writing this book.
I am a social worker and I buy books that will help me help others.
There are several books on this topic and I'm not sure if this is the best, but it's the best one I've found so far. I am a social worker and part of my job is helping parents with their discipline methods. This book explains the topic clearly and the narration is excellent. The message is to change your own behavior to teach your child to behave. I completely agree with the author that the parent's emotional intelligence is extremely important. If you want to predict what kind of adult your child will be you only need to look inside yourself. He/She will most likely have all of your strengths and weaknesses. If you are prone to adult temper tantrums, then your child will copy you. If you are in control of your emotions and remain calm, your child will begin to copy that as well. It won't happen overnight mainly because the parent is going to mess it up and won't be able to maintain calm. The child will increase their testing behavior when the old methods stop working, but if the parent can truly change then the child will follow.
The Thoughtful Leader
finished it in a hurry, because I know I've been doing it all wrong for so long... but I'm glad I caught myself and still have time to repair and restore what's necessary in my kids psyche.
United States Navy - Proudly Serving
I learned a lot from this book on parenting. Glad I found it now when my kids are still young (2 and 4). As I was listening to the book, I started applying the lessons taught and almost immediately, I saw the difference and changes in my kids behaviors (positively). Thank you for a wonderful book.
One of the best parenting coaches out there. Great for parents looking for a new and more effective/peaceful way to parent.
At times I felt it would have been helpful to also have the book, so I could understand what was a list, what was a sub list of a list etc. you need visuals for that.
But overall a keeper!!!
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