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I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)
- Telling the Truth about Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
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Publisher's summary
The quest for perfection is exhausting and unrelenting. We spend too much precious time and energy managing perception and creating carefully edited versions of ourselves to show to the world. As hard as we try, we can't seem to turn off the tapes that fill our heads with messages like, Never good enough! and What will people think?
Why? What fuels this unattainable need to look like we always have it all together? At first glance, we might think its because we admire perfection, but that's not the case. We are actually the most attracted to people we consider to be authentic and down-to-earth. We love people who are real; we're drawn to those who both embrace their imperfections and radiate self-acceptance.
There is a constant barrage of social expectations that teach us that being imperfect is synonymous with being inadequate. Everywhere we turn, there are messages that tell us who, what, and how were supposed to be. So, we learn to hide our struggles and protect ourselves from shame, judgment, criticism, and blame by seeking safety in pretending and perfection.
Based on seven years of ground-breaking research and hundreds of interviews, I Thought It Was Just Me shines a long-overdue light on an important truth: Our imperfections are what connect us to each other and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we're all in this together.
As Dr. Brown writes, "We need our lives back. It's time to reclaim the gifts of imperfection - the courage to be real, the compassion we need to love ourselves and others, and the connection that gives true purpose and meaning to life. These are the gifts that bring love, laughter, gratitude, empathy and joy into our lives."
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
Critic reviews
Featured Article: The Best Audiobooks to Listen to While Walking
Whether you walk for your health, a form of transportation, or to exercise a pet, you can get some mental mileage with your steps when you take a great audiobook along. These listens make the perfect walking companions. They can teach you about any topic that catches your fancy, or transport you to ancient and fantastical worlds. Whether you're on a treadmill, touring the neighborhood, or going to work, these are the best audiobooks for walking.
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It's not a surprise that our fast-paced, overly analytical culture is pushing people - especially women - to spend countless hours thinking about negative ideas, feelings, and experiences. Renowned psychologist Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema calls this "overthinking". Her groundbreaking research shows that an increasing number of women - more than half of those in her extensive study - are doing it too much and too often, hindering their ability to lead a satisfying life.
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Generic tools for overcoming overthinking
- By letlet on 01-09-19
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The Grown-Up's Guide to Teenage Humans
- How to Decode Their Behavior, Develop Unshakable Trust, and Raise a Respectable Adult
- By: Josh Shipp
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
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Written in Shipp's playfully authoritative, no-nonsense voice, The Grown-Up's Guide to Teenage Humans tells his story and unpacks practical strategies that can make a difference. Ultimately, it's not about shortcuts or magic words - as Shipp reminds us, it's about investing in kids and giving them the love, time, and support they need to thrive. And that means every kid is one caring adult away from being a success story.
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Read it....then read it again!
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By: Josh Shipp
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The Undervalued Self
- By: Elaine N. Aron
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
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Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
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By: Elaine N. Aron
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Super You
- Release Your Inner Superhero
- By: Emily Gordon
- Narrated by: Emily Gordon
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Superheroes don't start from glorious beginnings. Their origins are almost always marked by traumatic events that leave them helpless and scared. Batman witnessed his parents' murder. Superman was sent away from his dying planet with no one to guide him as he grew up. Orphaned Catwoman was forced to steal food to survive on the streets of Gotham. What makes these superheroes super is their determination to not be defined by helplessness. They embrace their origins, their flaws, and their mistakes and strive every day to become the best versions of themselves.
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A wonderful book filled with empathy and humanity.
- By Vincent on 10-06-15
By: Emily Gordon
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Relationship Breakthrough
- How to Create Outstanding Relationships in Every Area of Your Life
- By: Cloe Madanes, Anthony Robbins
- Narrated by: Aimee Jolson
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
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Everyone faces the challenges of making relationships work. Whether with spouses, family members, friends, lovers, or colleagues, relationships have the power to make one feel happy, frustrated, or miserable. In Relationship Breakthrough, Cloe Madanes - an expert in creating healing, empowering relationships - gives listeners vital tools to transform their relationships and their lives. Madanes's cutting-edge methods produce real results and create rewarding, sustainable relationships.
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Disappointed
- By Dee on 01-10-16
By: Cloe Madanes, and others
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Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That?
- Encouragement for Women Involved with Angry and Controlling Men
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Gary Galone
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
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Like a constant friend, this collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It helps you to digest what is happening a piece at a time, so you can gain clarity, safety, and freedom.
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Just what I needed.
- By lori Goodson on 11-07-15
By: Lundy Bancroft
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When Your Kid Is Hurting
- Helping Your Child Through the Tough Days
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Jon Gauger
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Children today live in an unpredictable, disruptive, and often violent world. Many of them live in two different homes with different sets of expectations. They face bullying at school and online. They hear news of school shootings, and racially or religiously motivated violence. They may have lost a friend or a loved one. As parents, the impulse to protect our children is strong, but that very protection can end up handicapping them for life. Rather than seek to save them from the hard things, parents must teach their kids how to cope with and rise above their problems.
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So helpful for so many situations
- By Natalie on 10-03-18
By: Kevin Leman
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Toxic Parents
- Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
- By: Craig Buck, Susan Forward
- Narrated by: Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
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In this remarkable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the real-life voices of adult children of toxic parents to help you free yourself from the frustrating patterns of your relationship with your parents---and discover a new world of self-confidence, inner strength, and emotional independence.
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Its worth a listen.
- By Amanda on 08-20-12
By: Craig Buck, and others
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Bringing Up Girls
- Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation of Women
- By: James C. Dobson
- Narrated by: James C. Dobson
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
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Based on extensive research, and handled with Dr. Dobson's trademark down-to-earth approach, Bringing Up Girls will equip parents like you to face the challenges of raising your daughters to become healthy, happy, and successful women who overcome challenges specific to girls and women today and who ultimately excel in life.
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Solid concepts, poor presentation
- By honuhunter on 12-06-18
By: James C. Dobson
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The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?
- A Woman's Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go
- By: Patricia Evans
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
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Coupling stories of abused women and abusive men from her own case studies, Patricia Evans here gives you the tools you need to transform your relationship. Most important, she assures you that such a transformation is possible—given the right circumstances. Evans also helps you determine if your abuser really has changed—or if he’s merely creating the illusion of change. And if he hasn’t changed, Evans helps you decide whether it’s time to leave the relationship—and what to do when it is.
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A gift to the emotionally violated
- By curious23m on 08-16-15
By: Patricia Evans
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When Friendship Hurts
- How to Deal with Friends Who Betray, Abandon, or Wound You
- By: Jan Yager Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
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Overall
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We’ve all had friendships that have gone bad. Whether it takes the form of a simple yet inexplicable estrangement or a devastating betrayal, a failed friendship can make your life miserable, threaten your success at work or school, and even undermine your romantic relationships. Finally there is help. In When Friendship Hurts, Jan Yager, recognized internationally as a leading expert on friendship, explores what causes friendships to falter and explains how to mend them - or end them.
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Good Book
- By Qalb-e-Saleem on 12-11-12
By: Jan Yager Ph.D.
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Strong Mothers, Strong Sons
- Lessons Mothers Need to Raise Extraordinary Men
- By: Meg Meeker
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 12 hrs and 53 mins
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From the moment a mother holds her newborn son, his eyes tell her that she is his world. But often, as he grows up, the boy who needs her simultaneously pushes her away. Calling upon thirty years of experience as a pediatrician, Meg Meeker, MD, a highly sought-after national speaker, assistant professor of clinical medicine, and mother of four, shares the secrets that every mother needs to know in order to strengthen-or rebuild-her relationship with her son.
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Update of wording in your book is required
- By danamc on 08-27-18
By: Meg Meeker
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The Curse of the Good Girl
- Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence
- By: Rachel Simmons
- Narrated by: Christina Moore
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
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Rachel Simmons is a New York Times best-selling author and the founding director of the Girls' Leadership Institute. The Curse of the Good Girl looks into the phenomenon of the glass ceiling placed on girls who attempt to live up to the standard of being "good". Simmons then shows how parents can help build girls' self-esteem and give them the strength to pursue their goals.
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Best book for mom's of daughters that I have read
- By Wendy on 05-20-10
By: Rachel Simmons
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Odd Girl Out
- By: Rachel Simmons
- Narrated by: Ruth Ann Phimister
- Length: 12 hrs and 1 min
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When boys act out, get into fights, or become physically aggressive, we can't avoid noticing their bad behavior. But it is easy to miss the subtle signs of aggression in girls: the dirty looks, the taunting notes, or the exclusion from the group, that send girls home crying.
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Compelling and informative
- By Cynthia on 10-17-04
By: Rachel Simmons
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The ancient Toltecs believed that life, as we perceive it, is a dream. We each live in our own personal dream, and these come together to form the dream of the planet, or the world in which we live. Problems arise when our perception of the dream becomes clouded with negativity, drama, and judgment (of ourselves and others), because it's in these moments of suffering that we have forgotten that we are the architects of our own reality and we have the power to change our dream if we choose.
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What listeners say about I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
- Leslie A Hill
- 08-09-11
I'm sure its great if you are a mother ....
I'm sure this book has a lot to offer to most women; unfortunately not so much for me. Most of the book focuses on motherhood and parenting.. I don't have children, so could not relate a good deal of the time and lost interest.
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403 people found this helpful
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- Sherry
- 09-01-13
Missing Brene's own Vulnerability Voice
If you are one of the squillions who have watched Brene Brown on TedTalks or Oprah's Super Soul Sunday you may empathize with my review. I missed hearing the book narrated by Brene Brown herself. Lauren Fortgang's effort was not without merit, however after having been engaged by watching Brene then buying the books I missed her delivery of her own words.
The book itself was worth the investment, I've listened twice since purchasing.
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234 people found this helpful
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- Justyna
- 01-02-17
Interesting but not for me
Definitely there were parts that I appreciated for being insightful and explaining things, soon the book became pretty boring and repetitive as it constantly circled around the issues of parenting and family.
I'm in my mid 20s, I'm still a student, and I have no interest in creating a family, let alone having children. A lot of the examples and discussions in the book simply weren't for me. I might re-visit it in 10-15 years when it becomes more relevant. That's really the only thing about this book that dissatisfied me, and of course that's a very subjective reason.
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- Stacey
- 07-23-12
Good self-help book; not well-suited for audio.
I thouroughly enjoyed Brené Brown's TED talks on vulnerability and shame; I had hoped that this book would be an expansion on those discussions by the author.
This book contains a lot of useful information and interesting anecdotes regarding overcoming shame, embracing reality, and having compassion for oneself and others. However, it is not written in a style that works well with audio. It contains many parts that I would just skim in a print book; it has reader exercises that would be more useful in a visual format; and there are parts that I would like to mark, think about, and come back to (not ealily done in this audio format).
A critique of the material is that it seems to focus primarily on women like Brown, herself: white, educated, mid-upper income, etc. Though there is a nod here and there to people who are not in those categories, it is pretty clear that this book does not do much to address the broader experience of people outside Brown's comfort zone. Then again, the audience that actually buys self-help books like this is primarily comprised of women, white, educated, mid-upper income, etc. (including me).
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- Dara Burwell
- 03-13-16
Important points, anemic delivery
What was most disappointing about Brené Brown’s story?
This book makes a number of interesting and relevant points. Unfortunately it’s not a smooth read/listen – it is much longer and more repetitive than it needs to be. The book has the appearance of something that was adapted from a thesis, but wasn’t rearranged to be reader friendly. I think that Brown’s evaluation of shame vs. humiliation vs. embarrassment is very important. I just wish it had been more clearly conveyed.
Did Lauren Fortgang do a good job differentiating all the characters? How?
Fortgang did a good job narrating this book. She sounded compassionate and sincere, and conveyed the emotion that I think Brown intended.
Any additional comments?
I believe the book could have been streamlined. Sharpening the points and examples and making the book about half the length would have made it far stronger.
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- Max:Wang
- 07-29-17
Didn't think it was just women (but it is)
Didn't get any indication that this book was exclusively about women. The author is pretty much only talking about women's contexts and its often difficult to relate or even remember why I'm listening. The book itself is great, a lot of good information and good work in here but the title or subtitle should have said something about the book being specifically relevant for women.
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- THoward
- 02-24-15
The last book
Any additional comments?
I have a friend who is always saying he is looking for his last book, meaning something so good and powerful that searching for another perspective is not worth the time. I suggested I have found the last author, but not the last book. Brene Brown is moving, enlightening and so real. I have re-read her books several times. I feel like I was swallowed up as a broken soul and soothed until I could stand on my feet again. I'm not alone, I'm not perfect, I'm just me. I learned that practicing what I believe means loving myself and those around me for who they are, not what they are. Practicing each day means making my life fulfilling and happy. Practicing the art of loving without constraint, without parameters, without any restriction at all is what I want in my life. WOW! Incredible author.
I started with The Gifts of Imperfection. I listened 3 times (in a row no less!) and I have given away 20 copies of the book.
I suggest that if you are looking for your last good book then you have found your last author instead.
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- E. McNair
- 02-12-17
Every time I think she's shown me at all…
I have read three of Brene Brown's other books before I read this one. I had no idea how much this one would change how I felt. In some ways I wish I had read this one first, but at the same time having already dabbled in her theories I was more familiar with what she was talking about. I will forever be changed from reading this book.
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- Tracer McLeod
- 12-12-12
Required Reading for Humankind
Would you listen to I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t) again? Why?
I will most certainly listen again for the insight and information. But the narration should've been done by the author.
What was the most compelling aspect of this narrative?
The story-like writing style
What do you think the narrator could have done better?
She did fine; I've just heard the author in interviews and I prefer the timbre of her voice.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
Towards the end the author begins discussing her new research with men. While women seem to be caught in a web she finds that men are put in a box and punished when they try to escape. It reminded me of when my little brother started getting teased and bullied when he got too old (7 or 8 years old) not to stay in the box. Broke my heart again.
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- Kari
- 11-06-11
Love the book, not the narrator
Brene Brown is brilliant and i LOVE this book. But having heard her speak, and knowing her drawl and cadences made the narration feel somewhat jarring. It would have been fabulous is Dr. Brown had done the narration, but really, when would she have had the time? That said, this is one of her most wonderful writings and I would highly recommend it!
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