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Guards! Guards!
- Discworld, Book 8
- Narrated by: Jon Culshaw, Peter Serafinowicz, Bill Nighy, Ben Aaronovitch
- Length: 13 hrs and 29 mins
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Guards! Guards!
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Publisher's summary
Brought to you by Penguin.
The audiobook of Guards! Guards! is narrated by impressionist and actor Jon Culshaw, best known for BBC Radio 4’s Dead Ringers, and for the Doctor Who audiobooks and dramas. BAFTA and Golden Globe award-winning actor Bill Nighy (Love Actually; Pirates of the Caribbean; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows) reads the footnotes, and Peter Serafinowicz (Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace; Shaun of the Dead) stars as the voice of Death. Featuring a new theme tune composed by James Hannigan.
'NOBLE DRAGONS DON'T HAVE FRIENDS. THE NEAREST THEY CAN GET TO THE IDEA IS AN ENEMY WHO IS STILL ALIVE.'
The city of Ankh-Morpork is in turmoil, its citizens revolting. Again.
A shadowy secret brotherhood has summoned a dragon to spread terror throughout the city, intent on overthrowing the Patrician and ruling in his place. Too bad the dragon has ideas of its own...
It's up to Captain Sam Vimes and the ramshackle Night Watch to stop it. Only problem is, the Watch are more used to dealing with mobs than dragons.
And if they can't bring down this fire-breathing tyrant and reinstate their own, slightly less dangerous one, Ankh-Morpork might be lost. For ever...
With an afterword by Ben Aaronovitch.
Guards! Guards! is the first book in the City Watch series, but you can listen to the Discworld novels in any order.
The first book in the Discworld series - The Colour of Magic - was published in 1983. Some elements of the Discworld universe may reflect this.
Critic reviews
"This is one of Pratchett's best books. Hilarious and highly recommended." (The Times)
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- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,791
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,571
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,562
Somewhere on the frontier between thought and reality exists the Discworld, a parallel time and place that might sound and smell very much like our own, but which looks completely different. Particularly as it’s carried though space on the back of a giant turtle (sex unknown). It plays by different rules. But then, some things are the same everywhere. The Disc’s very existence is about to be threatened by a strange new blight: the world’s first tourist, upon whose survival rests the peace and prosperity of the land.
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3 out of 5 stars
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TERRIBLE Narration!
- By Kayla I on 07-08-22
By: Terry Pratchett
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Doughnut
- By: Tom Holt
- Narrated by: Ray Sawyer
- Length: 13 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 397
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 353
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Story4 out of 5 stars 356
Things have been going pretty badly for Theo Bernstein. An unfortunate accident at work has lost him his job (and his work involved a Very Very Large Hadron Collider, so he's unlikely to get it back). His wife has left him. And he doesn't have any money. Before Theo has time to fully appreciate the pointlessness of his own miserable existence, news arrives that his good friend, a renowned physicist and Nobel laureate, has died. By leaving the apparently worthless contents of his safety deposit box to Theo, however, the professor has set him on a quest of epic proportions.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A fun world for scifantasy fans
- By illgnosis on 06-19-13
By: Tom Holt
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The Spirit Thief
- The Legend of Eli Monpress, Book 1
- By: Rachel Aaron
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,050
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,837
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,834
He's not just any thief. He’s the greatest thief of the age - and he’s also a wizard. And with the help of his partners - a swordsman with the most powerful magic sword in the world but no magical ability of his own, and a demonseed who can step through shadows and punch through walls - he’s going to put his plan into effect. The first step is to increase the size of the bounty on his head, so he’ll need to steal some big things. But he’ll start with somethingsmall. Something like a king....
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4 out of 5 stars
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Entertaining light fantasy
- By Kindle Customer on 02-16-12
By: Rachel Aaron
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Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Book 1
- By: J.K. Rowling
- Narrated by: Jim Dale
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 192,684
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 169,089
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Story5 out of 5 stars 168,576
Harry Potter has never even heard of Hogwarts when the letters start dropping on the doormat at number four, Privet Drive. Addressed in green ink on yellowish parchment with a purple seal, they are swiftly confiscated by his grisly aunt and uncle. Then, on Harry's eleventh birthday, a great beetle-eyed giant of a man called Rubeus Hagrid bursts in with some astonishing news: Harry Potter is a wizard, and he has a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. An incredible adventure is about to begin!
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5 out of 5 stars
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A great reading of the wrong book
- By P on 11-24-15
By: J.K. Rowling
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Shadow Prowler
- Chronicles of Siala, Book 1
- By: Alexey Pehov
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 15 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 393
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 294
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Story4 out of 5 stars 300
An army is gathering; thousands of giants, ogres, and other creatures are joining forces from all across the Desolate Lands, united, for the first time in history, under one, black banner. By the spring, or perhaps sooner, the Nameless One and his forces will be at the walls of the great city of Avendoom.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This Thief will steal your time away
- By Joshua on 03-29-10
By: Alexey Pehov
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The Anubis Gates
- By: Tim Powers
- Narrated by: Bronson Pinchot
- Length: 15 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,453
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,335
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,332
When Brendan Doyle is flown from America to London to give a lecture on Samuel Taylor Coleridge, little does he expect that he will soon be traveling through time and meeting the poet himself. But Brendan could do without being stranded penniless in the teeming, thieving London of 1810.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Yesterday… All My Troubles Seemed So Far Away
- By Doug D. Eigsti on 06-21-16
By: Tim Powers
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Dark Lord of Derkholm
- Derkholm Series, Book 1
- By: Diana Wynne Jones
- Narrated by: Gildart Jackson
- Length: 13 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 387
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 338
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 336
Mr. Chesney operates Pilgrim Parties, a tour group that takes paying participants into an outer realm where the inhabitants play frightening and foreboding roles. The time has come to end the staged madness...but can it really be stopped?
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5 out of 5 stars
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One of my Favorite Fantasy Books
- By Jake on 08-09-19
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The Book of Magic
- By: Gardner Dozois - editor, Scott Lynch, Elizabeth Bear, and others
- Narrated by: Karissa Vacker, Sile Bermingham, Maxwell Caulfield, and others
- Length: 24 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 170
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 155
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Story4 out of 5 stars 154
Hot on the heels of Gardner Dozois's acclaimed anthology The Book of Swords comes this companion volume devoted to magic. How could it be otherwise? For every Frodo, there is a Gandalf... and a Saruman. For every Dorothy, a Glinda... and a Wicked Witch of the West. What would Harry Potter be without Albus Dumbledore... and Severus Snape? Figures of wisdom and power, possessing arcane, often forbidden knowledge, wizards and sorcerers are shaped - or misshaped - by the potent magic they seek to wield.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Very Good, With One Objection
- By Kindle Customer on 05-05-20
By: Gardner Dozois - editor, and others
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Foundryside
- A Novel
- By: Robert Jackson Bennett
- Narrated by: Tara Sands
- Length: 19 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,346
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,088
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,087
Sancia Grado is a thief, and a damn good one. And her latest target, a heavily guarded warehouse on Tevanne’s docks, is nothing her unique abilities can’t handle. But unbeknownst to her, Sancia’s been sent to steal an artifact of unimaginable power, an object that could revolutionize the magical technology known as scriving. The Merchant Houses who control this magic - the art of using coded commands to imbue everyday objects with sentience - have already used it to transform Tevanne into a vast, remorseless capitalist machine.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Parts & Sums
- By CaffineFreeJAVA on 05-07-19
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Theodosia and the Serpents of Chaos
- By: R. L. LaFevers
- Narrated by: Charlotte Parry
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 435
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 341
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 339
Theodosia Throckmorton has her hands full at the Museum of Legends and Antiquities in London. Her father may be head curator, but it is Theoand only Theowho is able to see all the black magic and ancient curses that still cling to the artifacts in the museum. Sneaking behind her fathers back, Theo uses old, nearly forgotten Egyptian magic to remove the curses and protect her father and the rest of the museum employees from the ancient, sinister forces that lurk in the museums dark hallways.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Girls Adventure
- By Grant on 05-03-10
By: R. L. LaFevers
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The Thousand Names
- By: Django Wexler
- Narrated by: Richard Poe
- Length: 22 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,006
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 905
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 911
With this stunning series opener, Django Wexler leaps to the upper echelon of today’s best fantasy authors. The Thousand Names opens his Shadow Campaigns series with a tale of bloody rebellion that will reshape an empire -- and a world. Captain Marcus d’Ivoire and Winter Ihernglass see their fortunes rise under the command of military genius Janus bet Vhalnich. But Janus’ obsession with the supernatural portends a dire fate for the realm.
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3 out of 5 stars
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90% battles and 10% character development
- By Kathleen on 11-15-14
By: Django Wexler
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The Infernal City
- Elder Scrolls Series #1
- By: Greg Keyes
- Narrated by: Michael Page
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,138
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,046
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,044
Four decades after the Oblivion Crisis, Tamriel is threatened anew by an ancient and all-consuming evil. It is Umbriel, a floating city that casts a terrifying shadow-for wherever it falls, people die and rise again. And it is in Umbriel's shadow that a great adventure begins and a group of unlikely heroes meet. A legendary prince with a secret. A spy on the trail of a vast conspiracy. A mage obsessed with his desire for revenge. And Annaïg, a young girl in whose hands the fate of Tamriel may rest.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Umbriel is coming
- By Brenden Zapp on 02-01-13
By: Greg Keyes
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The Train to Impossible Places, Book 1: A Cursed Delivery
- By: P. G. Bell
- Narrated by: Fiona Hardingham
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 66
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 58
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 57
The Impossible Postal Express is no ordinary train. It's a troll-operated delivery service that runs everywhere from ocean-bottom shipwrecks to Trollville and to space. But when this impossible train comes roaring through Suzy's living room, her world turns upside down. After sneaking on board, Suzy suddenly finds herself deputy post master aboard the train and faced with her first delivery - to the evil Lady Crepuscula. Then, the package itself begs Suzy not to deliver him.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wonderful adventure
- By ASW on 04-13-19
By: P. G. Bell
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Angelmaker
- By: Nick Harkaway
- Narrated by: Daniel Weyman
- Length: 18 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,506
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,344
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,343
Joe Spork repairs clocks, a far cry from his late father, a flashy London gangster. But when Joe fixes one particularly unusual device, his life is suddenly upended. Joe's client, Edie Banister, is more than just a kindly old lady - she's a former superspy. And the device? It's a 1950s doomsday machine. And having triggered it, Joe now faces the wrath of both the government and a diabolical South Asian dictator, Edie's old arch-nemesis.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A cure for the modern cynic
- By Maine Colonial 🌲 on 08-28-12
By: Nick Harkaway
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Thisby Thestoop and the Black Mountain
- By: Zac Gorman
- Narrated by: Moira Quirk
- Length: 7 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 35
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 31
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 31
In the absurd land of Nth, Thisby Thestoop can be found within the forlorn walls of Castle Grimstone, down the precarious steps of the Black Mountain dungeon, up to her nose in griffon toenails, gnoll spittle, and troll meat (to give to them, not made of them). When the prince and princess arrive for a Royal Inspection, the much too good-looking Princess Iphigenia winds up lost in the tunnels of the dungeon - without her guards, her staff, or her younger twin brother - and it's up to Thisby to guide the princess safely.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fantastic
- By Amazon Customer on 11-06-18
By: Zac Gorman
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Sabriel
- By: Garth Nix
- Narrated by: Tim Curry
- Length: 10 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 8,186
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 6,942
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 6,935
Ever since she was a tiny child, Sabriel has lived outside the walls of the Old Kingdom, away from the random power of Free Magic, and away from the Dead who won't stay dead. But now her father, the Mage Abhorsen, is missing, and to find him Sabriel must cross back into that world.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Enraptured
- By T. HICKS on 06-20-09
By: Garth Nix
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The Accidental Sorcerer
- Rogue Agent, Book 1
- By: K. E. Mills
- Narrated by: Stephen Hoye
- Length: 16 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 261
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 146
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Story4 out of 5 stars 144
Gerald Dunwoody is a wizard. Just not a particularly good one. He's blown up a factory, lost his job, and there's a chance that he's not really a Third Grade wizard after all. So it's off to New Ottosland to be the new Court Wizard for King Lional. It's a shame that King Lional isn't the vain, self-centered young man he appeared to be. With a princess in danger, a talking bird who can't stay out of trouble, and a kingdom to save, Gerald soon suspects that he might be out of his depth.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A good start to a new series
- By John Williams on 10-26-09
By: K. E. Mills
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Agatha H. and the Airship City
- Girl Genius, Book 1
- By: Phil Foglio, Kaja Foglio
- Narrated by: Angela Dawe
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 978
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 855
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 859
The Industrial Revolution has escalated into all-out warfare. Sixteen years have passed since the Heterodyne Boys, benevolent adventurers and inventors, disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Today, Europe is ruled by the Sparks, dynasties of mad scientists ruling over - and terrorizing - the hapless population with their bizarre inventions and unchecked power, while the downtrodden dream of the Heterodynes’ return. At Transylvania Polygnostic University, a pretty, young student named Agatha Clay seems to have nothing but bad luck.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Ever wanted visuals while audio book listening?
- By Amazon Customer on 02-11-13
By: Phil Foglio, and others
What listeners say about Guards! Guards!
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- A. Ray
- 06-11-23
Enjoying the new versions
I’ll always have a soft spot for the original recordings, but I enjoy the production quality and voice acting of the new versions.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Winter Cawley
- 06-08-23
Stupendiferous!
Recommended for everybody! I have waited with anticipation for over a year and am not disappointed.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jennie Gaither
- 08-03-23
loops back to beginning in the final 30 seconds
I appreciated the narrator's consistency with matching a character voice to that character's dialogue. Nobby's voice acting is a perfect match for the personality, and Vimes is fairly good. I don't know yet that I liked it enough to re-purchase the rest of the Watch arc with this narrator -- it depends on the studio quality on Men At Arms, which is written as much more of an ensemble story.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Backlash
- 01-06-24
the best
Sir Terry' is a masterful writer and this is some of his best work
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Patrick
- 12-13-23
1st disk book
It was a million to one chance but it might just work and so I laughed and cried and had a good time.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Joe
- 06-15-23
Great book great performance
You just can’t find a less than entertaining Terry Pratchett Discworld book. This is no exception.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- L. Henderson
- 07-08-23
Better than the original recording, great afterword, and one of Pratchett’s best
Great reading, my favorite so far of the new recordings. Excellent voices, timing, everything. Loved the afterword. This has been one of my favorites for a long time, and relistening to it had me almost laughing out loud with him as Sargent Colon asked if they might have a dartboard. Wonderful experience.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Cheryl A Heckla
- 05-26-23
New people
I bought all the ones that Stephen Briggs did before they were gone. But since I only had bought non audio books before I decided I would rather have an unabridged new ones than a mixed bag of speakers.
I believe that if given the chance they will grow on you.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jason Smit
- 06-13-23
Brilliant narration of a truly brilliant book!
Not my first time reading or listening to this amazing story.
Definitely my best though!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 09-24-23
Fantastic!
This might not be the funniest or most memorable disk world novel. But it is one of the most important. And it still has all the charm, comedy, and biting commentary that Pratchett was known for
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