We are currently making improvements to the Audible site. In an effort to enhance the accessibility experience for our customers, we have created a page to more easily navigate the new experience, available at the web address www.audible.com/access .
 >   > 
You Suck Audiobook

You Suck: A Love Story

Regular Price:$29.27
  • Membership Details:
    • First book free with 30-day trial
    • $14.95/month thereafter for your choice of 1 new book each month
    • Cancel easily anytime
    • Exchange books you don't like
    • All selected books are yours to keep, even if you cancel
  • - or -

Publisher's Summary

"You bitch, you killed me. You suck!"

Being dead sucks. Make that being undead sucks.

Literally. Just ask Thomas C. Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody, the woman of his dreams, is a vampire. And surprise! Now he's one, too.

For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a deal breaker. But Tommy and Jody are in love, and they vow to work through their issues. Like how much Jody should teach Tommy about his new superpowers (and how much he needs to learn on his own). Plus there's Tommy's cute new minion, 16-year-old goth girl Abby Normal. (Well, someone has to run errands during daylight hours!)

Making the relationship work, however, is the least of Jody and Tommy's problems. Word has it that the vampire who nibbled on Jody wasn't supposed to be recruiting any new members into the club. Even worse, Tommy's erstwhile turkey-bowling pals are out to get him, at the urging of a blue-dyed Las Vegas call-girl named (duh) Blue.

And that really sucks.

Love in vein: listen to more vampire fiction.

©2007 Christopher Moore; (P)2007 HarperCollins Publishers

What the Critics Say

"A cheerfully perverse, gut-busting tale of young vampires in love....Moore writes with the jittery energy of a brilliant, charming class clown, mixing sex and gore and a potty mouth with a goofy-sweet sensibility to deliver laughs on nearly every page." (Publishers Weekly)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.3 (2205 )
5 star
 (1101)
4 star
 (729)
3 star
 (256)
2 star
 (71)
1 star
 (48)
Overall
4.4 (1021 )
5 star
 (571)
4 star
 (312)
3 star
 (104)
2 star
 (19)
1 star
 (15)
Story
4.6 (1021 )
5 star
 (705)
4 star
 (226)
3 star
 (69)
2 star
 (11)
1 star
 (10)
Performance
Sort by:
  •  
    Carrie Tucson, AZ, USA 05-26-07
    Carrie Tucson, AZ, USA 05-26-07
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    1
    1
    Overall
    "You Suck Review"

    This is the funniest and most entertaining book I've ever read!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Sherry Oakland, CA USA 05-18-07
    Sherry Oakland, CA USA 05-18-07 Member Since 2006

    “I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.” ― Dr. Seuss

    HELPFUL VOTES
    67
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    510
    15
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    6
    14
    Overall
    "More Abby, please!!!"

    Please, Christopher Moore, if you read these reviews at all, please, please write a book just around Abby Normal. She is now one of my all-time favorite book characters. You Suck really takes off with her diary entries, and I found myself waiting with anticipation for the words "Being the Chronicles of Abby Normal". I'm so glad I listened instead of reading it - part of the reason I enjoyed Abby so much was the life the narrator gave to her through Christopher Moore's words. The perky goth girl makes for laugh out loud funny stuff! I would recommend reading Bloodsucking Fiends first if you can, as it does set-up the story a little better. it's just too bad Abby's not in it though.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Craig new baltimore, MI, USA 05-10-07
    Craig new baltimore, MI, USA 05-10-07
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    80
    1
    Overall
    "cute short listen"

    a verry funny and cute short listen

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Lady Atana 05-09-07
    Lady Atana 05-09-07

    lady_atana

    ratings
    REVIEWS
    173
    1
    Overall
    "Excellent story, incredible narration"

    THis novel was hilariously entertaining. Thet storeline is quick moving and keeps you interested all the way through.

    Warning though: I did not realize this was a sequel to Bloodsucking Fiends. You have no problem understanding the story, as the previous book is recapped here and there, but it would've been nice to have read Bloodsucking Fiends before hand.

    The narration was incredible. Normally I do not like female narrators, but this one hits the various voices perfectly. Especially the voice of Abby Normal, little goth girl, who is the shining star of this novel. Abby completely makes the novel, and narrator protrays her perfectly.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Michele Prescott, AZ, United States 04-30-07
    Michele Prescott, AZ, United States 04-30-07 Member Since 2007
    HELPFUL VOTES
    17
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    50
    11
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    1
    0
    Overall
    "Dissapointed"

    After reading "It's a Dirty Job", I couldn't wait to get my hands, or ears should I say, on another Christopher Moore's tales of fantasy mixed with real life. But frankly, You Suck, really did live up to it's title. At first it really gets you involved but slowly dribbles and goes nowhere ....so I used it to help me sleep.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jana EATONTON, GA, USA 04-01-07
    Jana EATONTON, GA, USA 04-01-07
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    1
    1
    Overall
    "Funny"

    I listened to this in the car on a very long drive. It really made the time fly by. I found myself laughing out loud on more than one occasion. The narrator did an excellent job with the character's voices, you knew exactly who was saying what.
    I enjoyed it very much.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Donnie B 1978 03-30-07 Member Since 2011
    HELPFUL VOTES
    9
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    113
    11
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    "It's OK"

    Overall, I thought this was a great book. The author definately has a way of making you laugh outloud with his type of humor. I didn't like the ending because I thought it was too abrupt, and I thought that it should have been a little longer in length. I have listened to his other books, and this was the first one that I thought ended too soon, and not at all what I thought it would be. I won't give the ending away if you want to read it, but it will leave you asking "what?"

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    beck Philadelphia, PA, United States 03-24-07
    beck Philadelphia, PA, United States 03-24-07 Member Since 2015

    Assistant Director of Nursing, Massters of Science in Nursing,

    HELPFUL VOTES
    25
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    222
    6
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    6
    0
    Overall
    "TOO FUNNY!!"

    I am a big fan of vampire genre. This book was the funniest vampire story I have ever read! I don't usually read vampire stories to get a good laugh, but this is exactly what you will do! The narrarator is great and the characters are so likable, I love Abby, she cracks me up! If you want a good story and a good laugh, then you are in the right place!!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Doug B. Atlanta, GA 03-16-07
    Doug B. Atlanta, GA 03-16-07 Listener Since 2004
    HELPFUL VOTES
    10
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    198
    6
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    "Dark Humor!"

    This book is a riot.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Joan Swamp Yankee 03-03-07
    Joan Swamp Yankee 03-03-07 Member Since 2006

    Also China Miéville, Peter Hamilton, good space-opera, No Zombies, Apocalypses, Women who sigh and go weak at the knees when seeing a man!

    HELPFUL VOTES
    185
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    654
    39
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    7
    3
    Overall
    "Funny, but trouble ending book"

    Although the book is very funny, with references and asides that will keep you laughing on almost every page...I mean, who can't love the vision of Chester, the giant naked cat?..it is also uneven. The relationship between the two main characters is sort of unbelievable, and you never get a real feel for the city, which should be a character in itself. Still, all that said, worth a listen. Ok to buy without having read the first book.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

Report Inappropriate Content

If you find this review inappropriate and think it should be removed from our site, let us know. This report will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.

Cancel

Thank you.

Your report has been received. It will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.