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I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Telling the Truth about Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power | [Brené Brown]

I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Telling the Truth about Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power

Based on seven years of ground-breaking research and hundreds of interviews, I Thought It Was Just Me shines a long-overdue light on an important truth: Our imperfections are what connect us to each other and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we're all in this together.
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Publisher's Summary

The quest for perfection is exhausting and unrelenting. We spend too much precious time and energy managing perception and creating carefully edited versions of ourselves to show to the world. As hard as we try, we can't seem to turn off the tapes that fill our heads with messages like, Never good enough! and What will people think?

Why? What fuels this unattainable need to look like we always have it all together? At first glance, we might think its because we admire perfection, but that's not the case. We are actually the most attracted to people we consider to be authentic and down-to-earth. We love people who are real; we're drawn to those who both embrace their imperfections and radiate self-acceptance.

There is a constant barrage of social expectations that teach us that being imperfect is synonymous with being inadequate. Everywhere we turn, there are messages that tell us who, what, and how were supposed to be. So, we learn to hide our struggles and protect ourselves from shame, judgment, criticism, and blame by seeking safety in pretending and perfection.

Based on seven years of ground-breaking research and hundreds of interviews, I Thought It Was Just Me shines a long-overdue light on an important truth: Our imperfections are what connect us to each other and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we're all in this together.

As Dr. Brown writes, "We need our lives back. It's time to reclaim the gifts of imperfection - the courage to be real, the compassion we need to love ourselves and others, and the connection that gives true purpose and meaning to life. These are the gifts that bring love, laughter, gratitude, empathy and joy into our lives."

©2007 Brené Brown (P)2010 Audible, Inc.

What the Critics Say

"Brené Brown’s ability to explore shame and resilience with humor, vulnerability and honesty is both uplifting and liberating. If we want to change our lives, our relationships or even the world, we must start by understanding and overcoming the shame that keeps us silent. This important and hopeful book offers a bold new perspective on the power of telling our stories." (Professor Jody Williams, 1997 Nobel Peace Prize Recipient; Campaign Ambassador, International Campaign to Ban Landmines)

"Grounded in exceptional scholarship and filled with inspiring stories, this is one of those rare books that has the potential to turn lives around." (Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger)

"I Thought It Was Just Me can be a doorway to freedom and self-esteem for many, many readers. (Martha Beck, Ph.D., columnist, O, The Oprah Magazine, and author of Finding Your Own North Star)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

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  •  
    Bart Dallas, Texas 02-27-15
    Bart Dallas, Texas 02-27-15 Member Since 2015
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    "AMAZING Treatise on Shame !!!!!"

    Brene's work has revolutionized my life!! 35-40 years in personal growth (along with a degree in Psychology), and so much now makes sense!! This was a major, missing, foundational piece. Thanks, Brene'!!!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    C. Rodowsky colorado 02-26-15
    C. Rodowsky colorado 02-26-15 Member Since 2013
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    "Not sure I recommend"

    At first I thought "I am not going to shame this narrator" although the narrator did make it kind of hard to get through the book. I did listen to The Power of Vulnerability narrated by Brene and her energy is different and she expresses the points in a way that is easier to absorb. I found this narrator sort of monotone. I listened to the whole book although I am not sure I gain much from it. There were times I was bored with the content and my mind easily drifted. Sorry narrator...

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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    Tina Nibley, UT, United States 02-24-15
    Tina Nibley, UT, United States 02-24-15 Member Since 2013

    I'm a mom. I have drama in my life. I don't want books with the F-bomb, nor graphic violence. I read for fun and to bring my family together. I read for reducing stress levels. We have never had a television in our home and our children are now mid twenties to 19. We listen together and look for belly-wrenching laughter. So what is it like to live without a TV? Awesomely educational and inspirational. Each new book is a marvel.

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    "The last book"
    Any additional comments?

    I have a friend who is always saying he is looking for his last book, meaning something so good and powerful that searching for another perspective is not worth the time. I suggested I have found the last author, but not the last book. Brene Brown is moving, enlightening and so real. I have re-read her books several times. I feel like I was swallowed up as a broken soul and soothed until I could stand on my feet again. I'm not alone, I'm not perfect, I'm just me. I learned that practicing what I believe means loving myself and those around me for who they are, not what they are. Practicing each day means making my life fulfilling and happy. Practicing the art of loving without constraint, without parameters, without any restriction at all is what I want in my life. WOW! Incredible author.

    I started with The Gifts of Imperfection. I listened 3 times (in a row no less!) and I have given away 20 copies of the book.

    I suggest that if you are looking for your last good book then you have found your last author instead.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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    Jeff Barney United States 02-23-15
    Jeff Barney United States 02-23-15 Member Since 2012
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    "Amazing"

    This book has changed my life! I recommend it to everyone! It has helped me love myself and have greater self esteem.




    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Book Lover 02-11-15
    Book Lover 02-11-15

    Book Lover

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    "Help you feel Normal"

    This was great to learn how to deal with shame and fear. A must read for everyone particularly parents and teachers.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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    Chickers65 02-10-15
    Chickers65 02-10-15 Member Since 2014
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    "A must read."

    I loved this book. It has completely changed my relationships with my family and how I view myself. It is life changing. Read it!!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Justine 01-28-15
    Justine 01-28-15 Member Since 2015
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    "Would have liked a different voice"

    For a self-help book that touches on deep, important topics, the voice of the reader is a bit like a robot. But once I got past that I was able to settle in and really listen. If recommend the book to anyone who lives with or thinks they might live with shame. I found it very informative.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Meghan De Beque, CO, United States 01-11-15
    Meghan De Beque, CO, United States 01-11-15 Member Since 2013
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    "Wonderful material"

    The material in the book was wonderful and really makes you rethink how you've been viewing yourself and your life. The narrator made it difficult to tell if it was another person's story or the author's first person story because she didn't change her inflection or tone when switching back and forth.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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    Jolie Belle 01-08-15
    Jolie Belle 01-08-15 Member Since 2014
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    "Realistic advices"

    I enjoyed listening to this book. It portrays the reality of women and shame to the point that at times it was hard for me to listen. I experienced sadness recognizing how much I live in shame and how I also shame others. The shame resilient model is easy to understand and her examples of how it works in real life scenarios were very helpful and useful. I highly recommend this book to men and women of all ages!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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    L. Ciocia New York, NY 12-01-14
    L. Ciocia New York, NY 12-01-14 Member Since 2013
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    "Great insights if..."
    Would you consider the audio edition of I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t) to be better than the print version?

    ...you can get past the narrator. For some reason I found it painful to listen to.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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