Floating in the Deep End

How Caregivers Can See Beyond Alzheimer's

By: Patti Davis

Narrated by: Christina Delaine

Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins

Publisher's summary

With the searching, exquisite prose of a loving daughter, Patti Davis provides a life raft for the caregivers of Alzheimer's patients.

"For the decade of my father's illness, I felt as if I was floating in the deep end, tossed by waves, carried by currents, but not drowning." In a singular account of battling Alzheimer's, Patti Davis eloquently weaves personal anecdotes with practical advice tailored specifically for the overlooked caregiver. After losing her father, Ronald Reagan, Davis founded a support group for family members and friends of Alzheimer's patients; drawing on those years, Davis reveals the surprising struggles and gifts of this cruel disease.

From the challenges of navigating disorientation to the moments when guilt and resentments creep in, listeners are guided gently through slow-burning grief. Along the way, Davis shares how her own fractured family came together, and how her father revealed his true self - always kind, even when he couldn't recognize his own daughter. The result is an achingly beautiful work on the fragile human condition from a profoundly wise and empathetic writer.

©2021 Patti Davis; Foreword copyright 2021 by Mary Catherine Mayo (P)2021 Tantor

Great for beginners

I'm a 7 year long (so far) 100% disabled carer of 2 elderly parents who BOTH have different dementias. They are in the last stages of their diseases. I just wanted to listen to someone that understood my pain. There are ZERO books out there about the horrors of caring for 2 people at the same time! I could write one. I studied 100's of hours & listened to & read every bk I could. I LOVED the Into. in this bk but had to skip thru the rest as I already know it all. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book if you ate at the beginning of this long, long terrible road! I am glad Patty explains the differences between dementias & how Alzheimer's falls under the umbrella of dementia (which there are MANY) & how vital it is to know which 1 you're dealing with. My parents dementias are very different, & have had different problems, different needs, different health problems, different EVERYTHING! I thank God they saved & lived frugally so they can pay the $12,000+/month for assisted living. My sibling committed suicide & no other family on my side or my husband's has helped or given me 1 bit of comfort or even a week off to rest (tho' I was there for all of their problems to give aide, comfort & encouragement). I have never felt more alone & hopeless! I need this to end. I have had no life, no joy, no vacation, no time off, nothing but constant problems w/assisted livings who's care is minimal @ best as they cannot keep workers due to low pay & the awful job, nor are they trained in anything dementia. I've moved them 2x's, & about to try again, tho' a change @ this end stage would be so hard on them, but I cannot handle seeing their needs ignored much longer. I feel like I'm very close to a breakdown. Patty's best comment was, "You must remember how tender you are now. If others cannot treat you gently, then walk away." AMEN! I have walked away from family & so-called friends. I've been grieving daily for 7 years. I can't stand ANY uncaring people anymore. I'd rather be left alone. So, be prepared for grief not just from the dementia, but from people you've loved for so long, when you find out they really don't care about you, because if they did, they would be there for you. Just walk away, like Patty Duke said. It hurts more than you'll know, but why invest energy you don't have (as dementia care sucks EVERY drop out of you!!) in others who can't take 5 minutes to send you a card, or call, or bring dinner by,....they just think about themselves. Walk away as soon as possible. I should've sooner! Again, good book, good reader, written with great compassion...just not the book for those of us who are experts baptized thru the fires of dementia already! Great for anyone in the 1st or 2nd year tho'! I did return mine after realizing it wasn't for me. But I'll highly recommend it to others new at this long walk. Well done Patty Duke! I remember your wonderful father & wish we had him now! He'd be proud of you!

Glad this book exists

Thank you Patti Davis for going ahead of us who are dealing with parents of memory disorders. Your insight put words to my situation and gave helpful suggestions for what may be happening in my parents thoughts as they seem to be out of it. Your story was well written and the narrator was clear and had a good tone to her voice.
I’m glad I chose this story.

So insightful and helpful!

As awful a topic as this is, I found this book very insightful and helpful, both emotionally, and for useful tactics for dealing with some of the difficulties that come with dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. Thank you, Patti, for writing it. I’m grateful!

Caregiver

As a former caregiver for my Mom on her 8+ Year journey with Alzheimer’s, I feel the author has conveyed the emotional strain of dementia and the importance of finding support. The aftereffects of caregiving are just as difficult as the journey itself. My one complaint is with the narration. Throughout the entire book, the narrator pronounces Alzheimer’s as ALTS-heimers. It was excruciating to want to correct it every time, which is a lot, as it is the subject of the book! I would think the author or producer would have listened to part of the recording and corrected this before the whole narration was complete.

Practical Advice For Care Givers

Patti Davis draws from a deep well of experience caring for her father during his illness, and from her years leading an Altzheimer's care giver support group. She tells her story with delicacy and insight. She touches lightly on intra-family conflict and only as it relates to the disease. The soul and character of the man laid bare by Altzheimer's are familiar to those of us who followed his career and who retain great affection for him. The narration by Christina Delaine is flawless.

Disappointing

Author complains a lot about her mother
And friendships. I was hoping to get more out of the book.