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Once upon a Time, Bitches
- Design Your Fairytale Life, Control Your Destiny, and Become the Hero in Your Story
- Narrated by: Branden LaNette
- Length: 2 hrs and 16 mins
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Publisher's summary
Hi, I’m Branden. That is me on the cover. Yes, I have a boy’s name, a mom bod, and the tattoos are not photoshopped.
Once upon a time, I realized we all have a story, we all have a struggle, and happiness is relative. I am not cynical or hardened, I am just stating the facts.
Here’s the deal:
- Prince Charming doesn’t exist.
- Fairy godmother is drunk.
- Glass slippers don't come with two-day Prime shipping from Amazon.
There is no magic fairy tale, but if you work at it enough, you can come pretty close to creating your version with a happy ending. The best part is, in life, you can continue to make edits until that shit reads exactly how you want it to.
You may not agree with everything I say in this book, but the most important takeaway is that you have to be your own f--king hero. No more damsel locked in a tower, bullshit. That ends now.
Join me as I take you through my seven magical maxims for creating a fairy tale life. I know what you are thinking: Branden, no one gets a fairy tale life. Can you stop being so damn cynical for two seconds and just go with this?
Is it possible to design a fairy tale life? Control your destiny? Be the hero in your story? I believe you can, and that’s why, I wrote this book. I am going to make you a little uncomfortable. Back out now, if you aren't ready.
Shit is about to get real bitches...
Now, scroll up, hit the "buy now" button, pour a glass of wine, and start listening!
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Story5 out of 5 stars 242
Every one of us endures setbacks, disappointments, and failures that can incapacitate us. But we don’t have to let them. Instead, we can use these events as opportunities for growth. In Things No One Else Can Teach Us, Humble the Poet flips the conventional script for happiness and success, showing us how our most painful experiences can be our greatest teachers.
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4 out of 5 stars
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HTP’S STORY AND LESSONS LEARNED
- By jaga on 11-04-19
By: Humble the Poet
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Unfu*k Yourself
- Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life
- By: Gary John Bishop
- Narrated by: Gary John Bishop
- Length: 3 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 85,292
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 72,181
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 71,461
Are you tired of feeling f*cked up? If you are, Gary John Bishop has the answer. In this straightforward handbook, he gives you the tools and advice you need to demolish the slag weighing you down and become the truly unf--ked version of yourself. "Wake up to the miracle you are," he directs. "Here's what you've forgotten: You're a f--king miracle of being." It isn't other people that are standing in your way; it isn't even your circumstances that are blocking your ability to thrive. It's yourself and the negative self-talk you keep telling yourself.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Now I'm F'd for sure!
- By Kerry Strong on 08-24-17
By: Gary John Bishop
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Hustle and Heart
- By: Kailyn Lowry
- Narrated by: Renee Chambliss
- Length: 2 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 215
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 180
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Story4 out of 5 stars 184
Hustle and Heart is packed with inspiring, motivational messages, personal advice, and relatable experiences for those making their way through life's challenging mix of joy and hardship. From bullying, sexual assault, and body image to motherhood, marriage, and career challenges, Kailyn wants you to know that there's nothing you can't survive - with a little bit of hustle and heart.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Loved this, really impressed by Kailyn amazing job
- By Elizabeth on 07-26-18
By: Kailyn Lowry
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Funny How It Works Out
- By: Manon Mathews
- Narrated by: Manon Mathews
- Length: 6 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 198
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 184
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 184
For comedian and content creator Manon Mathews, comedy is life. But it took more than luck for her hilarious antics on Vine to open the door to her career. It took years of routinely embarrassing herself, improv classes, some stints as an amateur stand-up comic, unrelenting dedication, and one life-altering night out that forced her to change her ways. This set her on the path to manifesting her dream life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent book!
- By cinematicashley on 11-18-20
By: Manon Mathews
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Lucky Bitch
- A Guide for Exceptional Women to Create Outrageous Success
- By: Denise Duffield-Thomas
- Narrated by: Denise Duffield-Thomas
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 526
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 446
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 447
Can you learn to be lucky? Self-made millionaire Denise Duffield-Thomas not only believes this is possible, she knows it's possible. From being broke, hating her office job and generally having a life that made her completely miserable, Denise went on to travel the world and make all of her dreams come true within the space of a few years, including attracting more than half a million dollars' worth of free travel, scholarships, prizes, and bank errors in her favour. And in this book, she shows how you can do the same.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Great Info, Poor Performance
- By Kris McPeak on 04-23-18
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I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck
- An Everyman’s Guide to a Meaningful Life
- By: John Kim
- Narrated by: John Kim
- Length: 5 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,222
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,061
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,063
In I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck, Kim delivers the dos and don’ts for stepping up and into manhood, which he defines by transparency and strength of character, not six-pack abs or a corner office. With his signature no-nonsense approach that will make you laugh and think, Kim takes you on a rugged, rough-and-tumble road trip of self-exploration and discovery, sharing his wisdom and insights.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Some wisdom, some common knowledge.
- By Russ on 02-21-19
By: John Kim
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Letters to a Young Sister
- By: Harper Hill
- Narrated by: Kevin R. Free
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 44
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 26
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 26
Winner of two NAACP awards for his writing, bestselling author Hill Harper is an acclaimed actor known for his role on CSI: NY. A Brown University and Harvard Law School alum, Harper is also a passionate public servant. In this book he offers comforting advice for today's youth through his own wisdom as well as that of such luminaries as Michelle Obama and Angela Bassett.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Keep writing young brother.
- By Charles Henderson on 03-02-10
By: Harper Hill
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Mastering Your Mean Girl
- The No-BS Guide to Silencing Your Inner Critic and Becoming Wildly Wealthy, Fabulously Healthy, and Bursting with Love
- By: Melissa Ambrosini
- Narrated by: Melissa Ambrosini
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,045
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 902
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 898
Ready to live your dream life? You know that sneaky voice inside your head telling you that you're not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, whatever enough? That's your Mean Girl. And she's doing her best to keep you stuck in Fear Town, too scared to go after the life you always imagined. But enough's enough! Melissa Ambrosini has made a life beyond her wildest dreams, all by mastering her Mean Girl, busting through limiting beliefs and karate-chopping through the fears that held her hostage for years.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Sadly, couldn't even get through the first half...
- By shannon on 07-19-16
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Gratitude and Trust
- Six Affirmations That Will Change Your Life
- By: Paul Williams, Tracey Jackson
- Narrated by: Paul Williams, Tracey Jackson
- Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 123
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 103
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 103
Paul Williams is an alcoholic. Tracey Jackson is not. But together, these two close friends have written Gratitude and Trust, a book designed to apply the principles of the recovery movement to the countless people who are not addicts but nevertheless need effective help with their difficulties and pain. Williams, the award-winning songwriter, actor, and performer, has embraced a traditional alcoholism recovery plan for more than two decades of sobriety.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Just what I needed!
- By Cheryl on 02-18-15
By: Paul Williams, and others
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How to Be Fine
- What We Learned by Living by the Rules of 50 Self-Help Books
- By: Jolenta Greenberg, Kristen Meinzer
- Narrated by: Jolenta Greenberg, Kristen Meinzer
- Length: 4 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 430
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 363
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Story4 out of 5 stars 362
In each episode of their podcast By the Book, Jolenta Greenberg and Kristen Meinzer take a deep dive into a different self-help book, following its specific instructions, rules, and advice to the letter. From diet and productivity to decorating to social interactions, they try it all, record themselves along the way, then share what they’ve learned with their devoted and growing audience of fans who tune in.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Disappointed
- By doughswan on 10-23-20
By: Jolenta Greenberg, and others
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Slay Like a Mother
- How to Destroy What's Holding You Back So You Can Live the Life You Want
- By: Katherine Wintsch
- Narrated by: Katherine Wintsch
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 170
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 148
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 149
In this emotionally charged how-to guide, you'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll discover eye-opening lessons about: The mask you're wearing. The one you hide behind when you say everything is "just fine" when it's not. Your unrealistic expectations. The goal-setting tactics you're deploying to get ahead could be what's holding you back. The difference between struggling and suffering. Being a mother is a struggle - it always has been - but your suffering is optional.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great for dads too!
- By Earl Cox on 06-20-19
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The Dark Side of the Light Chasers
- By: Debbie Ford
- Narrated by: Debbie Ford
- Length: 8 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 912
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 755
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 747
Debbie Ford explains that the dark side of our personality should not be hidden. By denying our dark side, we reject aspects of our true natures rather than giving ourselves the freedom to live authentically. Here she shows that it is possible to acknowledge and accept our so-called weaknesses, proving that these qualities may be hidden strengths. Full of illuminating stories and practical exercises, Debbie Ford shows us how to reconcile our darker impulses and find the gifts they offer.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great book and I would combine it with others
- By Jes_074 on 05-01-17
By: Debbie Ford
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Seven Deadly Sins
- Settling the Argument Between Born Bad and Damaged Good
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,061
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 965
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 958
For the first time, Slipknot and Stone Sour frontman Corey Taylor speaks directly to his fans and shares his worldview about life as a sinner. And Taylor knows how to sin. As a small-town hero in the early '90s, he threw himself into a fierce-drinking, drug-abusing, hard-loving, live-for-the-moment life. Soon Taylor's music exploded, and he found himself rich, wanted, and on the road. His new and ever-more-extreme lifestyle had an unexpected effect, however; for the first time, he began to actively think about what it meant to sin.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Glad I didn't read this before buying concert tix
- By S. Adams on 07-23-19
By: Corey Taylor
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Bad Advice
- How to Survive and Thrive in an Age of Bullshit
- By: Dr. Venus Nicolino
- Narrated by: Dr. Venus Nicolino
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 63
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 53
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Story4 out of 5 stars 53
In Bad Advice, relationship expert Dr. Venus Nicolino - aka Dr. V - takes a blowtorch to the shrink-wrapped “feel good” BS that passes for self-help these days. Smart and irreverent, Dr. V fuses the brains and insight of a nerdy PhD with the heart of a doting Italian mother and the artful profanity of a Philly trucker. Dr. V’s signature combination of humor, hard science, and heart make Bad Advice an iconoclastic course correction like no other. Bad Advice is a fiercely sharp wake-up call that tackles some of self-help’s most damaging truisms.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Not my cup of tea.
- By ocean22 on 05-18-19
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Everything Happens for a Reason
- Finding the True Meaning of the Events in Our Lives
- By: Mira Kirshenbaum
- Narrated by: Kitty Hendrix
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 27
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 26
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 26
In each of our lives we are faced with events that seem inexplicable, unjust, even cruel - events that can shatter our perception of the world, our understanding of ourselves, and our faith in a higher power. Friends and family members often offer comfort with "Everything happens for a reason" - a simple, common phrase with an unbearably elusive meaning. In Everything Happens for a Reason, psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum helps us understand the principles behind this frequently used phrase and provides us with tools to grasp its true meaning.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Touching, relevant, impactful.
- By Tuck on 10-19-22
By: Mira Kirshenbaum
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Abundance Unleashed
- By: Christian Mickelsen
- Narrated by: Christian Mickelsen
- Length: 3 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 46
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 38
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 37
From a child on welfare to a self-made multimillionaire, CEO of Future Force, Inc., personal coach, and spiritual healer, Christian Mickelsen is on a mission to awaken humanity to the oceans of abundance of money, love, health, happiness, and success that lie within each of us. External forces such as society, the economy, and politics are nothing compared to the internal forces of our own fears, doubts, and limited thinking.
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5 out of 5 stars
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One of the few "Self Help" books....
- By TheBests on 09-14-17
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Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting, Expanded Study Edition
- The Astonishing Power of Feelings
- By: Lynn Grabhorn
- Narrated by: Susan Hanfield
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 58
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 54
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 53
Have you ever been so wrapped up in day-to-day life that you stop paying attention to how you're feeling? Something goes wrong, and you blame other people. The key to getting back on the right track is simple: Focus inward on what it would feel like to have it all go right. And it will. Lynn Grabhorn reveals how to invite the positive to you by focusing on what you want. She tells you that all it takes is a few bursts of pure intense concentration. Allow yourself to start believing in what you can accomplish instead of what you can't.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great Book
- By Doug on 04-04-24
By: Lynn Grabhorn
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What listeners say about Once upon a Time, Bitches
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Ryan
- 04-28-21
Incredible everytime I read it!
This is a powerful book that I share with everyone joining my team! The book itself is incredible but to listening to Branden read the book really makes the book come alive.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Brandy Rayburn
- 12-05-19
Sit Down and Listen, WITH YOUR HEART
I couldn't put this audible down. I thought this would be my morning book for at least a week, but Branden's words were too good to put on pause. She has a compassion in her writing that I've never experienced. I could tell that every word, every inflection was intentional. She has a heart of gold and it shows in this book. Thank you Branden for sharing your story and inspiring me. The universe doesn't do things to us, it does things for us!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Debbie L. Pilorget
- 01-01-21
Highly Recommend!
Ready for some real talk? Ready to get off your ass and DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE? Then this book is for you!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- kimberly hess
- 01-16-20
You have the power!
Perfect read for a delayed flight. Happiness & joy - you have to make a choice.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Carrie Gregory
- 05-24-20
a friend telling you what you need to hear
I've read the book but it's different to hear someone read it. it's like a good friend telling you what you need.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Leonard C Johnson II
- 03-17-22
What an Incredible and Powerful Woman!
I am blown away by the life experience, level of love, and openness of this author. What a real and very refreshing breathing breath of fresh air. This book gives me hope that there are beautiful and courageous women out there who aren’t fake and truly have a heart of GOLD. I’m actually in awe of how you could have gone through all of this and still have such an incredible attitude and seek to give more to humanity.
Thank you, Branden!
You are a RocKStar!
Leo
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Connie Banks
- 01-19-20
great book
this is one of the most honest books I have listened to.
Love it from beginning to the end.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance2 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Rita
- 07-14-20
Too many F words
The book warned about strong language, so I knew about it. But oh boy there were just too many swearing to give this book 5 stars. A great story and loved it otherwise. Still the language was just too much, when almost every sentence has an F word in it.
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