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I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Telling the Truth about Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power | [Brené Brown]

I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Telling the Truth about Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power

Based on seven years of ground-breaking research and hundreds of interviews, I Thought It Was Just Me shines a long-overdue light on an important truth: Our imperfections are what connect us to each other and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we're all in this together.
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Publisher's Summary

The quest for perfection is exhausting and unrelenting. We spend too much precious time and energy managing perception and creating carefully edited versions of ourselves to show to the world. As hard as we try, we can't seem to turn off the tapes that fill our heads with messages like, Never good enough! and What will people think?

Why? What fuels this unattainable need to look like we always have it all together? At first glance, we might think its because we admire perfection, but that's not the case. We are actually the most attracted to people we consider to be authentic and down-to-earth. We love people who are real; we're drawn to those who both embrace their imperfections and radiate self-acceptance.

There is a constant barrage of social expectations that teach us that being imperfect is synonymous with being inadequate. Everywhere we turn, there are messages that tell us who, what, and how were supposed to be. So, we learn to hide our struggles and protect ourselves from shame, judgment, criticism, and blame by seeking safety in pretending and perfection.

Based on seven years of ground-breaking research and hundreds of interviews, I Thought It Was Just Me shines a long-overdue light on an important truth: Our imperfections are what connect us to each other and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we're all in this together.

As Dr. Brown writes, "We need our lives back. It's time to reclaim the gifts of imperfection - the courage to be real, the compassion we need to love ourselves and others, and the connection that gives true purpose and meaning to life. These are the gifts that bring love, laughter, gratitude, empathy and joy into our lives."

©2007 Brené Brown (P)2010 Audible, Inc.

What the Critics Say

"Brené Brown’s ability to explore shame and resilience with humor, vulnerability and honesty is both uplifting and liberating. If we want to change our lives, our relationships or even the world, we must start by understanding and overcoming the shame that keeps us silent. This important and hopeful book offers a bold new perspective on the power of telling our stories." (Professor Jody Williams, 1997 Nobel Peace Prize Recipient; Campaign Ambassador, International Campaign to Ban Landmines)

"Grounded in exceptional scholarship and filled with inspiring stories, this is one of those rare books that has the potential to turn lives around." (Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger)

"I Thought It Was Just Me can be a doorway to freedom and self-esteem for many, many readers. (Martha Beck, Ph.D., columnist, O, The Oprah Magazine, and author of Finding Your Own North Star)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.2 (612 )
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4.1 (469 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Sonya 08-24-15
    Sonya 08-24-15
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    "Life changing"

    I was on a negative tailspin in my life. When I thought I couldn't amount to anything and I doubted so much about myself, this book pulled me from the depths of my darkness. What an amazing gift you've brought to women who feel shame and them blame themselves for feeling it. This book and it's research is so inspiring that a friend and I are starting a Women book club focusing on confidence and empowerment. This book and "The gifts of inperfections" are the first two we'll be reading. I cannot say enough good things! Thank you.

    Lauren Fortgang is also one of the best narrators I've heard yet on audible, what a great job!!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Alshana 07-30-15
    Alshana 07-30-15 Member Since 2015
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    "valid points worth reading"

    it took me awhile to finish mostly because there were so many good points and areas of revelation that I had to go back and re-listen to make sure I was internalizing the info correctly.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    S. Kornweibel Seattle, WA 07-24-15
    S. Kornweibel Seattle, WA 07-24-15 Member Since 2015

    Tanzerin

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    "A transformative journey through ordinary encourage, connection, compassion, shame and resilience"

    This book was transformative for me personally, professionally, and in my parenting. I am so grateful to Brene Brown for her research, writing, storytelling and perspective. I will be sharing this book with my friends and family for many years to come.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    RoquesAnn Evans 07-11-15 Member Since 2015
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    "She is wonderful"

    I'm sure it's partially to do with my time of life and experiences but her words have been life altering for me.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Lola B. Riverside, CA 06-10-15
    Lola B. Riverside, CA 06-10-15 Member Since 2015
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    "I'll listen to this one again for sure"
    Would you listen to I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t) again? Why?

    This book has helped me identify what I've been feeling for so long. I need to listen again to get all the details that I might have missed.


    What other book might you compare I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t) to and why?

    I haven't listened to or read any other books like this.


    Have you listened to any of Lauren Fortgang’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

    Her voice does sound familiar. I think she did a pretty good job. I'm not sure why there's so much hate for this narrators voice. I guess I focused more on the content. I've heard some bad narrators and she just didn't make it on the list for me.


    What did you learn from I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t) that you would use in your daily life?

    I learned that most people have similar feelings. For a while I did think it was just me.


    Any additional comments?

    I would have enjoyed some additional strategies to resolve the shame issues I have other than talking about it. Maybe I missed something. I really thought it was a great book and I do plan on listening and reading it again because it had some really useful information and at times actually had me laughing and relating to the stories. There is a lot of talk about children and being married. I can only relate to the latter. Despite this, I felt like I learned valuable lessons. I'm really glad I added this book to my collection.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Holly M. Dragoo 05-31-15 Member Since 2015
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    "Not self-help so much as a public commentary"

    Great effort to start a public dialogue on shame. Differentiating between shame, guilt, and embarrassment is sometimes very hard, but the author shares anecdotes and solid research to tease out the differences. Highly recommend this book to both genders, but particularly to women as it addresses many of the facets of "good enough" we are expected to live up to (motherhood, beauty, career, ethnic community expectations). Some of the interviews are hysterical and instantly relatable, others are more unique and will provide you with sensitivity to situations we don't fully understand.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Allison 05-26-15
    Allison 05-26-15 Member Since 2015
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    "Good narrator compared to most"

    The narrator for this book is less dramatic sounding than all other narrators. Makes it a lot easier to listen to, but, wish it would've been narrated by the actual author. It's way easier to follow coming from the person who wrote it.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    2RBLE OKC, OK 04-24-15
    2RBLE OKC, OK 04-24-15 Member Since 2015

    NOPA2065

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    "very informative and enlightening!"

    love it! looking forward to the study involving shame in males! I recommend this book!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    WildJem 03-26-15
    WildJem 03-26-15
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    "Grow Grow Grow"

    Another great book to read to develop the skill of living in this world to the best of our ability.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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    Maidena Young Westville, IN, US 03-06-15
    Maidena Young Westville, IN, US 03-06-15 Member Since 2015
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    "A great exposé of shame!"

    Yes, I thought it was just me! Thank you, Brené Brown, for making me see how normal I am! Should be required reading for the world!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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