Based on the latest research on brain development and extensive clinical experience with parents, Dr. Laura Markham's approach is as simple as it is effective. Her message: Fostering emotional connection with your child creates real and lasting change. When you have that vital connection, you don't need to threaten, nag, plead, bribe - or even punish.
This remarkable guide will help parents better understand their own emotions - and get them in check - so they can parent with healthy limits, empathy, and clear communication to raise a self-disciplined child. Step-by-step examples give solutions and kid-tested phrasing for parents of toddlers right through the elementary years.
If you're tired of power struggles, tantrums, and searching for the right "consequence", look no further. You're about to discover the practical tools you need to transform your parenting in a positive, proven way.
©2012 Laura Markham, Ph.D. (P)2013 Tantor
Absolutely. I've encouraged my wife to start giving it out to friends at baby showers. This book was one of those paradigm shifting "aha" books for me as a father.
I thought I was a pretty good parent before reading this book, but still had a few questions and knew there were area's I could improve in. My kids are 6, 4, 2, 0... I wish I could have found this book before I started parenting, it has completely changed my outlook on parenting and connecting with my kids.
I had heard about a "no discipline" approach and thought it absolutely absurd. I'm a fairly strict father and hold my children to extremely high standards. We have timeouts, consequences (that my wife and I make up). I'm converted this is not the way to parent your children and that the strategies presented by Dr. Laura Markham work. I've seen vast improvement in my children's behavior.
I was brought up in a strict home and was consequently taught to be a strict parent. I think most parents are that way. But there is a better and easier way to teach our children to become happy, healthy, and responsible adults. It's all about connection, and I didn't realize the how much I was hurting the connection I had with my kids.
READ THIS BOOK!
This is simply the most practical and helpful parenting book I've listened to so far. P.E.T and How to Talk So Kids Will Listen... are great, but this one is now my favourite by far.
It had really and truly helped me understand and connect better with my kids and to reduce the level of discord I was unintentionally generating. I am currently listening to it a second time.
The narration is perfect, and I don't use that term lightly.
I HIGHLY recommend this audio book.
This book completely changed the way I see and interact with my kids. I was getting nowhere with discipline and rewards. Not only do I now understand why this doesn't work, I have the incentive to try an empathic approach. I have seen a huge difference in my ability to de-escalate tantrums, foster cooperation, and create the foundation for happy/secure kid already...just in the first week of implementing these techniques. Plus I feel so much better about myself as a competent parent when I really put everything aside to fully connect/engage with my kids. I know it works because my kids are visibly flourishing, and it feels so much better in my gut to parent this way. It's what I would have been doing all along if I'd only known how!
Should be required reading. I think I'll start gifting this at baby showers from now on!
I felt like the book was very repetitive. Also, there was some advice that seemed it would definitely have a detrimental effect. For instance she recommends turning it into a game when a kid throws food on the floor. I'm pretty sure they're likely to repeat it if it's fun.
I am a social worker and I buy books that will help me help others.
There are several books on this topic and I'm not sure if this is the best, but it's the best one I've found so far. I am a social worker and part of my job is helping parents with their discipline methods. This book explains the topic clearly and the narration is excellent. The message is to change your own behavior to teach your child to behave. I completely agree with the author that the parent's emotional intelligence is extremely important. If you want to predict what kind of adult your child will be you only need to look inside yourself. He/She will most likely have all of your strengths and weaknesses. If you are prone to adult temper tantrums, then your child will copy you. If you are in control of your emotions and remain calm, your child will begin to copy that as well. It won't happen overnight mainly because the parent is going to mess it up and won't be able to maintain calm. The child will increase their testing behavior when the old methods stop working, but if the parent can truly change then the child will follow.
I don't have a lot of time to read and I never would have thought this sissy Lala kind of stuff would be so important improving my life and my sons life
Extremely condescending in nature and narration. Unless you enjoy being spoken down to, save your money and your time. 'Discipline' is a no-go in this book, making this book a complete no-go for me. As a parent of 4 young children, I'm interested in love and logic techniques to raise responsible adults..not hearing someone speak down to me while using every scientific term and vocabulary word she has learned throughout her education.
I read and applied the concepts in the book. I'm happy to say it really made a difference in the relationship with our child and our overall happiness. The "choose love" principle may seem corny but it really is true. Once you start doing it you will understand why.
This was an INCREDIBLE parenting book. I would happily read this again and again in order to fully appreciate all the advice Laura Markham gives in parenting peacefully. Everything she teaches is based on unconditional love and being your child's greatest ally. Truly an amazing read.
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