The quest for perfection is exhausting and unrelenting. We spend too much precious time and energy managing perception and creating carefully edited versions of ourselves to show to the world. As hard as we try, we can't seem to turn off the tapes that fill our heads with messages like, Never good enough! and What will people think?
Why? What fuels this unattainable need to look like we always have it all together? At first glance, we might think its because we admire perfection, but that's not the case. We are actually the most attracted to people we consider to be authentic and down-to-earth. We love people who are real; we're drawn to those who both embrace their imperfections and radiate self-acceptance.
There is a constant barrage of social expectations that teach us that being imperfect is synonymous with being inadequate. Everywhere we turn, there are messages that tell us who, what, and how were supposed to be. So, we learn to hide our struggles and protect ourselves from shame, judgment, criticism, and blame by seeking safety in pretending and perfection.
Based on seven years of ground-breaking research and hundreds of interviews, I Thought It Was Just Me shines a long-overdue light on an important truth: Our imperfections are what connect us to each other and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we're all in this together.
As Dr. Brown writes, "We need our lives back. It's time to reclaim the gifts of imperfection - the courage to be real, the compassion we need to love ourselves and others, and the connection that gives true purpose and meaning to life. These are the gifts that bring love, laughter, gratitude, empathy and joy into our lives."
©2007 Brené Brown (P)2010 Audible, Inc.
"Brené Brown’s ability to explore shame and resilience with humor, vulnerability and honesty is both uplifting and liberating. If we want to change our lives, our relationships or even the world, we must start by understanding and overcoming the shame that keeps us silent. This important and hopeful book offers a bold new perspective on the power of telling our stories." (Professor Jody Williams, 1997 Nobel Peace Prize Recipient; Campaign Ambassador, International Campaign to Ban Landmines)
"Grounded in exceptional scholarship and filled with inspiring stories, this is one of those rare books that has the potential to turn lives around." (Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger)
"I Thought It Was Just Me can be a doorway to freedom and self-esteem for many, many readers. (Martha Beck, Ph.D., columnist, O, The Oprah Magazine, and author of Finding Your Own North Star)
The material in the book was wonderful and really makes you rethink how you've been viewing yourself and your life. The narrator made it difficult to tell if it was another person's story or the author's first person story because she didn't change her inflection or tone when switching back and forth.
I enjoyed listening to this book. It portrays the reality of women and shame to the point that at times it was hard for me to listen. I experienced sadness recognizing how much I live in shame and how I also shame others. The shame resilient model is easy to understand and her examples of how it works in real life scenarios were very helpful and useful. I highly recommend this book to men and women of all ages!
...you can get past the narrator. For some reason I found it painful to listen to.
Top 10 of all books I've read.
Honestly, I cannot stand her dry, monotone voice.
Brene' has such a wonderful delivery in her talks/discussions. It makes it hard for others to even approach her ability to "capture" the audience.
I love Brene Brown, I totally admire her books, her talks, her ideas. And I was very eager to listen to this particular book on shame.
Unfortunately I was a little bit disappointed. Probably because the first book I read of B.Brown was her latest book on vulnerability that totally blew my mind. This book in contrast didn't impress much.
It's really good from the standpoint that it clearly contains lots of research conclusions and observations but on another side 80% of the book contains only these examples. I don't mind examples in general but in moderation. There were some new and useful ideas for me but I had a desire to constantly skip the real life stories since a lot of them were repetitive and didn't relate to me much.
I also think that for some this book might be very insightful.
Stories of other women who experience shame very interesting.
The connections made in this book interesting and relevant to my career.
She has created a story out of her research that keeps the listener engaged.
Read this book for a qualitative research class...I couldn't put it down.
Good narration, very detailed research
This book is about SHAME and women's stories. I dont remember hearing the author use the word perfectionism. I forced myselft to get to chapter 4, but I just "did not get it". Good analysis, but failed to provide recommendations for improvements (or I just missed them in all the analysis and examples)
I struggled with a situation that for years I couldn't figure out what was happening. This book gave me the knowledge to understand the situation. Shame can be such a subtle thing especially when you feel like the person/people are well intended. If you have ever walked away from conversations not knowing why you feel like crap after talking to certain people then this book my help you. Also if you struggle with perfectionism then this book might help you get to the root of it.
When she explained the difference between empathy and sympathy.
I think I will practice more empathy with others. I'm better able to spot shame even if it's subtle.
Because I really did think it was just me but it really isn't
She's a great narrator. Brings richness to the words.
A lot of things but I definately laughed hard at one of Brene's shame stories about being the "perfect" working, stay-home mom.
I have to read everything by Brown. This is changing my life for the better.
Not at all, in fact, I didn't even finish listening to this one
The book I am listening to simply labelled "Just Listen" a whole lot more value than this book
Elanor Rooservelt comment still prevails "No one make you feel inferior without your consent" You have to have a thought, about something before you can have an emotion to it, which is in direct opposition to Brene's thoughts.
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