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How May I Offend You Today?
- Rants and Revelations from a Not-So-Proper Southern Lady
- Narrated by: Susannah B. Lewis
- Length: 4 hrs and 29 mins
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How May I Offend You Today?
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Publisher's summary
USA Today best-selling author Susannah B. Lewis (creator of Whoa! Susannah) is back with another hilarious take on what so many people are thinking but are afraid to say aloud.
Millions of online fans have flocked to Susannah B. Lewis's hysterical, take-no-prisoners rants about her pet peeves in everyday life. Now, in How May I Offend You Today?, Lewis turns her trademark humor to ordinary events that work her nerves - from people who wear T-shirts with indecent images to public displays of affection in the plumbing aisle of Lowe's - while keeping a wry eye on herself and her own temptation to vent grievances "like a teenage girl in overalls and Birkenstocks.
"Weaving together anecdotes from her distinctly Southern life with frequent references to the Bible, what she calls "our manual for living," Lewis says what many of us have thought, and in the process she encourages us to stand firm in our views. The witty yet down-to-earth banter and uplifting, inspirational message of How May I Offend You Today? gives listeners everywhere the boost necessary to make it through even their most trying days.
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Beth Moore is widely known and respected as an engaging and effective speaker, Bible teacher, and bestselling author. Feathers from My Nest reveals a more contemplative and personal side of Beth, very much in the spirit of her work, Things Pondered. Feathers from My Nest is a collection of vignettes, as Beth reflects on items belonging to her daughters who have left the nest for college.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Delightful!
- By Sheli K Johnson on 10-12-23
By: Beth Moore
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The Very Worst Missionary
- A Memoir or Whatever
- By: Jamie Wright
- Narrated by: Madeleine Lambert
- Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 316
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 278
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 281
After finding Jesus at a suburban megachurch, young Jamie Wright trades in the easy life on the cul-de-sac for the green fields of Costa Rica. There, along with her husband, kids, and the family cat, she intends to serve God and make converts. But she soon loses faith and falls into a funk of cynicism and despair. Fortunately, Knives the cat is there, looking on with just enough disinterest to make her laugh...and dare her to try another way. That other way turns out to be telling the truth. She launches a renegade blog, Jamie the Very Worst Missionary, which wins a large following.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Didn’t like the book
- By Jonathan on 04-17-20
By: Jamie Wright
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7 Things He'll Never Tell You but You Need to Know
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Chris Fabry
- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 91
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 60
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 60
Kevin Leman wants you to know that men are less complicated than you give them credit for. At the core of men, you'll find a sensitive, emotional being that needs to feel loved, respected and needed. The more you understand and are sensitive to the fears, anxieties, and insecurities that make the men in your life behave the way they do, the stronger your relationships will be.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wonderful Book on Relationship
- By Cindy Bourne on 08-14-10
By: Kevin Leman
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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 866
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 795
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 794
In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
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3 out of 5 stars
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A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
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Jesus Prom
- Life Gets Fun When You Love People Like God Does
- By: John Weece
- Narrated by: E. Timothy Bass
- Length: 3 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 42
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 39
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Story5 out of 5 stars 37
Do we love people like Jesus loves them?Jesus loved verbs. He loved action words such as live, come, rest, learn, hear, give, go, and even die. Wouldn’t it make sense that the people who claim to follow Jesus would love the same words Jesus loved?Unfortunately, somewhere along the way someone tried to make the word Christian an adjective. So now people speak of "Christian" books and "Christian" music and "Christian" schools.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great book!
- By Jeremy on 01-26-24
By: John Weece
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I'll Be There (But I'll Be Wearing Sweatpants)
- Finding Unfiltered, Real-Life Friendships in This Crazy, Chaotic World
- By: Amy Weatherly, Jess Johnston
- Narrated by: Amy Weatherly, Jess Johnston
- Length: 5 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 462
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 396
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 393
Loneliness doesn't care what age you are, how many Instagram followers you have, or where you call home. It doesn't care how "put together" you appear to the outside world. We have a collective wound that only authentic sisterhood can heal. With real-life vulnerability and "I’ve been there, too" wisdom about building deep and satisfying friendships, Amy and Jess unpack the lies we've been told about friendship
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4 out of 5 stars
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Heavy religious content slightly off-putting
- By Gary on 03-12-22
By: Amy Weatherly, and others
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Lead Me
- Finding Courage to Fight for Your Marriage, Children, and Faith
- By: Matt Hammitt, Bart Millard - Foreword
- Narrated by: Matt Hammitt
- Length: 5 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 68
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 65
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Story5 out of 5 stars 65
In Lead Me, Matt identifies the tension many men experience when trying to balance work and home life. With bracing honesty, vulnerable storytelling, and practical application, Matt challenges you to be faithful both to God's vocational call and to His call to lead your family well. Discover the extraordinary joy of actively and intentionally pursuing your wife and children. Matt reminds us that it's messy. It's difficult. And it's the most rewarding thing you can do, beyond following Christ.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Becoming the Man GOD always intended him to be. And realizing it.
- By Cindy on 03-11-24
By: Matt Hammitt, and others
-
The Shop on Blossom Street
- By: Debbie Macomber
- Narrated by: Linda Emond
- Length: 5 hrs and 6 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 617
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 422
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 415
There's a little shop on Blossom Street in Seattle called A Good Yarn. You go there to buy knitting supplies and patterns, and now it's offering a knitting class. The first lesson: how to knit a baby blanket.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Shop on Blossom Street
- By Christine on 07-30-05
By: Debbie Macomber
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She Laughs
- Choosing Faith over Fear
- By: Carolanne Miljavac
- Narrated by: Carolanne Miljavac
- Length: 3 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 255
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 232
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Story5 out of 5 stars 232
Social media star and author CA Miljavac believes with all her heart that laughter is a gift, providing a sliver of distraction from life's struggles...relief when you need rescuing...hope in the midst of hardship. Though her life has been dotted with disaster, it's through laughter that she found the strength and courage to persevere...joy for the journey. And she'll help women of all ages discover the ways laughter can carry them through their very own painful situations.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Amazing
- By Christine Eichenauer on 08-17-20
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 536
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 485
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 486
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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The Way of the Wise
- Simple Truths for Living Well
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Jon Gauger
- Length: 2 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 36
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 29
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 28
Want to live a satisfying life? Figure out your purpose on the planet? Leave a powerful legacy? In The Way of the Wise, New York Times best-selling author Dr. Kevin Leman reveals 10 life-changing principles - all packed in six amazing little verses by the wisest man of all, King Solomon. They have everything to do with who you are, where your heart is, who you think God is, and who you want to become.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Walking with God
- By Connie on 09-21-18
By: Kevin Leman
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Father Fiction
- Chapters for a Fatherless Generation
- By: Donald Miller
- Narrated by: Kelly Ryan Dolan
- Length: 4 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 117
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 93
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 94
A memoir with a message, this audiobook shares the angst of a boy growing up without a father and how he found his way.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Should make it clear this is a religious book
- By Victoria on 05-10-19
By: Donald Miller
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Hey Mom
- By: Louie Anderson
- Narrated by: Louie Anderson
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 438
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 400
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 398
Louie Anderson has been channeling his beloved mom in his iconic stand-up comedy for decades - but she passed away before getting to see him reach new heights with his breakout role. Hey Mom is Louie's way of catching Ora Zella Anderson up on everything that has been going on in his life, including his continued struggles with food and family, but also how so much has changed for the better. He also has plenty of laugh-out-loud stories about his incredibly resilient mother and his 10 siblings, as well as observations on the absurdities of life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I love Louie even more now
- By Candace on 05-02-18
By: Louie Anderson
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Hope Unfolding
- Grace-Filled Truth for the Momma's Heart
- By: Becky Thompson
- Narrated by: Becky Thompson
- Length: 4 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 110
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 96
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 94
God's love, plans, and promises for you are forever unfolding. I get it, Momma. I totally get it. Every day you wake up and try your very best. You love, give, and pour out your life for the ones who call you Momma. But no matter how much you offer, there are still days you feel as though you come up short. You worry, "Am I loving these babies enough? Is this ever going to get easier? Why does it seem like I am the only one who cannot balance it all?" Sometimes we just need hope (and maybe a long, uninterrupted nap).
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5 out of 5 stars
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Just what I needed
- By D. Fontenot on 12-15-16
By: Becky Thompson
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The Story of Arthur Truluv
- A Novel
- By: Elizabeth Berg
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Berg
- Length: 6 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,324
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,157
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,151
Three people find their way back from loss and loneliness to a different kind of belonging in this deeply moving novel. Arthur, an old widower struggling to overcome his grief, meets Maddy, a troubled teenage girl who avoids school by hiding out where Arthur goes every day for lunch. The two strike up a friendship that draws them out of isolation.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Sickly Sweet
- By Amazon Customer on 01-19-18
By: Elizabeth Berg
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Women Living Well
- Find Your Joy in God, Your Man, Your Kids, and Your Home
- By: Courtney Joseph
- Narrated by: Dara Rosenberg
- Length: 7 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 85
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 70
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 70
Women desire to live well. However, living well in this modern world is a challenge. The pace of life, along with the new front porch of social media, has changed the landscape of our lives. Women have been told for far too long that being on the go and accumulating more things will make their lives full. As a result, we grasp for the wrong things in life and come up empty.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wonderful, uplifting book.
- By The Firm Finance on 03-29-16
By: Courtney Joseph
-
Throw Out Fifty Things
- Clear The Clutter, Find Your Life
- By: Gail Blanke
- Narrated by: Gail Blanke
- Length: 3 hrs and 35 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 148
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 91
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 91
Throw Out Fifty Things is truly an eye-opener. According to Blanke, our lives are so filled with junk from the past--from dried up tubes of crazy glue to old grudges--that's it's a wonder we can get up in the morning, never mind go to work, care for our children and parents, and just put one foot in front of the other. Blanke wants to start a movement of people across America throwing out 50 things (magazines count as one!) that will help liberate us from the stuff - both physical and mental - that clutters our lives.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
So useful, listened to it a 2nd time right away.
- By Zeus on 02-02-10
By: Gail Blanke
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In her highly-anticipated nonfiction debut, humorist, popular blogger, and USA Today best-selling author Susannah B. Lewis (Whoa! Susannah) uses dry wit and an eye for the absurd to find laughter in even the most challenging circumstances. Millions of online fans have flocked to Susannah B. Lewis's hysterical, take-no-prisoners videos that capture her uproarious yet deeply faithful view of the world. Now she brings to book form her keen eye for the absurd as she reveals her experiences growing up in a small Tennessee town.
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If you're anything like Kerri Pomarolli, you've read Proverbs 31 and thought, "Who is this woman? And what kind of magic unicorn, Energizer Bunny juice does she have on IV?" As a sought-after comedian living in LA, Kerri knows about impossible standards. "I don't plow, and I don't rise early. When it says she gathers her food from afar, does that mean takeout...?" Kerri is a self-proclaimed hot mess for Jesus who has learned that God never said our lives would be mess-less, but He also never intended for us to wallow forever without a way through.
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2 out of 5 stars
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When Rae Sutton’s mama passes away and leaves her the house where she grew up, Rae can’t imagine how the little old place might restore her broken life. Mourning the recent loss of her marriage, she takes the house and settles back into her tiny hometown with her fourteen-year-old daughter, Molly Margaret, and their overweight dog. There she’s embraced by her mother’s close-knit circle of friends, the Third Thursday ladies.
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4 out of 5 stars
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The story is nice, but the narrator was not
- By Barbara Giammona on 08-01-22
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I Ain't Doin' It
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Social media comedian Heather Land uses her trademark sassy, laugh-out-loud humor to remind us of the many ways that real life can be really funny. Heather Land has something to say about almost everything in life - the unbelievable, inconceivable, and downright frustrating - and why she “ain’t doin’ it.” In her first book, Heather shines a light on the (occasional) ridiculousness of life through a series of hilarious essays, dishing on everything from Walmart and ex-husbands to Southern beauty pageants and unfortunate trips to the gynecologist.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I Did Do It!
- By M S Wright on 05-29-19
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I Can See Myself in His Eyeballs
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What would it be like to get so close to God that we could see ourselves in His eyeballs? What if we could see our images reflected there because we were so close to him? Chonda Pierce wants to get close enough to God to see herself as God sees her. But to move closer to God, we first have to see him.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Thought provoking, funny, faith building
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David Mitchell’s 2014 best seller Thinking About It Only Makes It Worse must really have made people think - because everything’s got worse. We’ve gone from UKIP surge to Brexit shambles, from horsemeat in lasagne to Donald Trump in the White House, from Woolworths going under to all the other shops going under. It’s probably socially irresponsible even to try to cheer up.
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4 out of 5 stars
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- By Maggie May on 11-19-19
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What listeners say about How May I Offend You Today?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- KMC
- 02-04-21
Southern Truth
Great advise to live by. The Golden Rule all braided-up with humor and grace.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 04-02-21
Such a great read!!
This book was awesome! Susannah is so funny and I found myself cracking up all throughout this book. I also cried a few times, especially when she talked about her sweet pup Newt. She is an excellent writer and her stories of life and her walk with Christ are enjoyable, heartwarming and inspiring!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jonathon Hill
- 03-14-23
Loved it…again
I’ve listened a dozen times and I will listen a dozen more. After “you can’t make this stuff up” it’s another favorite. I listen when I need a reality check, a dose of Jesus, when I miss my mom or dad or dog. Or when I just want to laugh and cry at the same time. If anyone has a negative review they obviously have never followed the author on Facebook because she is real and brilliant and hysterical! And I don’t think pajamas should be worn in Walmart either!! Many blessings to Susannah Lewis!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Christy Todd
- 10-28-20
Thank You
My heart cried as I listened. Your words always inspire me to do better and be better. You talk from n the heart and show love and grace.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- OlatheShadi
- 02-07-21
Amazing as always with Susannah
I have listened to Susannah since Anna & Susannah and she never fails me. This book led me to think of some topics such as those "thrive on neglect" people and why my teens are so moody. This book was an easy read because she is just like me in so many ways. Would recommend to anyone.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- J. Breit
- 03-04-21
LOVE!!
I love her real, honest story. She makes life a blessing, even through difficult times. She’s funny & keeps you interested.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jennifer Smithey
- 10-31-20
Always a blessing!
Love this lady and her delivery of Gods message! Really makes you take a look at yourself and stop and think a minute! Keep up the good work Susannah!!!!! Blessings to you and your family!!!!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Melody Clifton
- 10-21-20
You can't NOT love her!
Susannah is funny, real, and best of all she's a God-loving southern woman! Her stories are the best!!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Fred Beebe
- 03-13-21
A cheerful reader
I loved the book. The sense of humor of the author was great. She pointed out things that happen to all of us yet she has a loving soul. Her dedication to the Lord is shown through in her storytelling. I really enjoyed it.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Tiffany
- 10-24-20
A fantastic God fearing, feel good book
As great as Can't Make This Stuff Up! I appreciate every word! Reccomend to Christian southern ladies!
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