Passing

A Memoir of Love and Death

By: Michael Korda

Narrated by: Henry Strozier

Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins

Publisher's summary

In the tradition of The Year of Magical Thinking comes a legendary editor's unflinching love song about his radiant wife, Margaret, and her battle with cancer.

It was a warm April in Pleasant Valley when Margaret Korda, normally a fearless horsewoman, dropped her horsewhip while she was riding. Such a mild slip was easy to ignore, but when other troubling symptoms accumulated, she confided to her husband, "Michael, I think something serious is wrong with me."

Within a few rapid weeks, the fiercely independent, former fashion model was diagnosed with brain cancer, while Michael, once reliant on her steeliness, became her caregiver, deciphering bewildering medical reports and packing her beloved toiletries for the hospital. An operation performed by a renowned surgeon allowed Margaret to ride her favorite competition horse Logan go Bragh a few more times, but Margaret's tumors quickly returned - leaving her to grapple with the reality of impending death. In rapturous prose, Korda, a modern-day Orpheus, braids her heroic story with heartrending details of their final year together.

Passing, a tender memoir, is a testament to the transcendent possibilities of love.

©2019 Success Research Corporation (P)2019 Recorded Books

I was drawn to this recording for many reasons...

First of all I am unfortunately quite familiar with WMC, the hospital where Margaret Korda underwent two brain surgeries, and its Neurological Intensive Care unit, as well as the Burke Rehabilitation Hospital, since nearly ten years ago my husband spent over two months in these facilities after a traumatic brain injury. I am also familiar with the general area where the Korda's horse farm is located and what life in the country is like. And having worked in publishing in a previous lifetime I wanted to learn more about famous editor-in-chief Michael Korda and with what grace, or lack thereof, his athletic, fit and reputedly beautiful wife was able to face such awful physical degradation.

What I came away with was lots of helpful information about treatment decisions and even more curiosity about what their marriage was really like. I found Margaret quite selfish, demanding and ungrateful for all her husband did for her but maybe I would be just like that myself if I were in her shoes. I found it most curious that they seemed to completely avoid any conversation at all about how Margaret felt facing her death and her concern for her husband's life after she passed on. Either they never spoke of their love for each other as death approached faster and closer or the author chose not to include it.

One thing that had me wondering was how Margaret, with her enormous concern for personal privacy, would feel if she could somehow know that after her death her husband would be disclosing all the most personal details about herself and her body, right down to him discussing wiping her bottom after a bowel movement. Which made me wonder even more if this in a way was a little bit of revenge on his part. This led to googling on my part, wanting to see what more I could find out about their marriage. One thing I turned up was a controversial 1996 Vanity Fair piece entitled "Harmed Lives" that casts Margaret in a very poor light. Let's just say she seemed a remarkably less concerned caregiver during Michael's prostate cancer surgery and recovery than he was throughout her illness.

Of course now I have to read his book about that period -- "Man to Man" and maybe all his other books because it turns out I'm quite fascinated by this man. I wonder how he's doing two years after his wife's passing. Are the horses still there? Is he thinking of selling the farm? Is he in touch with all his old friends, whom, the VF article says, he was cut off from by his wife's retreat to the country. I'm very glad I read this book and I think Margaret made the right decision at her age not to undergo all the awful treatments that perhaps might buy a few more months of hanging on. I know it gave me something to think about -- how would I handle it now that I'm in my early 70s. I also think Michael Korda was an extremely good caregiver and Margaret was most fortunate to have him at her side all the way.

Touching

I so enjoy author Michael Korda
A gem. A love story beyond measure. Human and animal.